Kickin' It Old School

Mini Monsters: Troll 1 and 2

2009-04-09T23:23:00.000-04:00

2009-04-10 3:19:35 am

Okay, I'm in search of a movie from my childhood. I thought either of the Troll flicks might jog my memory. Unfortunately, neither the original nor the non-sequel struck a chord in my memory, but I sure had a good time watching both movies.

Even though the first Troll (1986) flick has a mini monster with a ball on the freakingposter, it's not the movie I remember. It is however a really strange flick with a father and son duo by the names of Harry Potter. Harry Jr's sister gets taken over by a Troll (or something) when they move into their new apartment building. Soon enough the troll is causing all kinds of trouble, even converting the other tenants in weird creatures. Luckily there's a weird old lady with a pet mushroom plant who helps Harry Jr. save the day. I'll be honest, I watched Troll over a week ago and my already shoddy memory has forgotten a lot of the details. Sonny Bono, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and June Lockhart all have rolls and entertain in their own way. It really is just a great, weird movie.

Okay, so a swing and a miss on the first flick, maybe the second would be a hit. Nope. Whiff. Yeah baseball metaphors! Anyway, I didn't really know Troll 2's crazy history or its title as "Best Worst Movie" when I added it to my Netflix but between adding it and getting the movie, it was mentioned on both Horror Movie a Day and in the Totally Rad Show podcast. So, I was kind of excited to finally watch the movie, which apparently started life as a completely different movie about goblins. BC and HMAD did a pretty right on review though I think I liked the movie a lot more.

Yes, it's completely ridiculous and poorly acted, but it's definitely not the worst movie I've ever seen. Slumber Party Massacre 2 still holds that spot. Anyway, the TRS guys talked about a documentary created by the kid who starred in Troll 2 that I'm interested in checking out.

Instead of doing a straight-up review, I'll post the notes I made while watching the first three quarters of the movie (I gave up and just watched, probably buzzed, after a while).

Here goes, with commentary when necessary:

-he's imagining his dead g-pa telling him a story?

-Kid has a Superman poster and fucking Killing Joke Joker HAHAHAHAHAHAHA poster!!!

-"You take them to bed with you and i don't believe in group sex" (the daughter in the story says this about her boyfriend and his friends)

-acting is BAD

-"Joshua start singing" (I think one of the parents yells this at the kid/hero)

-this kid has crazy dreams - green blood/sweat, tree fingers and sucking chest wound

-holy crap, they're driving an aerostar (in high school I drove a 1994 Ford Aerostar Mini Van, this one is pretty similar)

-the town is called Nilbog, hahahaha

-who would ever trade houses with strangers? (the whole story revolves around the main family leaving their regular house to live in the house of some strangers in Nilbog who never really leave)

-mom has a menacing/evil quality because she keeps staring RIGHT AT THE CAMERA

-is that a stripe of blue frosting on the corn? (yes, goblins love putting frosting on stuff)

-hahaha he pissed on the food! (to make sure his family wouldn't eat it)

-dad just challenged Josh to a not eating contest "just remember I've got more practice at this than you do." (which is exactly how your dad handled you when you peed on the food)

-i hear my friend scream in the woods, i'm out the door seeing if he's okay, not drinking mountain dew (the boyfriend and his friends borrow a mobile home which they park near Nilbog, not a good move in the long run)

-eww, Nilbog "special milk" that's not refrigerated

-that's not pudding it's a cheesecake with green frosting

-nothing like a warm jug of milk on a hot day

The movie goes on from there and never lets up in the weirdness. There's a scene where the Nilbogians throw a surprise party in the family's house without them knowing it that is out of control and of course, the end is nuts (you'll never hear a kid say Grandpa so many times).

Ha, which reminds me. The grandpa's name is Seth, but the kid seems to have a ridiculously hard time wrapping his mouth around the word and it just comes out garbled every time.

Anyway, you could probably start a whole blog just on this movie. I enjoyed it for the most part and have my eyes peeled for the Troll 1 and 2 DVD at a reasonable price, but, unfortunately, my mini monster quest is not yet over. Somehow I'll soldier on...

By watching Ghoulies 1 and 2! Coming soon!

Halloween Scene: Graduation Day (1981)

2009-04-03T01:14:00.002-04:00

2009-04-04 2:57:52 am So, last night I was flipping through my Netflix Instant Watch queue and wanted to watch a short horror movie, so I settled on the 90-ish minute Graduation Day (1981). After I was a few minutes in I realized the movie sounded a bit familiar thanks to a post I read over at Horror Movie A Day (the best horror site around as far as I'm concerned). Now, sometimes, like in the case of Troll 1 and 2, which I'll get to shortly), I check out a movie because HMAD's BC watched it and wrote about it. Other times, like this one, it's just a coincidence, though we both watched it on Netflix. Anyway, though our opinions of Netflix on Xbox differ (I only have a problem about 10% of the time), our opinion of the movie is pretty similar: it's not great. Check out his review for a good assessment of things. Okay, done? There's a few ridiculous things I'd like to add. First off, there is a roughly 7 minute scene which is based around a band playing a song at a roller rink or some such. The scene isn't all that interesting, but it seemed like this performance garnered more of the budget than the rest of the flick as there's lights and people moving all around. I wonder if they thought being in Graduation Day would be their big break? There was one other cool kill in the movie (though completely ridiculous). This dude on the football team (though what he's doing in pads in June is beyond me) is walking through the same woods that a bunch of kids have already been killed in and after running into Vanna White and some other girl who tosses his ball into the woods, he comes across the killer who puts a sword through the ball and then throws a perfect spiral into his torso. Hey, it's creative, if not physically impossible. And speaking of Vanna, her role really sucks in this flick. Like BC says, she's one of two annoying girls that doesn't do anything important except facilitating the football guy's death. The funny thing is that the other girl gets more face time on camera. So, while we can hear Vanna's distinct voice, you rarely get to see her face, which is the fun part of watching these horror movies with young stars. Okay, one last ridiculous thing about Graduation Day. The girl who dies in the beginning has an older sister int he military. I'm not sure which branch because I wasn't really paying attention. We do know she was in Guam though for whatever reason. Anyway, this woman who has been trained by the greatest fighting force on the face of the planet has a hard time not getting killed by some douchey teenager with a knife. She at least uses some hand-to-hand techniques when he tries attacking her under the bleachers (where he's keeping all his victims in various poses), but both parties move so slow I thought the Netflix was flickering. Nope, just bad choreography. I was really hoping that she would really jack this dork up (who looks a lot like Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers). When will we get a movie where the "victim" really knows how to handle themselves? I want a Leatherface vs. Rambo-type movie. Oh jeez, I forgot, there's actually one more ridiculous moment I want to mention. It's kind of spoilery, but I don't recommend you actually seeing this movie unless you're a completist slasher fan. Anyway, there's a fake scare at the end where the dead girl's sister is in bed before going back to the military and she imagines the killer has come back and is going to stab her in her bed. But wait, he's dead right? Right, but instead of this just being a dream sequence, it turns out that it's her step dad (I think he's her step dad, again, I wasn't paying attention. He's at least the guy nailing her mom) yelling crazy stuff at her and holding an empty bottle. It reminded me of that scene from the Simpsons where they're in the witness protection program and Homer keeps busting into Bart's room with a knife and then later a hockey mask and chainsaw. This guy definitely belongs in horror's crazy old guy hall of fame.

Charles in Charge

2009-04-02T23:08:00.001-04:00

2009-04-03 3:02:48 am

So, after getting Xbox Live I went through and added a TON of movies and TV shows to my list, everything from classic movies that I have or haven't seen to TV shows I fondly remember or have always wanted to check out. One of those shows was Charles in Charge. After doing some digging online and through my memory, I remembered there being two families, the original Pembrokes and the latter day Powells. Apparently, the show didn't get picked up after the first season, there was a two year gap and then it started up in syndication. I remembered both families from childhood (the first season which had the Pembrokes was from 1984-1985, the Powells from 1987-1990). So I figured what the heck, let's check it out.

And you know what? I freaking LOVE the first season of Charles in Charge. It's got boatloads of heart, it's funny and, though sometimes corny, the performances are great. You really get the feeling that Charles and the Pembrokes really get along. All in all, it feels real. Well, mid-80s sitcom real. And Scott Baio (who plays Charles) is really freaking charming.

The basic idea is that Charles is a freshman in college who takes care of the Pembroke children (Douglas, Lila and Jason) in exchange for room and board in New Jersey. There isn't really an overarching, season-long storyarc, which is fine, but each episode the basic format of Charles trying to live his life while juggling the Pembroke childrens' problems, his own problems and his friends Buddy and Gwendolyn.

Now, while the Powells may be the more well-known family (as it includes a pre-Baywatch Nicole Eggert), but, as I sit here watching the first episode of the second season, I can't help but like the Pembrokes better. Sure, it might just be bias, but I just find the Pembroke children and parents (the dad is played by James Widdoes who was Hoover in Animal House) more convincing.

This is rambling, definitely, and I kind of wish I would have made notes as I went along watching the episodes. A few highlights include a young Meg Ryan showing up a couple of times, Charles helping the teenage Lila deal with growing up (surprisingly honest, though also kind of hokey) and Douglas the nerdy Pembroke boy being a big time nerd in the 80s.

Normally this is where I'd tell you to do yourself a favor and check out Charles in Charge's first season on Netflix (and I do), but I've also got to throw in a few thoughts on the first episode of the second season. Charles comes back from the summer trip he left for at the end of the first season. He comes into the Pembroke house to find different people living there. Mrs. Pembroke (though it's not the same actress, blarg) informs Charles that Widdoes' Stan Pembroke got transferred to Seattle and they moved (all of this took place in two weeks in the show's time, but two years in real time, so everyone who was actually on the first season looks different). Jason, the youngest Pembroke is there as well and definitely looks more grown up. It's actually a pretty sad moment when they leave and then Charles has to decide if he's going to stay with this new family that the Pembrokes sublet their house to or move into an apartment with Buddy. We get to know the three Powell kids a little, there's a boy who doesn't do much, Nicole Eggert who's pretty much a vapid, popular jerk and then Sarah who is a sensitive book lover who's verging on maturity with no real direction. Her and Charles spend some time together and Charles decides to stay. Oh yeah, their mom is married to a guy in the miliitary and her dad lives with them, the grandpa isn't too fond of Charles right off the bat. We'll see where it goes from here, but season's 2-5 (only up to 3 is on DVD so far) have a lot to live up to, as watching the first season has been one of the more enjoyable shows I've watched this year.

My Top 5 TV Shows Right Now

2009-03-18T15:44:00.000-04:00

2009-03-13 8:35:13 pm

When the new season began I said a few words about the shows I'd been watching. Well, now the season's been on it's merry way for a while now and I figured I'd lay out my top five shows right now. They're in no particular order except #1, but they're rocking my world right now.

5. How I Met Your Mother

4. Big Bang Theory

3. 30 Rock

2. Real World

1. LOST

Unfortunately, HIMYM and BBT weren't new for a while, which has been a huge bummer as we don't really watch anything else on Mondays. I still really enjoy both shows and can't wait to see where the further new episodes take me. After watching the first season of 30 Rock all the way through I gained an all new appreciation for 30 Rock and they haven't been disappointing this year (though it is interesting to see how the dynamics have shifted by now). I don't think I laugh harder at anything more than 30 Rock. The Real World: Brooklyn has been surprising this year. I think the producers thought that, by combining a transgender woman, a gay guy, a Mormon, a girl who used to date girls but now dates guys, an Iraq War veteran, a girl who's kinda engaged, a body builder and a hip hop dancer they'd have LOADS of conflict. Instead, we're treated to the most thought provoking, yet still fun season since Las Vegas (SO MANY pranks!). And finally, Lost. I freaking love this show. I've actually found that Lost gives me something to really look forward to (my new catchphrase of late has been "Life is better with Lost"). I was close to devastated when I walked into work Wednesday morning and Justin told me it wasn't new this week. If you're not watching you should be and if you don't like it, you're crazy.

A New Venture

2009-03-18T15:43:00.000-04:00

2009-03-13 2:48:01 am

Hey Gang, I'll apologize again for my lack of posting, but also encourage you to head on over to UnitedMonkee a new site that will be a great hub for checking out my various online adventures (including links back here, of course). It's a work in progress, but hopefully it'll grow into something cool.

Thanks and enjoy!

Black Panther Is Awesome Part 2: Wild Kingdom

2009-03-18T15:41:00.000-04:00

2009-02-25 8:38:59 pm

X-MEN/BLACK PANTHER: WILD KINGDOM
(Black Panther #8-9, X-Men #175-176)
Written by Reginald Hudlin & Peter Milligan, drawn by David Yardin & Salvador Larroca

X-Men/Black Panther: Wild Kingdom isn't exactly the best example of why Black Panther is awesome. As I mentioned last time one of the big reasons I like this book so much is that it feels like it's firmly entrenched in the Marvel U without getting too detailed or confusing. That all gets hindered when you bring in the X-Men. I know a lot of people are all about the X-Men, but I still find them to be the most difficult franchise to get into thanks to the incredibly dense history. It's not even that Milligan's story is all that confusing, I just have a hard time placing this story in the long history of X-Men. You've got Gambit and Rogue on the same team, but what's their deal? Emma's there too, but is this still when Astonishing was going on? None of this really matters to the story, but it is distracting. I do like how both writers handle Storm and Wolverine though, two characters who will be important in their own ways coming up.

The story of this book is that the Red Ghost wants to start a new commie ape society in Africa. There's something about mutant animals, which gets the X-Men interested. BP of course gets involved too because this is his turf. For those of you unfamiliar with the Red Ghost, he's a communist scientist who can turn intangible and has created super powered apes who talk. There's another scientist guy in the story who can absorb mutant powers.

I'll be honest, the larger story here isn't all that interesting unless you're a huge Red Ghost fan (and I know some people out there are). What is cool about this story is seeing Storm and Black Panther together. Like I said before I don't know much about either character aside from what I've read in this book, so I'm not sure if there were any previous hints of their relationship or if this is the first readers saw of it, but I like how they are around each other, especially considering how adversarial they tend to be towards one another. It's cool to see the beginning of their love story (even if it's not the chronological beginning).

Oh, Dragon Man's in the book too which is pretty cool, but, again, the overall story isn't all that interesting. As far as my collection goes, I'm not all too concerned about adding this one to my collection, unless I can get it on Sequential Swap (a great site to get rid of some of your old trades as well as get some cool new ones). But, don't let that deter you from checking out my future installments of Black Panther Is Awesome, as Part 3 will focus on Bad Mutha, the arc that got me interested in this book in the first place.

They Can't All Be Winners

2009-03-18T15:38:00.000-04:00

2009-02-25 2:06:36 am

I haven't been having a ton of luck lately when it comes to watching movies. Aside from falling asleep about a half hour in exactly no matter how cool the movie, I've been picking some duds (though still a few good ones). I couldn't even get into watching Repo: The Genetic Opera for some reason. I'm not going to pass judgment on that one now because I was really tired, but I wanted to keep our Netflix queue going so I sent it back.

I did not however like an action movie I tried watching last night called Kiltro (2006). I made it about a half hour into that one before I fell asleep. I was hoping for an awesome action movie (as advertised), but instead I got a story about a guy who likes to fight and has a crush on a girl who blah blah blah. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I want my action movies (and my giant monster movies for that matter) to be less talking and more destruction, unless they happen to be actually funny like Police Story 1 and 2. Again, I don't really consider this a review, because I didn't watch the whole movie, just letting you action fans out there know not to waste your time.

I also watched most of a movie called Hickey and Boggs (1972) which has a lot going for it in that The Warriors writer Walter Hill wrote it and Bill Cosby stars as a tough guy private detective along with Robert Culp who also directs. I didn't have any problem with this movie, though it is a bit slow, I just haven't finished it yet because it's kind of long and it expires from Netflix on March 1. It's in the same vein as Dirty Harry and is pretty cool, so I might finish it up today. Oh, and if you were wondering, yes it's kind of weird seeing Bill Cosby as a tough guy, but he also pulls it off really well. It's fun to watch. Again, not a real review, but just some thoughts.

That being said, I do have four ACTUAL reviews:

POPCORN (1991)
Man, the 90s were a weird time for horror movies. You're looking at a time after the slasher glut greatly hindered the genre, but before Scream made them cool again. Popcorn is kind of a weird movie. The basic premise is that a college film club decides to hold a movie marathon to raise some money. But this isn't any movie marathon, they're showing movies with a gimmick like smell-o-vision or shock-o-rama. As such, they need an old movie theater to show their flicks in and a crazy old guy to help out (and then completely disappear) in the form of Ray Walston (My Favorite Martian). If you really liked the beginning of Scream 2 where there's all kinds of craziness happening in a movie theater, then this is right up your alley as it seems as though a counterculture guy from back in the day wants his weirdo movie to be seen so much he's willing to kill people for it (that's not exactly the plot, but I don't want to give too much away). There was enough quirky charm to keep me watching even though the movie isn't awesome by any means. So, if that sounds interesting (oh and the fact that someone gets killed via giant fake mosquito), check it out.

THE ROCKER (2008)

I was really surprised with how much I liked this Rainn Wilson flick. I was also surprised with the huge number of cast members I not only recognized, but knew by name (for the most part). Wilson stars as a drummer who got kicked out of what became the biggest band of the 80s right before they blew up. Now, in modern times, Rainn's down on his luck, but ends up joining his nephew's band, which garners its own huge levels of success. Aside from the cast that includes Christina Applegate, Emma Stone, Jeff Garland, Jane Lynch (from 40 Year Old Virgin and a hundred other things), Jason Sudekis, Will Arnett, Fred Armisen, Jane Krakowski, Bradley Cooper, Lonny Ross (30 Rock), Demetri Martin and Aziz Ansari, I was really impressed with how well they pull off some moments that could have come off as cheesy. There's also one part where Rainn offers up the emo lead singer some songwriting advice (paraphrase "let's speed it up and switch it to I'm NOT bitter) and he actually takes it without flinching. Sure it's kind of similar to a scene in That Thing You Do, but in this case the lead singer just decided to go for it instead of being a d-bag. The Rocker is one of those flicks that seems like it either went up against some huge other movie or their producers didn't have the juice to put much/any advertising cash behind it, because there's no reason that this shouldn't have done way better (though I said the same thing after seeing Speed Racer, which I still really enjoyed, so what do I know).

I also watched a couple movies all the way through that I wasn't really into and those were Bangkok Dangerous (2008) and The Crazies (1973). I'll be honest, the only reason I wanted to watch BD is because I've laughed a million times at the Best of The Wicker Man video on YouTube starring BD's Nic Cage. Man that's a funny video. You can get to it here after reading an AWESOME article I wrote about horror movie remakes for ToyFare. Unfortunately, BD was no where near as ridiculous as I was hoping it would be (I mean, COME ON, it's Nic Cage as an assassin!). Instead, it's a pretty run-of-the mill story about an assassin who has all kinds of rules, but is starting to not want to be an assassin anymore. You've seen it a million times and this doesn't really offer up anything new, unlike Grosse Pointe Blank which is completely awesome.

The Crazies (1973) is the first non-zombie George Romero movie I've ever seen. It was okay, but not all that interesting. Instead of focusing on characters and how they react to these crazy situations, it seemed like Romero was more focused on showing a lot of dudes in white hazmat-type suits rounding people up after a virus that makes people go bat-poop nutso, gets released in a small town. There's nothing all that wrong, really, it just didn't grab my attention like my favorite Romero (and horror) flick Dawn of the Dead does.

Four Movies I Dug

2009-03-18T15:29:00.000-04:00

2009-02-21 5:28:59 am

It may come as a bit of surprise, but my movie intake has almost trickled to a crawl lately. The movies in this post have been vied over a period of almost months. I've been a lot more tired lately and haven't been staying up as late, but I'm still watching for you, my faithful readers (also because I'm half-addicted to movies, I think). So, here we go:

NICK AND NORA'S INFINITE PLAYLIST (2008)
I didn't LOVE Nick and Nora, but I liked it about as much as I thought I would. I'm a sucker for told-in-one-night movies like Can't Hardly Wait and the like. Plus, this one stars Michael Cera and Kat Dennings who is crush-worthy in my book (don't tell Em). The basic story isn't all that mindblowing, it's your basic "two people who are dating other people meet each other, fall for each other, have a few difficulties, but SPOILER get together in the end" flick, but what's fun for me is in the details. Aside from the solid performances and guest spots by the likes of Andy Samberg, Seth Meyers, Jay Baruchel, I like the New York club setting and the smaller details like Nora's dad SPOILER owning Electric Ladyland studios. I have no idea if the club/band life the movie puts forward is accurate, but I think the idea of following a mystery band around town to be really cool, though familiar (I can't quite put my finger on why/where from). I also had music geeksplosions when they went to Electric Ladyland. And, I gotta say, I was surprised that this movie, which is based on a book that I haven't, but now want to, read not only had a sex scene but also a number of gay characters (oh, and the creepiest stripperish dance scene involving an actual girl that I can remember). I guess teen movies have changed a bit and I think it's pretty cool.

THE HOUSE BUNNY (2008)
I can't exactly say The House Bunny surprised me, because, well, I kind of thought I would like it. You've got Anna Faris starring in a Fred Wolf (SNL, DIRTY WORK!!!) directed movie that mixes Playboy and sororities on a college campus in which the main point of the flick is to turn nerdy sorority girls (including Kat Dennings, Rumor Willis and Emma Stone) into hot chicks. I'd say that's a pretty killer combination. And, as far as I'm concerned, it lived up to my expectations. Oh, plus it had Colin Hanks who I haven't seen in anything but Orange County, but I liked that flick and he's good in this too. Really, if the above description doesn't tickle your fancy, you won't dig this movie. If it does, dive on in and have a good time. I wouldn't rank it in my top five comedies or anything, but it's still worth a watch.

ALIEN RAIDERS (2008)
Alien Raiders is one of those movies that makes its way into the Wizard building and somehow found it's way to my hands, probably because everyone knows I'm the horror guy in the offices. Anyway, I knew nothing about this movie and had absolutely no expectations (in fact, I can't even remember why I watched this instead of something else like, say, Triloquist, which is in my "to be watched" pile). So, I was pleasantly surprised by this mix of Thing and The Mist (basically, "who's the alien in a grocery store"). I was surprised with how in to this movie I got (I even put a comic down to watch it). For a much better review than I could give, check out my favorite blog on the web Horror Movie a Day. Also check out the comment section for what will be a now reduntant comment, plus a comment from the screenwriter!

DISTRICT B-13 (2004)
Compared to the rest of these flicks, B-13 here is an oldie, but it's still a goody. Man, I had a great time watching B-13. It's directed by the guy who just did Taken which I hear is pretty rad and want to check out. Anyway, the story is set in the near future, something about a ghetto in France where undesirables live. The intricacies of the plot escape me at the moment, but there's an undercover cop and a crook working together to both get a bomb back and save one of the guys' sister. The story itself isn't the cool part though, I was a fan of the action scenes, many of which involved my personal favorite YouTube search of free running (or parkour if you're nasty, or French). I caught this on Netflix's amazing instant watch and can't recommend it more to action fans. Seriously, go check it out NOW.

Okay, hope you enjoyed these brief movie reviews. Look for more trade and movie reviews soon!

Black Panther Is Awesome Part 1: Who Is The Black Panther?

2009-03-18T15:26:00.000-04:00

2009-02-19 4:00:36 am

I've gained a bit of a reputation around the hallowed halls of Wizard as the dude who LOVES Reggie Hudlin's Black Panther comic. I came into it a bit late in the game (somewhere around the early teens I think), went back, got caught up and have been reading ever since. And, while I think the book got a bit weak in the over-long Fantastic Four issues (I might get to those eventually), I still think it's a pretty great series overall both because it made me care about a character I didn't really have any feelings toward one way or another (I never read the previous series') and because it felt like Reggie was really utilizing the vast resources of the Marvel Universe without getting too bogged down in said history.

So, in this semi-recurring feature called Black Panther Is Awesome, I'll be taking a trade by trade look at why this book rocks my world. So here we go with the first trade, Who Is The Black Panther?

BLACK PANTHER: WHO IS THE BLACK PANTHER?
Written by Reginald Hudlin & drawn by John Romita Jr.

Collecting Black Panther 1-6

Okay, right off the bat, I've got to say that this is one of the few cases in which I've really liked John Romita Jr.'s art. Usually it's a little too boxy for my tastes, but for some reason it really works on this book.

Anyway, the crazy thing about the first issue is that it doesn't even feature T'Challa, the current black panther, but instead focuses on three different Black Panthers from times past repelling foreign invasions, including a pretty rad fight between T'Challa's pops and Captain America back in World War II that looks even more vintage thanks to Romita's pencils (not sure how that works, but it does!). We're made aware of these past battles thanks to a small group of American politicians and military dudes trying to figure out if Wakanda poses a threat. We're also treated to a few small scenes of bad guys talking to each other, one of which turns out to be the Klaw, who, even I know, is the guy that killed T'Challa's dad back in the day. I do have one complaint about these flashback scenes, though. The dialogue seems way to modern at times. It's not a huge deal, but it is the kind of thing that could pull someone out of the story.

All of this sets up a few interesting scenarios. Who's the bad guy recruiting Klaw? What will the U.S. government try and pull? And most of all, who is the current Black Panther? We've seen these past ones, so what's T'Challa like? We'll get the answers plus more questions as things move on.

Also of interest, the footage we've seen of the Black Panther cartoon, which will be on BET, looks like they just animated this first issue like those old motion comic cartoons from the 70s. As you can probably guess, I'm pretty excited about that series whenever it comes out.

You know what's crazy about the second issue? Still no T'Challa as Black Panther. We get to see T'Challa challenge his uncle for the title of Black Panther and win which is pretty rad. Along with the scenes we also get some background about Wakanda where we find out that the Panther is the god of the people and also rules them as a king. We also get treated to some more pretty cool and sometimes brutal fight scenes between T'Challa's uncle and the challengers.

There's also an interesting set-up in the character of Shuri, T'Challa's sister who also wanted to try out to become the Black Panther, but was stopped by a falling opponent of her uncle's just as T'Challa jumped into the fray. There's some more U.S. government stuff that gets a bit old as the series moves on, but it's still pretty interesting here. Plus, Klaw recruits a bad guy/girl named Cannibal who seems to take over bodes based on physical contact. The seeds are planted.

The third issue is kind of an origin issue with some more team building on the bad guy's side. It seems as though Rhino and Batroq the Leaper (minus the silly costume, but still sporting the accent) have joined Klaw's cadre of evil somewhere in Africa. It turns out that Klaw is related to one of the dudes who we saw trying to invade Wakanda and getting killed. Klaw became an assassin hired to kill T'Challa's dad, killed him and T'Challa's brother only to get shot by a young T'Challa. Klaw went back to Belgium where they turned him into a cyborg killing machine. We also get a glimpse of what fueled T'Challa to become the badass dude we will eventually see in the book and got a glimpse of when facing off against his uncle.

The issue is capped with a few more additions to the villain crew in the form of the Vatican's Black Knight, who even sports an ebony blade and a ruler of a neighbor of Wakanda who is on Klaw's side. I'm not exactly sure how this fits into the actual Black Knight's continuity, but they did a call out to it in the most recent issue of Captain Britain (a really great book, highly recommended to all).

Finally, in issue four we get to see T'Challa in his Black Panther gear as the bad guys finally begin the assault. I don't want to get in too many of the details because they're pretty cool, but we get a great look at how the population of Wakanda looks up to T'Challa and how he, in turn, respects them. We also get treated to an example of the Rhino's toughness and an aerial dog fight with the Black Knight, plus the reveal that Radioactive Man is also on Klaw's Crew.

Issues five and six really display the throw down between BP and his people and Klaw's Crew (I like that name, they should get uniforms made up). The U.S. government even gets involved by deploying a group of cyborg soldiers that seem to have an awful lot in common with Deathlok, though the connection isn't made on the page. Oh, the Panther also has a freaking flight cycle. Awesome!

In the end, Panther faces off against Klaw, while his sister takes on Radioactive Man and Cannibal takes over his cousin in America (he's a diplomat of some kind). So, even though the good guys (and girls) prevail in their own way, there's still some lingering trouble.

So, what do I like about this book (aside from what I already mentioned)? Well, I'm pretty fascinated by Wakanda as a setting and Hudlin sets things up really well. You get to see both its technologically advanced side but also it's older, warrior and honor based culture. It's a really cool setting that really serves T'Challa later on and shows how he truly is a product of his environment.

I also really like this collection of somewhat classic Marvel villains. You've got Rhino, Klaw, Batroq the Leaper and Radiative Man all teaming up in a way that doesn't seem forced at all. Plus, I didn't even realize it until just now how little Black Panther is in the series and I was still really really into it. It's pretty cool.

Okay, this was a really long post, but I had to get in why I think BP is so awesome. Look for more installments later as I've read the first four Black Panther trades, but haven't read the X-Men/Black Panther trade in a while (I might just skip that one to save some time).

Book vs. Movie: The Real Animal House/Animal House

2009-03-18T15:25:00.000-04:00

2009-02-18 8:41:32 pm

I must admit, I have not seen Animal House (1978) as many times as I should have. My dad was always a big fan, but I'm guessing he didn't want me to watch it considering the questionable moral content. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have wanted me to read one of the Animal House writers Chris Miller's book The Real Animal House (2006).

The story is that Miller wrote a bunch of stories about his fraternity experiences at Dartmouth for National Lampoon (yes, it used to be a magazine). At some point the NL folks wanted to make a movie so Chris, Harold Ramis and Douglas Kenney pooled every story they ever experienced or heard about fraternities and created Animal House, one of the greatest comedies of all time.

Well, Miller's The Real Animal House collects all of his memories and stories. Part autobiography, part oral history, Miller switches from first to third person as he gets to college and becomes Pinto. The shift is a bit distracting, but once you really get into the tales of Adelphian lore, you don't really notice it anymore.

And let me tell you, there are some gross stories in here. If you thought the movie had some risque moments, you might not want to check the book out, but if that kind of stuff doesn't bother you, I really recommend this book. Aside from being highly entertaining and funny, it's really interesting to be transferred to the wild world of fraternity life in the early 60s as rock and roll was really taking root and students were trying everything they could to make the cold New Hampshire winters pass in the at-the-time all male world of Dartmoth. I'm not saying this was necessarily how all college life was in the 60s, but it's a cool look. Plus, it reminded be a little of my fraternity days back at Ohio Wesleyan. We were never as crazy as either the book or movie fraternities, but there are definitely some characters and moments that echoed my experiences, though, luckily I never got stuck with a flattering nickname (we pretty much called everyone by their last name all the time, with a few exceptions).

Anyway, if you haven't seen Animal House you really should. It's the rare movie that doesn't really have one central character and yet you never really seem to notice. All the actors deliver stellar performances and there's something new to laugh at every time you check it out. I also recommend viewing the special features, one of which catches up with the characters, the other interviews many of the actors a few years ago about their experience with Animal House, even Kevin Bacon.

I picked the book up at my local Barnes and Noble in hardcover for around 6 or 7 bucks and I highly recommend it if you can find it for that price, otherwise the hardcover is $24.99. I tend not to buy new, full price hardcovers because I'm pretty cheap, but the low price, the subject matter and the super cool cover (Google it, uploading pics is a pain) all encouraged me buying it and I recommend you do too.

Trade Post: Thor & Dark Phoenix Saga

2009-03-18T15:24:00.000-04:00

2009-02-13 4:45:30 pm

Today we've got a pair of Marvel trade reviews for your reading pleasure:

THOR VOL. 1 (Marvel)
Written J. Michael Straczynski & drawn by Oliver Coipel
On paper, I didn't think I'd like JMS's Thor. I've never been a big fan of the character and JMS disappointed me with Rising Stars after which I kind of stopped reading his stuff (also because I'm not a big FF or Spidey fan, though his Midnight Nation is rad). Also, I remember reading in Wizard a bunch of years back (I think right before I got my job) that Mark Millar and Steve McNiven were going to work on a Thor book where all these different Asgardian weapons started falling to Earth and new people were picking them up and becoming Don Blake/Thor-like pairings. That sounded pretty rad, but it never happened. Then that Thor clone thing happened in Civil War, so I was pretty much done with the idea of Thor.

Even with all that, I still started reading Thor when it came out and I was shocked to realize that I really liked it. I can't even really describe why I like it so much. I think it's the basic simplicity of a character that's been around for decades. Even though Thor's trying to find his fellow Asgardians in human form, it doesn't feel too bogged down in continuity. I also really like how he just decided to set up shop in Oklahoma as a floating castle-city. It's a really cool visual which is made all the cooler by Coipel's slick art. I can't remember if I've read any books he's drawn before, but I'd definitely make a point from here on out.

Unfortunately, I missed one issue in the first six and got off the story, which is a bummer because now I'll either have to find all the issues in the Wizard library (a veritable wasteland) or just read the trades as they come out which will take a while. Oh well, I'm still down with the book and from what I hear it's still doing well, so hopefully it'll be around for a while.

X-MEN: THE DARK PHOENIX SAGA (Marvel)
Written by Chris Claremont, co-plotted and drawn by John Byrne

I've talked a lot of X-Men trash over the years. Partly it's because I'm a dyed in the wool DC fan. Part of it is that I'm not a big Chris Claremont fan because of his run on Gen 13 (I was a HUGE fan of that book back in the day). And partly because I'm kind of sick of people saying how great it is.

But, all that being said, I figured I should at least give it a shot and see how it is so I can make an educated argument as to why I don't like the book (if in fact I don't). Well, I was surprised that I didn't hate the book. I don't think it's anywhere near the level of Dark Knight or Watchmen, books that I've heard it compared to before, but it's pretty good for a comic from 1979-1980.

Part of the problem is that I knew exactly what was going to happen and there were very few if any surprises. I guess I can thank my beloved X-Men animated series and reading various reviews and write-ups in Wizard for that. Anyway, sometimes you know how something's going to end, but the ride is still fun. Unfortunately, I kept getting let down by moments that I've heard were supposed to be awesome. The one that really sticks out in my mind is the couple of issues in which Wolverine gets knocked through the floor of the Hellfire Club and then comes back and kicks ass to save his teammates. Sure there are a couple of cool moments, but most of the issue is spent watching a Revolutionary War era Cyclops fighting in mind space or something. The final fight with the Imperial Guard is kind of boring as well. Plus John Byrne's very pretty art is often covered with dialogue that explains exactly what you're seeing the characters do on the page.

Like I said the story's not bad, especially if you haven't had nearly every beat of the story ruined for you and also if you have a predilection for Silver Age-type stories, but it doesn't really make me want to read the rest of this era of X-Men, though X-fanatic and Wizard World guru Brett White suggested I read From the Ashes which is on my list. We shall see I guess.

My Skate 2 Review

2009-03-18T15:23:00.000-04:00

2009-02-12 12:13:09 am

Hey gang, check out the ToyFare blog for my riveting review of EA's Skate 2 for the Xbox 360.

New York Comic Con

2009-03-18T15:22:00.000-04:00

2009-02-12 12:08:19 am

So, as I'm sure you're aware, this past weekend was the enormous New York Comic Con. I've actually gone every year and the show gets better and better, though, that's pretty easy considering how poorly laid out it was the first year.

I mostly walked around and talked to my various ToyFare contacts, but I also got a chance to flip through some boxes of cheap trades ($5, 50% off and best of all, buy 1 get 2 free!!!). So, keep an eye out for a bunch of trade reviews in the coming days and weeks (including a four trade Black Panther retrospective).

Aside from that, I was too much of a wuss to talk to any artists and get sketches in my Green Lantern themed sketchbook (as of now, it's got one sketch, though it is a pretty cool Koi Pham Guy Gardner). So, if any artists are reading this and want to contribute, let me know :)

Last but not least Justin Aclin, the big man at ToyFare, lead a slew of us in a Twisted ToyFare Theatre panel that turned out to be a lot of fun. So, thanks to anyone who came out for that and anyone who wished me a happy birthday on Friday (my 26th).

And, seriously, if you're an artist and want to draw some rad Green Lanterns, drop me a line!

Halloween Scene: With (Robot) 'Friends' Like These...

2009-03-18T15:20:00.000-04:00

2009-02-05 3:16:36 pm

You know how sometimes your friend will tell you about a movie that sounds pretty awesome and then, in fact, turns out to BE pretty awesome? Well, I was hoping that would happen after Rickey gave me the following description of Wes Craven's Deadly Friend (1986) (paraphrased, of course): "So, there's this kid who built a robot and he likes this girl. A neighbor shoots the robot and the girl's abusive dad accidentally kills her, so the kid combines them and the robo girl starts killing people." He then sends me a clip of a girl throwing a basketball at an old woman and her head EXPLODES (it's on YouTube, just search for Deadly Friend) and I was sold.

Unfortunately, Deadly Friend is a freaking boring movie. If the above premise sounds awesome and you love the YouTube clip, don't bother with the movie. Just watch the clip over and over and you'll get more enjoyment out of this flick because, even though the clip promises Machine Girl levels of gore, that one scene is about all you get. There's also a really weird scene at the very end (I guess this is a SPOILER, but seriously, don't bother seeing this movie) where the kid is standing over the dead girl and her skin starts tearing away to reveal a sleeker version of the robot underneath her skin. It's actually a pretty cool looking scene, but it doesn't make any sense seeing as how he merely put some kind of chip into her chest cavity to bring her back from the dead.

To be completely honest, I don't remember a lot of the other details about the movie because it was boring, I watched it a few weeks ago and I was probably either dozing off or reading a trade towards the end, but I do remember that the robot looked like a weird combination of Wall-E and Johnny 5 from Short Circuit (a movie I freaking LOVED as a kid). Oh, also, Christy Swanson plays the girl/robot, but even that wasn't interesting enough to keep me, well, interested.

Speaking of Johnny 5, his human companion, Steph-a-nie (a.k.a. Ally Sheedy) stars in the other robot movie I watched in the past few weeks, Man's Best Friend (1993). I can't say that Man's Best Friend is a movie I've been wanting to see for years or anything, though I do remember seeing the box in my local video store. In fact, the only reason I watched it is because it was going to disappear from my Netflix Watch Instantly thing. Plus it boasted Lance Henriksen in a starring role, so I figured, what the heck?

It's not a great movie, but I'd probably watch it again before I'd watch Deadly Friend. The basic idea is that Sheedy's a news lady who's trying to expose animal testing at some kind of facility only to accidentally free a dog named Max that turns out to be an experiment in genetics and robotics. You see, Henriksen and his scientist buddies combined the DNA of animals like monkeys, owls and squirrels (or something) into a dog, but he's also part robot for some reason (again, I got bored and missed some presumably important plot points).

Anyway, the dog's dangerous and has some pretty cool kills, especially if you keep telling yourself it's not a real dog climbing a tree and devouring a clearly real cat (the dog is the obvious fake in this case). The kills are pretty cool, but the whole time I was kind of dumbfounded this this movie got made. I'm not really familiar with either Henriksen or Sheedy's careers at this point, so this could either have been a movie with pretty big names or a desperate grab for cash from two not-so-hot-anymore stars, but man, what a weird movie.

So, if you're feeling like watching a robot movie, watch Wall-E or Short Circuit. If you're looking for a robot movie about killing and you've seen the Terminator movies a million times, I guess you could check out Man's Best Friend. And, if you're a Craven completist, I still recommend skipping Deadly Friend.

Iron Mongering: Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. & Secret Invasion War Machine

2009-03-18T15:19:00.000-04:00

2009-02-03 9:09:57 pm

In my ever-expanding quest to read more Iron Man comics I decided to give a few recent trades a shot, which brought be to Iron Man: Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Secret Invasion: War Machine. I wanted to read all of the post-Civil War Iron Man books, but couldn't find them in the library, so this will do.

IRON MAN: DIRECTOR OF S.H.I.E.L.D.
Written by Daniel and Charles Knauf, drawn by Roberto de la Torre
As some of you may know, I was involved in the weekly Civil War Room review column on wizarduniverse.com lead by former Wizard staffer Rickey Purdin. I enlisted thinking it would be a seven week commitment (that's how long it was supposed to take to come out right?). Well, it turned into an over year long commitment in which I read 99% of the Civil War related comics (thank you vacation). Anyway, because of all this, I feel pretty confident in saying that Iron Man was not a well handled character at the time, at least in my opinion.

So, with that in mind, I was pretty apt to skip Iron Man's post-Civil War comic which saw him in charge of S.H.I.E.L.D. an organization most well known for being lead by one of the coolest characters in the known universe, Nick Fury. But, alas, that didn't keep me away forever.

This trade is a pretty interesting one. The writers Knauf spin an intriguing yarn with plenty of espionage and superheroics all the same. I really like how Tony has built Iron Man-like armor for his S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. That's a cool touch that really makes sense. Also, I like how Dum Dum Dugan doesn't like Tony's way of running S.H.I.E.L.D. (like a business instead of a military organization). There's some pretty cool moments between the two of them as their relationship grows over the issues.

The book, which collects Iron Man #15-18, also features the return of the handless Mandarin who gets the alien power rings surgically inserted into his spine. I really wish I had the next few volumes to read between this and Secret Invasion to see how that played out. Some day I guess...

All in all, good stuff. Maybe not an easy entry point for new readers, but it's a good read for the initiated and also reprints two older stories, one starring Nick Fury, the other Iron Man. There's also reprints of some Marvel Spotlight: Civil War stuff and Marvel Handbook stuff, so that's a good deal.

SECRET INVASION: WAR MACHINE
Written by Chris Gage and drawn by Sean Chen
This book collects the repurposed Iron Man: Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. issues (#33-35) which were dubbed War Machine: Weapon of S.H.I.E.L.D. while Iron Man was stuck in the Savage Land for six months.

I actually really dug this story. It's one of the cooler Secret Invasion tie-ins, far as I'm concerned. What you get is Jim Rhodes, a.k.a. War Machine, getting a distress call from Tony telling him that StarkTech had been compromised by the Skrulls, but luckily Rhodey (who's apparently a cyborg who looks an awful lot like Cyborg now) doesn't have StarkTech inside him, so he's cool. Tony also leads him to a satellite that's shielded from everyone that also transforms into a giant robot that Rhodey can control.

The story also has a pretty good tussle with the Winter Guard, some cool Super Skrulls that actually get identified (why couldn't they tell us who made up ALL the Skrulls?!) and a character by the name of Suzi Endo who is apparently known, but not by me. I wish this book would have come with some kind of intro or a Handbook entry on some of the characters to let me know what's up with them, but I got the gist of it. I haven't read the new War Machine book, but this definitely makes me want to, especially if it has a satellite that transforms into a giant robot!!!

Trade Post: Marvel Mania

2009-03-18T15:17:00.000-04:00

2009-02-02 5:46:11 am

Time for some merry musings about a myriad of Marvel's most moving...comics. Wow, that's harder than it looks. Stan Lee should write an alliterative dictionary. Anyway, I've been catching up on some recent Marvel stuff that I missed out on the first time around, so here goes:

GHOST RIDER: HELL BEND & HEAVEN BOUND (Marvel)
Written by Jason Aaron and drawn by Roland Boschi & Tan Eng Huat
I've been hearing about how awesome Jason Aaron's Ghost Rider run has been, that it kind of takes a grindhouse approach to a character whose book wasn't exactly setting the world, ahem, aflame. Maybe it's because it's been hyped up so much, but I didn't find this volume, which collects Ghost Rider #20-25, all that awesome. Sure it was cool seeing Ghost Rider get mixed up with some ghosts on a highway and crazy nurses, but for me it never went beyond being just cool. I also couldn't help but feel like these were all Hellblazer stories bounced to another universe and used on Ghost Rider. That's probably not a fair comparison, but I do like the general approach to the character. Hey, I wouldn't be reading the book otherwise.

Also, I'm generally not a fan of the art, but I think it works in a book like this. It's kind of like how I wouldn't normally like some of the artists who do BPRD or Hellboy minis, but in the context of that kind of book the art really works well. It's pretty much the same thing here. All this being said, I will give the next volume a read, just to see how it goes, hopefully I'll be surprised.

THE INCREDIBLE HERCULES: AGAINST THE WORLD (Marvel)
Written by Greg Pak & Fred Van Lente and drawn by Koi Pham and others
Man, this is a good book. I loved Planet Hulk as it was happening but wasn't all that thrilled with World War Hulk (I'm not a fan of Romita Jr.'s). After all that I was kind of mad that Jeph Loeb was writing a Hulk book while Greg Pak, the guy who made Hulk awesome again got relegated to a Hercules book. I later found out that this was how Pak wanted to do things and heard good things about Herc, so I'm giving it a shot and unlike Ghost Rider, I'm 100% sold on Incredible Herc.

The book is great. Hercules is a pretty fascinating character, not just the wine swilling rogue we've seen in issues of Avengers past, but a really complicated dude who's lived an amazingly long life. The writers really dig deep, but don't pile things on too heavily and bury the fun. And there's plenty of fun.

Herc's chum in all this is Amadeus Cho, the seventh smartest person (first smartest kid) on Earth (I'd like to see the list in ranked order), a character I've grown to like in his few appearances leading up to and including WWH. Cho's obsessed with shutting S.H.I.E.L.D. down because of how they treated Hulk, but Herc doesn't want to destroy the good with the bad. Meanwhile, Ares is attacking Herc a lot, trying to put his arrogant, famous brother down.

My one complaint about Incredible Herc is that I'm not a big fan of Ares' characterization. I really really liked Michael Avon Oeming's Ares miniseries from a few years ago, but I feel like the character he set up there hasn't really been used as much beyond "big huge bad ass" in later appearances. Here he's a crazy, jealous dude who just wants to put Herc down. It's kind of strange and maybe that's how his character has been developed in books I haven't read, but it just feels a little off to me and took me a bit out of the story.

I can't wait to check out the next trade, which, I think, will be Secret Invasion stuff. I read one issue when it came out and really liked it, but it was part 2 or 3 and I missed the rest.

Machine Girl (2008) Is Freaking Awesome!!!

2009-03-18T15:16:00.000-04:00

2009-01-31 5:20:06 am

Holy crap, Machine Girl is an awesome movie. If you like action, big guns, Asian school girls, Dead Alive levels of blood, crazy murders, track suit wearing ninjas and a quartet of vengeful relatives with a football (American, I'll say soccer when I mean soccer) motif and gun gauntlets, then this is the movie for you.

I first heard about this flick last year when one of my buddies sent it around in an E-mail. I was pretty blown away by the trailer, which turned out to be the first few minutes of the movie, and was super excited when I came across it on Netflix and bumped it to the top of my list.

Here's the basic story. The main girl, Machine Girl (or MG from here on out) has this brother who's being bullied by the son of a Yakuza. Little bro gets killed in a tussle with the bullies which sends his sister on a murderous rampage that leads her to the Yakuza who cuts her arm off. This is after her arm gets tempura fried by the mom of one of the other kids. Hilarious. So, after her arm gets sliced, she goes to this mechanic who builds her an arm that's a freaking Gatling gun. From there, the aforementioned ninjas in red track suits and catcher protective gear show up to get massacred. It's their deaths that lead to their family members getting recruited by the bad guys and turned into football-themed assassins.

So, as you can see the movie is awesome. The action is great, the kills and gore are worthy of the best slasher movies and it's freaking funny. It knows how crazy it is and revels in it, just like I did. THIS is what I wanted Smokin' Aces to be. Thank God, someone's still making awesome bloody action movies. Thanks Japan!

Smokin' Aces (2006)

2009-03-18T14:57:00.000-04:00

2009-01-30 12:27:45 am

I really, REALLY wanted to like Smokin' Aces when it came out in 2006. A bunch of us from Wizard were so psyched that we went to see it in the theater and man was I disappointed. I wanted so much for it to be this awesome battle of crazy hired killers killing each other at breakneck speeds. But, that's not exactly what we got.

So, like I said I was disappointed. But sometimes I don't like something because it doesn't match up to my expectations, not necessarily because it's a bad piece of work. For instance I hated Superman Returns when I first watched it. That sure as heck isn't the Superman I've been reading about since I was a kid (the same reason I don't like the original Superman movies either, but that's a discussion for another time). But, upon further viewings I like the movie more. I'm not in love with it (Superman has a KID!) and it's not even close to my top 20 (maybe even 50) comic based movies. I don't really agree with the director or writers choices, but it's a well put together movie.

I can't say that's the same case with Aces, though. The movie suffers from all kinds of pacing issues and an overwhelming amount of information, characters and business. Plus, you've got the bid end twist (which is incredibly telegraphed, too much I'd say) and then the VERY end is just ridiculous (why the heck would they let him in the room?). The alternate "Cowboy Ending" makes a LOT more sense, though it wouldn't have made up for the whole thing. I feel like there's a really good story in there somewhere, but frankly, it's buried under a mountain of other unnecessary bits of business. The last 20-30 minutes have so many head-slapping and scratching moments that it really kills the movie.

There are some fun moments and bits that have more to do with casting and coincidence than the story. The redneck brothers have a pretty cool shoot-out with blades, guns, a rocket launcher (?) and a chainsaw that's too short, but still great. Basically, it's what you expect from the whole movie, but it only lasts a few minutes and resolves itself oddly. Aside from that and one other shoot-out, though, the movie lacks action. It doesn't lack an awesome cast though. Here's a brief list: Ryan Reynolds, Ray Liotta, Jeremy Piven, Ben Affleck, Peter Berg, Common, Andy Garcia, Nestor Carbonell, Jason "Everything's Better with Bateman" Bateman and even a small roll for Matthew Fox.

Oh, and those redneck brothers I mentioned? They're made up of Keamy from Lost, Kirk from the new Trek movie and another guy. Yup that makes THREE Lost cast members in the flick and I still didn't like it. What are the odds?!

All this being said, I would definitely check out the rumored sequel called Smokin' Aces: Blowback, though I probably won't shell out $10 again to see it in the theater. For my money, I'd rather check out a Shoot Em Up sequel, because that movie was exactly what I wanted it to be.

Trade Post: Brave & The Bold 1 and 2, Silverfish

2009-03-18T14:56:00.000-04:00

2009-01-28 5:27:33 pm

Hey gang, still having trouble getting more than one post up per week, but hopefully they're worth your while when they do pop up. I've been reading a lot of trades lately, even started fully going through the Wizard comic library again, so hopefully I'll get more than the aforementioned one post per week. So, let's jump in shall we?

THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD VOL. 1: THE LORDS OF LUCK (DC)
Written by Mark Waid, drawn by George Perez
When this book first came out I was pretty excited, but it wasn't the kind of book I wanted when it actually came out. I was looking for simple one-off stories featuring two great heroes put together in a strange situation drawn by one of the few, great living comic book artist legends who actually keeps upping his artistic quality in my opinion. So, when I found out it was actually an ongoing story I wasn't really interested. Later on, I heard good things about the book and decided to give it another shot in trade form. Enter the trades.

I really enjoyed this book and am glad I read it in trade form actually because there's a lot going on and I'm not sure if it came out on time, which would have meant I'd have an even harder time keeping track of everything. Waid really nails all of the characters, which include Batman, Hal Jordan, the current Blue Beetle, Supergirl, Lobo and others. It's great to see a writer who I loved growing up still having the chops to write intricate, fun stories that both play off of and add to the rich DCU, especially when others don't seem to be able to keep up as well anymore.

And speaking of keeping up, Perez kicks ass. This guy continues to blow me away with each new issue that comes out. I can't be certain, but I think I first saw his art in Avengers when he relaunched it post-Heroes Return with Kurt Busiek. And even now I'm enjoying Legion of Three Worlds when it comes out. So, yeah, Perez kills it in the first six issues of B&TB. You get everything from great covers to gorgeous splash pages and even great faces. The man's a master and he's the perfect match with Waid for this book.

The story itself follows the heroes trying to get a hold of the Book of Destiny on multiple fronts at various times throughout the DCU. It's the kind of story I want to read in my Justice League comics, not weird Tangent and Milestone stories forced upon the writer.

Oh also, bonus points for the annotations section in the back in which Waid lets the reader know where/when each of the characters appeared for the first time and a few other little tidbits, like the fact that Perez didn't actually know how to play blackjack before drawing a scene involving the game. I love extras like this and it seems like a pretty simple and easy addition that only takes up a few extra pages.

THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD VOL. 2: THE BOOK OF DESTINY (DC)
Written by Mark Waid, drawn by George Perez and Jerry Ordway
As much as I loved the first volume, I can't quite say all the same great things about Volume 2, which takes an opportunity to tell great silver age-type stories by having the Challengers of the Unknown reading through the Book of Destiny. I really like these stories, which feature the Silent Night, Hawkman, the new Atom, the original Teen Titans as kids, the Metal Men and others. But they're not just random stories, they all have to do with the big villain of the story Megistus a new villain who could be pretty cool in the future.

My main problem with this volume is that Waid uses the old "two heroes team up, have different ways of doing things and then learn from each other by the end" storyline a time or two, which, normally wouldn't be so bad, but in a collection like this it gets a little tired. The other problem is that Perez doesn't do all six issues. I've got no problem with Jerry Ordway and he even does a great job on his issues, but I love me some Perez and it would have been awesome to see him draw the 12 or so character battle against Megistus in the last issue. Also, on the subject of Megistus, I felt like his character wasn't really explained well.

Also, this collection earns no bonus points for extras because there are absolutely none. I'm guessing it's because Waid had moved over to Boom by the time the book came out, but an editor could have done the exact same thing. Oh well, I'm still keeping this one in my collection, at least until I have a few beers and clean out my bookshelf again (it cuts down on the sentimentality).

SILVERFISH (Vertigo)
Written and drawn by David Lapham
I'll be honest, I wasn't sure what to think about David Lapham's Silverfish, mostly because I could not stand his City of Crime story in Detective Comics from a few years back. But, I've heard great things about his other work, so I wanted to give something else he wrote a shot and Silverfish is pretty short, so it worked out pretty well.

And, I really liked it. It's got a thriller/horror vibe to it as some kids in the 80s dig into the main girl's new step mom's past and find out she was into some pretty heavy stuff. I don't want to get into the story too much for fear of spoilers, but Lapham keeps a really good pace up throughout the whole story and I read it in one sitting. I like that.

My one problem with the book is the whole idea of the silverfish. They pop up from time to time, but are never really referred to or mentioned by anyone. I've got no problem with certain things not getting explained in stories, but this seems like a pretty big element to not get at least a mention. Oh well, like I said, I dug this book and would actually like to see it made (well) into a movie. I assume one of you is a big Hollywood person and can make that happen (if it's not already in the works).

13.5 Quick Movie Reviews

2009-03-18T14:54:00.000-04:00

2009-01-17 5:32:32 am

Hey gang, sorry again about my complete lack of posts lately, things have been crazy. I have been keeping myself busy with movies though, so here are 13 short reviews about some flicks I've seen lately, plus one movie I didn't watch.

SIX STRING SAMURAI (1998)
I really liked this post apocalyptic-like road trip movie with a samurai Buddy Holly. The howler-monkey kid got annoying fast, but the action and snappy dialogue kept things moving along at quite a clip. Much better than I thought it would be.

OUR MAN FLINT (1966)
Flint's a swinging secret agent int he 60s more worried about having a good time than stopping an international incident (at first at least). Great, campy 60s spy fun, that both pokes fun at but also sets itself up in the same universe as James Bond. A lot of fun, can't wait to check out the sequel.

THE MAJORETTES (1986)
I don't actually remember too much about this movie other than it involved some maniac hunting down and killing high school cheerleaders. It's a way lower budget movie and apparently very little of the money went to snag actors who can, you know, act. Skip this one unless you're a horror completist or you're looking to cross another movie off in your copy of Creature Feature (like me).

DAY OF THE DEAD (2008)
I was actually pretty impressed with this remake-in-name-mostly of Romero's Day of the Dead. I'm not a huge fan of the original or anything, but I wasn't expecting much out of this flick and was surprised. The story moves along the same speeds as the fast Zack Snyder/28 Days Later-like zombies, but my favorite part is seeing actual people I recognize like Mena Suvari, Nick Cannon and Ving Rhames killing and becoming zombies. When was the last time you saw a non genre actor semi-famous person in a horror movie after they became famous? Hopefully it's a trend that will continue. I'm actually kind of surprised that they didn't release this movie in theaters. Oh well, a pretty good zombie movie all said and done, though not a classic.

THE SHADOW (1994)
In my opinion, it's hard to go wrong when you populate a movie about a pulp hero with actors like Alec Baldwin, Peter Boyle, Tim Curry, Ian McKellen, James Hong and Jonathan Winters and luckily The Shadow held up my opinions. I'm not all that familiar with pulp heroes, especially the Shadow, but I like the idea of him having a network of people all over the city (usually people he has saved) who help him out. There's all kinds of cool stuff like secret labs and ancient forces of good and evil. Oh and for 30 Rock fans, I highly encourage you to think of these as the early days of Jack Donaghy.

LAST MAN STANDING (1996)
A pretty cool story about a gangster-era hitman (Willis) holing up in a ghost town populated by two rival gangs, gets slowed down with a little too much back and forth back stabbing. I definitely don't remember all the details about this one, but I'm a Willis fan. Michael Imperioli plays pretty much the same role he always does and Walken stars as Willis' main competition and they fight which is cool. Can you imagine Walken fighting now? Aside from a dance fight I mean. Oh, also Walter Hill of Warriors fame directed LMS, so it's gotta be pretty good, right?

FOXY BROWN (1974)
So far my experience with blaxploitation films as been hit or miss, but luckily Foxy is enough of a hit. In the plus column, Pam Grier cuts quite the figure, plus she kicks ass. I also like the idea of a group of inner city dwellers taking the law into their own hands and creating their own kind of police force. I'm not a big fan of the sexual assault stuff, but I guess that's all part of the exploitation riff. Too bad Foxy and Shaft never got together. That would have been a great flick.

LEATHERHEADS (2008)
I'm not sure if I've professed my heterosexual man love for George Clooney on the blog before, but I'm a big fan. I think we'd get along smashingly. I do know that I've talked about how much I like the American Office, so you probably know I'm a John Krasinski fan. So, Leatherheads was a good flick in my book. It doesn't make my top 10 sports movies of all time (well, maybe, I'd have to come up with that list actually), but it's fun and it offered up a look at a period in professional football that I am completely unfamiliar with, so that was cool. Of course, it's a comedy, so I'm not sure how accurate it was, but who cares? Like I said it was fun. Has similar story elements to League of the their Own (which probably would make my top 10 because I'm a huge softy). Not groundbreaking by any means, but worth a watch.

JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH (2008)
I liked Leatherheads more than Journey, but it's not a terrible movie (even if it is very predictable). The special effects bounce back and forth between boderline okay, pretty good and not so great, but the effort is there. I really wish I would have been able to see this bad boy in 3D. I missed out on the phenomenon in the 80s and have gotten a taste for it by watching Superman Returns (ugh) and Nightmare Before Christmas in lame separate the background from the foreground 3D. I can't freaking wait to see My Bloody Valentine 3D!!!

KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE (1988)
Holy crap I loved this movie. Rickey got me a subscription to a horror movie mag called Horror Hound that's not expertly edited, but still offers up tons and tons of horror goodness. One such bit of goodness was a whole feature on Klowns. The movie is just so much freaking over the bigtop fun. I really can't believe that a studio made this movie. Please, do yourself a favor and check it out. Also of interest on the DVD is the Chiodo brothers' home movies from when they were making monster movies as kids. Pretty impressive stuff for pre-teens with a 16mm camera.

VAMPIRE EFFECT (2003)
The combination of Hong Kong action and vampires drew me to this flick pretty quickly on Netflix. Heck, it's even got Jackie Chan in a roll that's more than him just walking on and being called Jackie (which he is). As with a lot of movies like this that I've seen, the special effects and fight scenes are sick, but the story itself is nothing new. I did really like the cool retractable whip/sword weapons they used. I think I designed something very similar what I was younger.

LICENSE TO DRIVE (1988)
If you thought Corey Haim could have been a little bit smoother, though still pretty spazzy in Lost Boys and Corey Fledman from the Burbs could use a little mellowing out, then License to Drive is the perfect 2 Coreys vehicle for you (puns!). Haim fails his driving test, but still tells a young (though still 18 by my math) Heather Graham that he can pick her up. It's basically like an episode of a sitcom, but stretched to 90 minutes and definitely edgier than your average Saved By The Bell. Good stuff. Next up from the Coreys? Dream a Little Dream (which I have absolutely no knowledge of).

LEGEND (1985)
Legend is one of those movies that I don't remember at all, but have since come to find that it's kind of a big deal (to some people). I knew that Tim Curry was in it, but had no idea Tom Cruise was. I thought it might be kind of a funny movie, but when I saw Tom prancing around the forest or whatever I clicked this badboy off and deleted it from my queue. I am no fan of fantasy movies.

JOHNNY BE GOOD (1988)
I'm becoming a pretty big fan of Netflix's recommendations. I started watching Johnny after digging License and wasn't disappointed. It's got an older and more confident Anthony Michael Hall and a completely goofy Robert Downey Jr.. There's a good deal of goofiness to this movie, which focuses on Hall as a football star getting courted by and visiting different colleges that want him. Downey plays his wacky best friend, but what struck me about the movie is how real it can be at times. Hall and Downey sell their characters like they're up for an award. Oh, it's also got Uma Thurman as Hall's girlfriend and Jennifer Tilly has a quick role. If you're an 80s movie fan, or just curious to see what Downey might have been like back in the late 80s give Johnny a look.

AUGUST RUSH (2007)
Sometimes you've got to add a movie for your lady to the ol' queue. I was pleasantly surprised with August Rush, not because the story is all the unique (you've seen the broad strokes before plenty of times), but because of it's view of music. The way they show the young boy experiencing music in everyday life, what it means to him and how he's eventually able to play it in his own unorthodox way really struck me. If you've got to watch a chick flick with your girl and you're a music fan, this is a good choice. Also, Keri Russell is in it and looking good.

KING OF KONG (2007)
If you haven't seen this documentary about the surprisingly competitive world of classic arcade high score competitions, please stop reading and watch it right now. This one makes it into my top 10 movies of 2007 (should a list ever actually exist). First off, it shows off a world I've never seen, which you know I love. Also, that world is full of deceit, greed, cowardice, heroics, villainy, triumph and defeat. The way the story is put together feels like a really well scripted feature film, though the events and the ups and downs are completely real. If you've ever liked anything I've written about on here, watch this movie.

SUPERMAN/DOOMSDAY (2007)
Seeing as how The Death and Return of Superman is the story that got me collecting comics in the first place (and how deeply and utterly I bought into the idea that any of the four subsequent people could be the real Superman), I was very excited when I heard a few years ago that DC/WB was going to make an animated movie about that very event, I was psyched. I figured it probably wouldn't have EVERYthing that made the comic so cool (Superman turning back to save a family instead of finishing Doomsday off, that very 90s JLA facing off against Doomsday, an eyes-swollen-shut Guy Gardner asking his teammate to aim his fist at Doomsday so he could blast it, not to mention the four other "Supermen"), but that it could offer up a cool new look on the idea. And it's definitely a different look. I would have preferred them either go straight with the established look and continuity of the Bruce Timm/Paul Dini-verse or have a drastically different art direction on the project as little things like Superman's cheek lines become distracting. I was also distracted by the different voices for these characters that I recognize from a specific other incarnation that looked very similar but sound completely different. Even at 77 minutes it felt kind of slow, but the fight scenes are pretty great (though they don't hold a candle to JLU). I still hold on to my dream of one day seeing an epic, animated incarnation of the Death and Return of Superman though. A boy can dream, right?

Wild(er) and Crazy Flicks

2009-03-18T14:53:00.000-04:00

2009-01-10 5:19:22 am

One of my favorite aspects of Xbox's watch instantly option is that I can go through every movie offered online and add whatever looks even remotely interesting to my queue. Which is a great way to watch flicks by some classic directors. Within 24 hours, Em and I watched two movies by acclaimed director Billy Wilder (check him out if you've never heard of him, he's probably most famous for Sunset Blvd. which is worth your time). I actually didn't even realize that two movies I had already added were directed by him. I added Seven Year Itch because it's regarded as a classic and Marilyn Monroe's in it. Kiss Me, Stupid grabbed my attention because Dean Martin stars.

I'll start with the movie that was...less good, which is Kiss Me, Stupid. There are two huge problems with this movie. The first is that it's one of those stories where everyone's lying to each other to make things easier and the whole time you're yelling "just tell the truth" at the screen. Of course they never do till the end, because that would be the end of the movie. The other problem is that it's just kind of creepy as the guy who played My Favorite Martian (and was also on Picket Fences) lets stranded crooner Dino (Dean Martin if you couldn't figure out) hit on his pretend wife while he's in the room. It's even worse that Dino does it! It's well acted and all that and they even incorporate some of Dean's actual on stage antics in the movie, but, like I said, there's just too many things taking me out of the movie. Em and I watched it while we took the Christmas decorations down and were both completely weirded out. Skip this one unless you're a HUGE Dean Martin, My Favorite Martian, needlessly confusing story or Billy Wilder fan.

Luckily, The Seven Year Itch was awesome. The story follows a pocket book editor as his wife and kid leave New York City to summer somewhere only to head home and find out that the gorgeous Marilyn Monroe is living in the apartment above him. I've never seen Marilyn Monroe in anything but pictures (speaking of which, this movie has the famous subway/white dress scene (the the full-on image never appears in the flick). I freaking loved this movie. First off, it showed me a time period/practice I've never seen before. I had never heard of wives and kids leaving for the whole summer. Plus, I'm a sucker for anything set in New York City in the past. Next, the acting is fantastic. Marilyn doesn't just seem like the dityz blonde (though she is both), there's still some depth there without getting int he way. Also, the male lead Tom Ewell had some experience with the character as he played him in the original stage version. Even the smaller parts are all great. But what I really like about the story (and the basic story is very interesting as Tom tries, at the same time, to both be with and stay away from his neighbor) is that Tom gets to imagine all these different scenarios that we then see on screen. You know, kind of like Scrubs, but it doesn't make me want to punch someone in the face. I highly recommend this flick.

Now a few general points of interest/thoughts. Just for the record, Wilder wrote and directed both flicks, though he didn't write the play that Kiss is based on. I was surprised by the large amounts of sexuality and innuendo in both movies. I'm not sure if this was something that Wilder specifically dabled in, or if things were a little but more acceptable back then than we think, but there's all kinds of sex bubbling around the surfaces (most obviously in the "will he have an affair" plot of Seven Year Itch). I was also surprised to see that Kiss Me came out nine years AFTER Itch (Kiss is from 1964, Itch 1955). First off because Itch is so much better, but also because Kiss is in black and white while Itch is in color. Just some interesting things.

Next up on my Billy Wilder list? Probably The Apartment from 1960 which stars Jack Lemmon, Shirley MacLaine and Fred MacMurray.

30 Rock and Roll All Night

2009-03-18T14:52:00.000-04:00

2009-01-08 4:31:26 am

I've got to apologize again for my lack of posts. Things have been crazy, but I've been spending most of my free time watching movies and reading comics, so hopefully that will translate into more posts (if I don't fall asleep first).

So, one of the first things I did when I started watching Netflix stuff on Xbox Live was add the first season of 30 Rock. When 30 Rock premiered I wasn't all that into the show, which is strange because most of you know of my love of Saturday Night Live and I also watch The Office and My Name Is Earl which are on the same channel at the same time. I think part of the reason is that I started watching and REALLY liked Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip which is basically SNL on the west coast (as written by Sorkin). So, for whatever reason, it was hardly on my radar and I missed out on most of the first season. But I've been watching it since then and am a huge huge fan (I think it makes me laugh more than The Office now).

The one thing that struck me the most is that I had no idea how the series started. I just assumed it was an SNL-like show with a smaller cast and more dancers and that Liz and Jack were always friendly. Well, that's not the case, as the first episode shows Jack's first day, coming in and changing the Jenna-starring The Girl Show into TGS Featuring Tracey Morgan. Even though the series has been a lot of fun anyway, this made everything make a lot more sense.

There's a lot of great episodes, including the one where Tracey goes on Conan Obrien's show, but my favorite episode of the season has to be the one about Cleveland. As an Ohioan, it's always great to see one of our cities on TV (especially Cleveland where my mom is from and my Grandma still lives). It's what hooked me to the Drew Carey Show too. Anyway, I like that they kind of flip the script and make Cleveland out to be this cool, great place to run away to. The funny thing is that, according to Grandma (mine, not a character on the show) Cleveland and its suburbs used to actually be the hot spot for wealthy New Yorkers to summer at because of Lake Erie and it's relative proximity to NYC. Go figure, huh? It's kind of like hearing how many people went on their honeymoon to Niagra Falls. But anyway, I laughed for pretty much the whole episode and all the rest. If you're a fan of smart comedy, you can't go wrong checking out the first season. Some people say it's a little slow in the first disc, but I'm not one of them. Definitely give it a disc, though, to see if you'll like it. I ended up burning through the whole series in about three days.

Oh, also, I love Tina Fey. She's the cat's pajams as far as I'm concerned.

In the FUTURE: Logan's Run (1976), The Omega Man (1971) & Soylent Green (1973)

2009-03-18T14:51:00.000-04:00

2009-01-02 9:26:41 pm

Man, the 70s must have been kind of a bummer. According to the three post apocalyptic flicks I watched the other day, we'd either be living great lives until we turned 30 and were killed, mostly wiped out by a plague or sleeping on every available staircase and eating processed people. Oh, also, chances were pretty good that Charlton Heston would still be around. He's just awesome like that. I'm a big fan of these kinds of movies and Heston, so this was a good mini marathon for me. Let's hop right in shall we?

LOGAN'S RUN (1976)
After a global holocaust, society has been rebuilt in domed cities where life is pretty good except for the fact that, when you turn 30, he get killed. It's just how society works now. But some people aren't too keen on the idea of entering the Carousel (a weird, anti gravity chamber that whisks the victims up into what seems to be a giant lazer zapper) so they try to run (and are thus called Runners). It's up to the Sandmen to find them and either kill them or...well, we only see them kill Runners. Our hero is Logan, a Sandman (played by Michael Basil a.k.a. Basil from the Austin Powers movies), who gets tasked with a top secret mission to find a place called Sanctuary that supposedly hides Runners. Well, as you can imagine, things don't go quite according to plan.

Logan hooks up with this girl who supposedly has connections to Santuary so the both of them go on this crazy adventure that includes operations to change face (with a sexy Farrah Fawcett), a run down ghetto filled with society's crazies, a frozen wasteland lorded over by a crazy robot and even the outside world.

I really liked how far the creators went with the story. It wasn't just about Sandmen vs. Runners or Logan getting to the outside world. He acts like a true hero and wants to tell the people in the domed city the truth about the outside world (to his own near peril). Plus, this is just a fun world to get a glimpse of with their age coordinated to the color of the clothing they wear to the jewels in their hand that change color with age. The whole concept is very cool and even the 70s cheesiness of some of the scenes (the robot for instance or the model of the futuristic dome city) add more than they detract from the overall enjoyment of the movie.

THE OMEGA MAN (1971)
After watching one interpretation of the future, I figured I'd check out another. This is one of many movies based on the book I Am Legend. From what I've read (I haven't read the book) this is a pretty drastic departure from the book as it starts Heston as a scientist who was immune to a plague that hit mankind and either killed everyone or turned them into super-pale zombie weirdo cultists. The cult members want to kill Heston because they believe he represents the old ways and the old ways lead to the end of the world.

As it turns out though (of course), he's not really the last man on Earth as he comes to find out when he runs into some fellow survivors (including a woman!). Things get really great for a while after Heston develops an antidote for the plague from his own blood, but it doesn't last. Without spoiling anything, the ending is pretty harsh, much worse than I thought it would be.

The scenes of Heston cruising around an abandoned LA are super cool. I'm always a fan of something like this because it's really the kind of special effect you'll never see in real life, a city of that magnitude completely empty (I also love the scenes in 28 Days Later with Jim walking around an empty London). Heston also does a great job of carrying the movie pretty much by himself for the first 20-30 minutes of the movie (not counting the mutants or the bust he talks to). Frankly, I'd watch Heston do just about anything and with the unusual turn of events at the end, this ranks up there are a great flick in my book.

SOYLENT GREEN (1973)

I'll be honest, I wasn't paying really really close attention to Soylent Green. I can't remember what else I was doing though I think it might have been writing a feature for the next issue of ToyFare (available in stores in February!). Anyway, I liked what I saw as Heston (yeah!) investigates a bunch of murders in a crappy feature where people sleep in run down apartments (or the stairs if they're really poor). There's also apartment complexes where the rich live with what can only be described as complimentary prostitutes. It's one of these rich guys that bites it early on, spurring the story on.

There's a lot of plot, most of which leads up to the completely spoiled ending that Soylent Green (a foodstuff sold to the poor) is actually people. I think it was first ruined for me in an SNL skit starring Phil Hartman. Oh well, no grudges held.

There's also a subplot with Heston's older friend and classic actor Edward G. Robinson in what would be his last role. There's all kinds of subtext as the older man spends time with Heston, the only other person who know that Robinson was dying of cancer. In the end it's a pretty dark and grimy film and even though we all know what Soylent Green really is, it's not what the whole movie's about. There's a lot of emotion between Heston and Robinson that becomes all the more palpable when you know the real life history behind the shooting.

I also really like the dingy future. It's definitely not the clean and crisp one of Logan's Run, seeming moor like Escape from New York than anything else, but without all the weird gangs or kind of like Land of the Dead with the merchants and poor people surrounding the palatial high rise. Whereas the streets in Omega Man are completely empty, the ones in Soylent are packed with the dregs of society. It's an interesting difference. Oh, also, the first murder victim's in-house prostitute gets really excited when her john buys her a brand new arcade game (according to the IMDb, it was made by the same guy who would go on to make Pong). It was pretty funny. It's fun to see what people 30 years ago thought the future would be like and how wrong they were. Fun stuff.

All Out Action: Westworld (1973) & Hard Rain (1998)

2009-03-18T14:48:00.002-04:00

2008-12-30 8:44:15 pm

Like I said recently, I've been trying to watch as many movies as I possibly can with the Netflix on XBox option, but I've also had a few Netflix DVDs sitting around (though the Broken Arrow DVD was completely cracked down the center, so that's one less to worry about for now). So, here we go with the reviews.

WESTWORLD (1973)
I distinctly remember watching Westworld with my dad when I was younger, but I apparently didn't remember much but the very basics from the movie. I lucked out and got Em to watch it along with me and it seemed like she liked it well enough (she didn't make fun of me like she did after watching The Warriors so that's a plus). Anyway, I also really dug the movie, probably even moreso because I didn't remember every little part of it.

The basic plot is that there's this resort populated with robots where you can go and live like you're in another time period (Roman Empire, Medieval England or the Wild Wild West). You can basically do whatever you want there (including shooting and having sex with the robots, though, presumably different ones). Our story focuses on two visitors, one played by James Brolin, the other by a guy named Richard Benjamin who looked familiar, but nothing on his IMDb rang any bells. Yul Brenner also starts as the robot Gunslinger who keeps coming after Benjamin. Well, the vacation doesn't go quite as planned as the robots start revolting and SPOILER the Gunslinger kills James Brolin (Em and I both thought he'd be the hero, oh well), sending Benjamin running from the relentless cowboy killer robot.

There's a lot of cool special effects and writer and director Michael Crichton (I had no idea he directed movies) does a great job of selling the story. According the IMDb trivia he got the idea for the story after visiting Disneyland, which was pretty funny to me because it seems pretty familiar to The Stepford Wives, which I read, watched and reviewed recently. The trivia also said that The Gunslinger also inspired John Carpenter to create the greatest slasher in movie history Michael Myers. So, if you're a fan of either of those other movies or just cool sci-fi robot stories starring Jame Brolin and Yul Brenner, then you should definitely check this one out.

HARD RAIN (1998)
I'm not even sure why I put Hard Rain on my queue. It was probably one of those suggested movies that Netlifx does when you add a movie to your queue. Anyway, I wasn't all too excited to watch it when the DVD came in, but I'm really glad I did as this is a fantastic action movie with one of the coolest and best handled natural disaster plots I've seen in a while. Plus, it's got Christian Slater, Morgan Freeman, Randy Quaid, Ed Asner, Betty White and Minnie Driver sporting a pretty bad American accent.

Plotwise you've got Morgan Freeman leading a band of robbers trying to get their hands on the money in Slater and Asner's bank truck in a town in danger of flooding. Meanwhile Quaid and his fellow police officers try to save the townspeople like Driver and White. As the water rises (and boy, does it get up there) so does the tension and a great "anything can happen" feeling. It does get a little crazy at the very end with all kinds of allegiances changing and crosses being doubled, but all that water makes it okay in my book. You've got everything from a boat being driven through a church window to a wave runner chase scene in a high school. It really is just a fun movie that offers up plenty of "how are they going to get out of THIS" situations. I highly HIGHLY recommend this movie to anyone who like fun movies who don't let things like science get in the way of enjoying a movie (in this world, a gun can fire no matter how long it's been under water, so just deal with it okay?).

Netflix & XBox Live Is Awesome

2009-03-18T14:48:00.001-04:00

2008-12-29 2:57:41 am

So, in an unexpected move, my folks got me an XBox 360 for Christmas. I was pretty shocked and I know I'm super out of date with this kind of stuff, but there's a whole lot of cool stuff on XBox live. First and foremost, I'm a huge fan of the ability to watch your online Netflix movies on the TV, especially because neither of our computers can stream the movies for whatever reason. So, yeah, we've been watching all kinds of stuff like National Treasure 2 (love that series, Nic Cage at his best crazy), Hello Dolly (Em wanted to watch it after watching Wall-E again, not bad, but I fell asleep), 30 Rock Season 1 (the show makes a lot more sense when you see episodes from the beginning), Westworld (hopefully I'll get to a review on this soon), a really cool Pixar documentary about their history (highly recommended), a female version of Animal House called H.O.T.S. (completely ridiculous, but still pretty funny. I turned it off about half way through) and 20-30 minutes of Point of No Return which I hope to finish tonight.

A lot of these bad boys expire on December 31/January 1, so I've got a lot of watching to do. Hopefully that will translate into some good posts.

Chuck Norris Double Feature

2009-03-18T14:47:00.000-04:00

2008-12-29 2:42:43 am

Hope everyone had a great Christmas, Hanukkah, etc.

I've got to be honest, the last thing I saw Chuck Norris in was Karate Kommandoes clips I was watching on YouTube a few months ago. Before that it would be Dodge Ball (great cameo), then Walker Texas Ranger episodes and before that, Sidekicks. So, I don't really have a lot of experience with his more action-oriented flicks. I've got to say, I'm none too impressed with my double feature of The Octagon and Code of Silence. So, here goes

THE OCTAGON (1980)
Let me start by telling you all that it took me FOUR DAYS TO WATCH THIS MOVIE. Which is to say that it's not the most thrilled of films. It's also pretty close to incoherent as you're never really sure who Chuck's character really is. He seems to be a law enforcement agent of some kind, but, as far as I can remember, it's never directly stated what kind. From there we get all kinds of ninja attacks (did American audiences not know what ninjas were pre-1980?) that look close to slow motion and Chuck talking to himself in this weird, annoying echoy internal monologue.
This really is a lame movie. Please don't watch it unless you're in a room full of your friends with a few beers. In that case, it would be a grand viewing experience, otherwise, it might take you four days to watch it. That's about 20 minutes a night I'll never get back, sigh...

CODE OF SILENCE (1985)
Luckily, COS was much better, though not really all that good itself. It's good in the sense that it's a crazy, 80s action movie (with a remote control tank of sorts as back up). The basic idea is that Chuck's a good cop who doesn't like how all the other cops are covering for this old cop who shot a kid in cold blood. His friend's kid also gets kidnapped, so Chuck's going after her, but he can't get any help from his fellow officers. So, he's got to go after the bad guys on his own (with the aforementioned tank-thing). There's a pretty cool scene where Chuck holds his own in a bar full of attackers until a dude throws a pool ball at the back of his head. There's not much else past that as far as the martial arts go, but the last scene with Chuck and the tank going after the is classic 80s action (what more would you expect from the guy who directed Above the Law, Under Siege & The Fugitive). COS is way better than Octagon, though it's no where near the martial arts extravaganza that I was hoping for. Also, in the plus column is that Dennis Farina co-stars as a wounded cop (love that guy).

Well, there's not much else to say about these movies. Neither is awesome, even my action movie standards. I was pretty shocked by how slow the fight scenes in Octagon felt. I mean, I didn't expect him to be kneeing people in the face Tony Jaa-style, but even the penultimate fight between him and the masked ninja feels more like a fight from Double Dragon for the NES. Well, at least I didn't buy these movies and I can always watch Chuch fight Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon (it's Return of the Dragon) yeah, that's what I meant (then why did you say Enter the Dragon?). If you don't get the joke watch the original Office already!

Trade Post: The Authority Vol. 1-5 (Plus The Monarchy Vol. 1)

2009-03-18T14:43:00.000-04:00

2008-12-23 4:10:25 am

So, as I'm sure I mentioned before in my post about loving Wildstorm, but I recently re-read Warren Ellis' Stormwatch which naturally leads into The Authority. I'm not going to get too in depth on these reviews.

THE AUTHORITY: RELENTLESS (VOL. 1)
Written by Warren Ellis
Drawn by Bryan Hitch
I really dig what Ellis started here. It's kind of hard to remember reading these books now, but this was one of the first times we ever saw "heroes" take matters into their own hands and change the world how they saw fit to make it a better place. This trade collects two storylines, one introducing the team and pitting them against Kaizen Gamorra and his crazy superpowered kamikaze clones, and the other pitting the team against aliens from an alternate universe. That's a lot of action in one trade. It's also a lot of information, especially when it comes to exactly how the carrier works.
I'm not usually a big fan of Ellis', but he really was dipping into a very cool well of ideas when he was putting this book together. But he doesn't get too wrapped up in the small details as the big ideas are balanced pretty well with big action. I'd recommend this book to pretty much anyone who's not easily offended (I love how, every time Jack Hawksmoore, who may be my new favorite superhero, he knocks their jaw or head clean off, that's awesome). My only negative is that I don't really get what the big deal about Hitch's art is. Yeah, he's pretty good and there's some killer splash pages in there, but I don't understand why people would wait so long for him to finish Ultimates (I have no idea how late, if at all, Authority was when he was drawing it, but I'm still waiting for that last issue of Planetary...). But, again, it's a really great book, which obviously leads into...

THE AUTHORITY: UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT (VOL. 2)
Written by Warren Ellis & Mark Millar
Drawn by Bryan Hitch & Frank Quitely
Warren Ellis' last arc, which featured the creator of the Earth coming back to terraform Earth for his own fiendish purposes. Plus SPOILER, the death of Jenny Sparks (she was the spirit of the 20th century after all). Again, I've got to say how impressed I am by these characters that Ellis created, whether it's Midnighter or the limited Superman in the form of Apollo to The Doctor and The Engineer. So, yeah, Jenny goes out with a bang, which leads to Mark Millar and Frank Quitely's arc, which isn't quite as good.
This is the famous arc that has the Authority facing off against Avengers proxies. The problem is that the story doesn't quite measure up to memory as it seems to take a really long time to get to the point (the Authority kicking the crap out of the Avengers). There's also a pretty big jump between Ellis and Millar's runs where the Authority become celebrities which brings up a point I want to make. In both Ellis and Millar's arcs, things happen that are explained but never shown and it's a little annoying. For instance, why the heck are they so famous now? We're never really told. Is it just because Jenny saved the world? If so, they did that before and we never heard about how the general populace reacted. We're also never really treated to much in the way of origins for The Doctor or the Engineer beyond what we're told. I'm not the kind of reader that needs everything laid out for me, but it would have been nice to see at least a flashback or something at some point.
Anyway, this arc is still pretty cool, as the Authority does eventually kick the crap out of the evil Avengers. Unfortunately, this trade reminds me of why I didn't like Frank Quitely until All-Star Superman. This trade has some of the ugliest faces I've ever seen and not just the ones that are supposed to be ugly, Shen's particularly bad looking. There's still plenty of interesting ideas like the New X-Men-like Hive-Mind, HeadMailing and the Avenger-like group's invisible hideout in the middle of NYC. Volume 2 is definitely worth buying if you liked the first villain and even though Millar's arc doesn't quite match up to Ellis', it's still a valiant effort that fits well within the post-Authority Wilstorm Universe.

THE AUTHORITY: EARTH INFERNO & OTHER STORIES
Written by Mark Millar, Joe Casey, Paul Jenkins & Warren Ellis
Drawn by Frank Quitely, Chris Weston, Cully Hamner & Georges Jeanty
With Volume 3, Millar definitely steps his game up. This arc focuses on the Doctor's drug problems along with a rogue Doctor from the 60s who's wreaking havoc on the Earth (or something, I'll be honest, I didn't quite get it). Wheston handles some of the art chores, which don't even look as good as Quitely's not-quite-there-yet art. But, the story makes up for it as we get to see the scale the Authority is working on (they evacuate the entire planet to alternate universes). I also really like how the Doctor comes back and defeats the old Doctor (this whole thing is kinda like Dr. Who isn't it? I've never seen the show, but, it seems similar).
Anyway, this is another good book and we get our first look at Midnighter out of costume (at least in Authority). Apparently he's blond (but only in this issue, as he appears as a brunette in every other out of costume appearance I've noticed). There's also a few shorter stories here from other writer/artist teams. There's an annual where Midnight and Apollo have to face off against zombie versions of their old Stormwatch teammates, a short story about the Engineer's non existent sex life and one starring Jack Hawksmoor (love that guy). Good stuff.

THE MONARCHY: BULLETS OVER BABYLON (VOL. 1)
Written by Doselle Young
Drawn by John McCrea
Authority #21 was written by Doselle Young as a way of spinning Stormwatch's Jackson King and Christine Trelane off into their own world-changing group The Authority. There's a lot of cool, Authority-like ideas in this book (and the use of Union, one of the few Image characters I have fond memories of as a kid getting comics from a grab bag), but the problem is that this trade only collects the Authority issue and the first four issues of the 12 issue series, so you don't really get to see how things play out. Hopefully DC and Wildstorm will put the rest of the series out at some point. Oh, I also really like John McCrea from his work on Hitman, one of the best in-universe mature reader titles of all time.

THE AUTHORITY: TRANSFER OF POWER (VOL. 4)
Written by Mark Millar & Tom Peyer
Drawn by Dustin Nguyen, Art Adams, Frank Quitely & Gary Erskine
And now presenting the trade where everything goes off the rails. Apparently there were some scheduling problems or something that pushed the stories in this book (half written by Millar, half by Peyer) back and made things screwy. I'm not sure if a regular schedule would have saved things as the Authority are seemingly killed and replaced by a new version of the team. It could really have been a 2-3 issue story, but ended up as eight freaking issues. The book really just seems to be spinning its wheels the whole time. Even art by one of my all time favorite artists Art Adams can't save the issues he drew. I ended up just skimming them, waiting for these new jerks to die and for the Authority to kick some butt, which they eventually do (of course), but it and the marriage of Midnight and Apollo doesn't save this book. Skip this one if you can.

THE AUTHORITY: HARSH REALMS
Written by Robbie Morrison
Drawn by Dwayne Turner & Tan Eng Huat
So, the Authority took some time off, but eventually came back under the stewardship of Robbie Morrison (don't be fooled by the cover, which only cites "Morrison and Turner" as the creative folks, very tricky Wildstorm). This particular volume sets the Authority against Reality Incorporated, a group of jerks who use other realities for their own gain. It's not a very memorable story (I read it over the past two days and still had to go back and see what happened in the issues I didn't read today. It's not bad stuff by any means, but it does make one think that the Authority is the kind of team that should maybe just hang out in limbo until someone has a really cool idea for them.

So, I know I haven't read all things Authority yet, but I did have a lot of fun with the book. I love the characters, especially after this second reading where I've gotten a better idea as to who they are and what they can and can't do. I'd like to check out the rest of the trades, especially the one where they actually take over the world, I'm curious to see how that played out aside from the obvious. I also like how they're being handled now in the post-apocalyptic playground of the current Wildstorm U. They're no longer the "we can do anything we want" team, they've got problems of their own, though I'm not a big fan of Hawksmoor being city-less. Oh well, we're see where things go and if I'm able to snag the rest of the trades.

Trade Post: Abe Sapien The Drowning & Nightwing Freefall

2009-03-18T14:24:00.001-04:00

2008-12-19 8:02:27 pm

A few more trade reviews for your reading pleasure, BAM:

ABE SAPIEN: THE DROWNING VOL. 1 (Dark Horse)
Written by Mike Mignola
Drawn by Jason Shawn Alexander
Like I said the other day, I love the Hellboy-verse and a big part of the world is Abe Sapien. This trade collects the very first Abe mini which also recounts his first Hellboy-less mission back in 1981. Remember how I said that even stories like this that take place in the past refer back to other stories? Well, there's a quick look at Abe's origin, but again, you don't need to know anything about that to enjoy this story. It's really fun trying to work everything out because, while this story came out after the B.P.R.D. trade which explained Abe's past, The Drowning, chronologically speaking, comes before that. I'd like to see a huge Hellboy timeline laying everything out (maybe even with the order you're supposed to read them in).

I've got the same complaint about this trade as the B.P.R.D. Vol. 9, though, in that we don't get treated to a Mignola intro (though there still is the requisite sketchbook). And speaking of the art, Jason Shawn Alexander is awesome. I have no idea what else he's done, but the way he draws the creepy little ghost things with the writing all over them is pretty damn creepy. Well done Jason, someday I'd like to have you contribute to my Green Lantern or eventual horror movie themed sketchbook.

I guess I haven't really talked about the story, so here goes. Abe's on an island looking for a magic spike in a demon, but soon enough these short demon dudes show up and everyone on the island dies! So, it's up to Abe to save the day. I don't want to get too much more into it without giving stuff away, but it's another great Hellboy-verse story that any fan or novice can pick up and love.

NIGHTWING: FREEFALL (DC)
Written by Peter J. Tomasi
Drawn by Rags Morales & Don Kramer
I'm not the biggest Nightwing fan in the world, though I did enjoy most of the Devin Grayson and Chuck Dixon issues I read back in the day. Of course, things haven't been so great in recent memory. But no more! I've been loving former editor Tomasi's run on the book. Tomasi has boiled the character down to his essence, added his own spin and really cemented him in his post-One Year Later setting of New York City. In this book we get to see Dick taking up skydiving, getting a new job and home and trying to track down a villain who's stealing super-corpses. What Tomasi does that I love is, he shows how much a part of the DCU Nightwing really is (remember, he lead the JLA at one point when they were stuck in the past). Not only does Flash (Wally) stop by for a beer, interact with Batman and Robin and confab with Superman on a case, but he also ha the JSA help set up his new pad (they're not too far away, also being located in NYC).

I also have to admit I'm fond of Peter's use of the New York area. I'm not as familiar with the city itself, but I totally geeked out when Nightwing flew under the Bear Mountain Bridge, which I pass every day on my way to work. There's also a few other locations that I think I recognized (hey, I'm still learning). Aside from the locations, I appreciate the writer's creativity and logic when dealing with the superhero world. Nightwing flies around on a 'Wing wing (a kind of jetpack with wings), but he also asked Bruce Wayne to purchase various buildings placed strategically throughout NYC to give him plenty of places to get to if he needs to hid out. Brilliant! Does Batman even do that?

There are a few downsides though. There's a bit of wordiness int he first few pages of the trade explaining how much Dick loves skydiving. It's not poorly written by any means, but it's a little bit dense and I know it turned a few guys at the lunch table off from reading the book (though I convinced them too soon enough). I'm also not sure what's up with Rags' art. I much prefer Don Kramer's work in the book. It's a lot cleaner and crisper and I kind of hope he becomes the regular artist.

So, if you're even a cursory fan of Nightwing or Batman, you should definitely check this trade out as it, in my opinion, greatly represents the character as well as the logical standing he has in the DCU as one of the very first sidekicks who has literally grown up in the superhero world.

Brotherly Love: Step Brothers (2008)

2009-03-18T14:22:00.000-04:00

2008-12-19 4:52:25 am

We had a few DVDs waiting for Em and I to watch from Netflix (which is what happens when I put movies we both want to watch on the queue so close to each other). Wanted was one of them and Step Brothers the other.

I wasn't blow away by this Will Ferrell/John C. Reilly comedy, but it was funny enough to keep me laughing for most of its run time. The story is that the aforementioned man-children come together when their parents (Mary Steenburgen and Richard Jenkins) meet and get married. Will and John don't get off to a very good start, but eventually do. The plot is kind of similar to that of a romantic comedy, but with a lot more swearing, dirty jokes and fake testicles. Yup, watch out for that.

It's only been a day since we watched the movie and I can't really think of too many specific scenes that really made me laugh, but like I said, I laughed most of the time. Will and John have a dynamic that comes off as a lot funnier than their previous collaborations in my opinion. Director Adam McKay who wrote for Saturday Night Live and also directed those awesome web videos starring his daughter Pearl and Will, like The Landlord, which you can check out at the bottom of the page if you haven't already seen. I do remember that I thought Mary Steenburgen was really funny and yet still retained that gentle mom-ness that I remember from Back to the Future 3 and Elf.

I would recommend watching the theatrical version instead of the director's cut for the first time, though, if you're wavering between the two. If you really dig the movie the first time around, maybe give it a shot, but, from what Jim Gibbons, tells me, they kind of go crazy with the improv stuff that goes on for too long. Again, a lot of fun, even if not all that memorable. Now, check out The Landlord:

The Landlord by Will Ferrell

Trade Post: B.P.R.D. 1946 & Catwoman Crime Pays

2009-03-18T14:21:00.001-04:00

2008-12-17 1:37:54 am

Okay, time for another installment of trade post:

B.P.R.D. 1946 Volume 9 (Dark Horse)
Written by Mike Mignola & Joshua Dysart
Drawn by Paul Azaceta
I love me some Hellboy, you guys and, of course, that includes B.P.R.D. I didn't get into the Hellboy-verse until a few years ago, which was pretty good timing because I was able to read all the trades at Wizard and I was able to hop over the long gap when there weren't any new books and Hellboy was spending a few years under the ocean. I'm a big fan of how intricate the history is. There's elements in 1946 that resonate later on, though I can't point all of them out, because it's really hard to keep everything straight in my head. I do like to re-read the books every year or so, but I haven't done that in a while and even right after I do it's hard to remember.

This story follows Hellboy's adoptive pops Trevor Bruttenholm in one of his post-WWII adventures with a group of soldiers in a bombed out Germany. This one's got everything from vampires and werewolves to little girls in white dresses leading the Russian version of the B.P.R.D.

One of the great things about Dark Horse's Hellboy and B.P.R.D. trades is that you can pretty much pick any of them up, understand what's going on and enjoy a great story with a beginning, middle and end. Sure there are smaller elements that you might not pick up on, but might also drive you to check out other books. The other thing I love about these books is that they almost always have extras. Usually that includes an intro by Mignola along with a sketchbook with commentary in the back by Mike and whoever else is drawing the book. Unfortunately, this volume lacks the intro, which usually has Mignola explaining the genesis of the idea (where the mythology came from, that kind of thing). I really like those and was bummed to see there wasn't one. There was, however an Afterward by Dysart explaining his first 1946 meeting with Mignola and the sketchbook.

Oh, one more thing, I really dug Paul Azaceta's art. Like a lot of the non-Mignola or Dan Davis Hellboy/B.P.R.D. it took me a while to get used to his style (what can I say? I'm used to my superhero artists), but Azaceta seems like the perfect artist for this project. I look forward to seeing him on future B.P.R.D. projects almost as much as I'm looking forward to all the other Hellboy-verse books.

CATWOMAN: CRIME PAYS (DC)
Written by Will Pfeifer
Drawn by David Lopez
Catwoman's one of those characters that I have an on-again off-again relationship with. I actually had a subscription to the Jim Balent-drawn version for a year which I dug. I'd also grab whatever crossover issues came out. I completely missed out on Brubaker's relaunch and still want to go back and read it, but I have read a few of Pfeifer's trades, this being, I believe, the second to last of the current run (it's getting canceled right? I'm super behind).

Anyway, this story follows Selina's attempt to start a new life with her baby, then get rid of the baby and finally waking up in her empty apartment which then explodes, leaving Cats on the run in Gotham without her mask or whip. There's a character called The Thief who disappears due to Catwoman's involvement in the Salvation Run storyline which feature supervillains being sent to a crazy planet far far away.

I was actually pretty interested in the Thief storyline and seeing Catwoman stripped of everything and on her own, but it got cut off by the Suicide Squad getting the jump on her and sending her to the prison planet. I wasn't a big fan of the whole Salvation Run storyline, partly because it seemed a bit too close the Marvel's Negative Zone prison (did they even really flesh that out? All things Civil War are a blur thanks to the Civil War Room column), even though it's a pretty sound idea in theory. I don't even know how that mini-series ended and this trade doesn't offer up much insight. You get an issue of Cats wandering around from faction to faction only to end up with Luthor's crew, but then she ends up in this weird world where's practically SuperCat and runs everything. Once she's out, she presumably rejoins the Salvation Run storyline. I feel bad for Pfeifer because it doesn't feel like the Salvation Run stuff was very organic, probably more dropped on his plate. But he handled it well, though the story itself doesn't hold much consequence (even though it's pretty cool).

I've liked Pfeifer's writing in the past, his Aquaman Sub Diego stuff was rad and HERO is one of the coolest books from the past five or six years not yet collected (seriously, what's the deal with that? come on DC, where's my omnibus?!), but for whatever reason Catwoman hasn't really absorbed me yet, though I'll probably grab the next trade when it makes its way into the Wizard office. I also like David Lopez, he's a solid artist with a distinct style that makes him stand out. He seems equally adept at drawing grim and gritty street-level stuff as huge superhero group shots, which he also gets to do in this book.

I can't really recommend Crime Pays to non Catwoman readers. There's a lot going on in this book that's not only connected to past Catwoman continuity, but also a part of DC's last year that seems generally ignored (seriously, I read a ton of DC books, how did the villains get back?). Hopefully the next volume will wrap things up with The Thief (I'm seriously interested in that storyline, as well as what the heck Catwoman's supposed to do with all her stuff gone).

Wanted: My Third Favorite Comic Movie of 2008

2009-03-18T14:20:00.000-04:00

2008-12-16 3:41:04 am

Yup, I said it. Of course Dark Knight and Iron Man were the cat's pajamas, but what movie holds the third spot in my heart for this year? Well, without thinking about it too much (and not doing any real research), Wanted, which I saw for the first time this weekend on DVD easily takes the bronze cake. I also saw Incredible Hulk, which I found to be generally boring and mostly uninspired, and Hellboy II, which Rickey just watched. I share his sentiments and you can check out my comments over there for a few specifics.

Even though I liked Wanted for all of it's action movie craziness, I gotta say, I'm not a fan of the comic. I'm not a big fan of the idea of raping various women showing how much of a bad ass you are. We get it already, he's not held by society's rules. Plus, I found the end of the comic to be pretty dull, even though we were kind of influenced by it for the recent Secret Invasion TTT over in ToyFare.

Fun fact for those of you who might not know already, the screenwriters actually started writing the script after the first issue came out, but before the rest of the issues. They apparently came up with a lot of the same themes and plot points which I found very interesting. If you're interested in hearing them talk about their experiences writing the script check out the interview done with them on the Creative Screenwriting Magazine podcast via iTunes (I've enjoyed a lot of the podcast interviews on there). Anyway, that explains the differences in the plot, which include them not being supervillains among other things.

So, what I liked about the movie is that they just kind of went crazy with it. I'm not sure how I feel about the whole "loom of fate" idea, but whatever, it's just a goofy plot point that didn't bother or intrigue me, it just kind of sat there. I've always been a fan of stories where it turns out that a normal dude is actually really special (and in this case a born assassin) and Jame McAvoy plays the roll very well, going from schlub to annoying new guy to total badass (how can you not love the scene where he tells off his boss?). But beyond that, I also really like just how good these assassins are at their craft. They're not just good enough to shoot a dude from what looks like hundreds of city blocks away, but they can flip one car over another and shoot a dude through the sun roof. It's just a lot of fun and I had fun watching it.

Of course, it's not a perfect movie. It would have been cool to see them as villains, but hey that's just my inner geek talking. There's also a scene where James is chasing this dude who he thinks killed his dad and out of nowhere all of the other assassins that we know (Common, Angelina Jolie, a few others, but not Morgan Freeman) and things just go crazy. Why were they there? I really didn't get that and I don't think that it got explained even with the twist ending (which I was expecting, but Em even called it before the reveal). I also thought the twist got a little confusing. If he did what McAvoy says he did, then who's to say he wasn't lying about the other ones? That will make sense, if you've seen the movie and you're thinking of the library scene towards the end of the movie. Oh, also, McAvoy's assault at the end is freaking sweet even if I'm still not quite sure how he got them to explode.

I guess I should comment on the other stars. Morgan Freeman definitely elevates what's probably not a very good role on paper (as you'd expect). Common's pretty cool as the Gunsmith. I think this is the first movie I've seen him in. I wouldn't mind seeing him as Green Lantern John Stewart, as he was potentially cast in the Justice League movie. And then of course there's Angelina Jolie. She's one of those actresses that I'm not a big fan of until I actually see her in something. I've got this kind of mental block about her (probably because I don't like the person I see on TV and whatnot), but then I think about Hackers and Gone in 60 Seconds and I dig those movies, so I guess I like her.

So, in the end, congrats to Wanted for getting my coveted (heh, who am I kidding?) third place in my 2008 comic book movie list (I'm sure I'm missing something, but maybe not). But watch out, I still haven't seen Punisher: War Zone, which I'm hoping will fill the same kind of niche (I love Dolph's original and it looks like WZ follows in its footsteps pretty well, though without the Shakespeare-quoting drunk bum).

Trade Post: Swamp Thing, Fourth World, Scalped and Wonder Woman

2009-03-18T14:19:00.000-04:00

2008-12-11 5:32:55 am

Doesn't look like things will be letting up any time soon and seeing as I've been falling asleep pretty early these days, I haven't been able to watch many movies. I will get around to the second part of that Thanksgiving weekend round-up though, because I want to get to my Squirm and Return to Sleepaway Camp (love that movie!). But, I've got some time now and I've been doing some trade reading so here we go.

SCALPED: DEAD MOTHERS (VOL. 3) (Vertigo/DC)
Written by Jason Aaron, Drawn by John Paul Leon, R.M. Guera & Davide Furno
Scalped is one of those books that I got to late in the game and have yet to actually catch up to the monthly issues, so I'm mostly grabbing the trades from the library as they come out. I dig the story for the most part, especially because it takes me to a world that I'm otherwise unfamiliar with in the form of an Native American reservation. Plus, there's all kinds of action and intrigue and some great names (I especially like our main character's Dashiell Bad Horse).

This particular trade focuses mainly on Dashiell working on a dead hooker case because he promised her son that he would while others investigate his own mother's death. There's obviously a lot of history between Dash and pretty much everyone else on the reservation and Aaron does a good job of giving just enough details as we read to keep us from getting completely lost but also not overwhelming the reader with needles detail. It's a harder balance to achieve than you might think. I also like how the villain of the story, Lincoln Red Crow (the guy that Dash, an undercover agent is trying to pin a murder on) is more interested in finding his mother's killer (they used to be lovers) than Dash himself. But even he's got problems of his own as various outside forces are trying to push and pull him and the casino he runs.

Really, that's what I like about the series as a whole: there's a lot going on, but not too much. Aaron's got a great sense of pacing and knows when to throw in some kick ass action scenes to balance all the other personal aspects of the book. I'm really curious to see where the series goes (they introduced a new character in the form of honest reservation cop Franklin Falls Down who seems like he'll have a lot of potential). I'm also looking forward to seeing how Aaron writes a long form story like this one. I'm not sure if there's an end point in mind that he's working towards, but I've only read a handful of his other books, some I liked, some I didn't, so I hope he ends this one with a bang.

SWAMP THING: LOVE AND DEATH (DC)
Written by Alan Moore, Drawn by Stephen Bissette, John Totleben & Shawn McManus
This is the second Swamp Thing trade collecting Alan Moore's run on the book that helped launch his career and shoot comics to whole new levels. To me, it's one of the last few epic comic runs that I haven't read yet, so I'm glad to finally get to it (though I don't have any more of the trades, so we'll see how that goes), which is too bad because I really dug this book and am curious to see where it goes.

Most of the trade follows the developing relationship between Swamp Thing and Abigale including her short-lived death. There are all kinds of horror elements bouncing around these pages, including Swamp Thing's visit to the afterlife which boasts guest spots by Etrigan, Phantom Stranger, Deadman and the Spectre. I really like how firmly Swamp Thing takes place in the DCU, proving that you can do Vertigo type stories in the same world that Superman flies around in (Sandman also did this on a few occasions).

I've also got to mention the semi sex scene between Swamp Thing and Abigale at the end of the last issue. It's not as gross as it might sound as Abby eats a fruit that Swamp Thing grows from his chest and then they go on a super-trippy ride that we become voyeurs to.

But I didn't like everything about this collection. There's a story called "Pog" which featured some tiny cartoon-like aliens landing on Earth hoping to find a new home to call their own. The story itself is interesting, but the problem is the dialogue. These aliens talk different, making up words that seem and sound an awful lot like English, but took me way too long to read as my brain kept trying to read the words I'm used to. Props to Alan for coming up with this new language, but it drove me a little crazy. Oh well. I'm probably going to ditch these trades in favor of the hardcovers they're putting out shortly (or is it out yet? I dunno).

DIANA PRINCE WONDER WOMAN VOL. 2 (DC)
Written & drawn by Mike Sekowsky
Man, I love these swinging Wonder Woman issues, each one is like a Roger Corman movie starring my favorite Star Spangled Amazon (missing her stars of course). For those of you who may not know, these Diana Prince tales follow Wonder Woman around after losing her powers and becoming a kung-fu boutique owner hanging out with blind martial arts master I Ching.

This volume not only collects Wonder Woman issues, but also a Superman's Girlfriend Lois Lane issue in which the constantly swooning Lois gets jealous of Superman spending so much time with Wonder Woman who appears to have regained her powers. There's even this hilarious scene where Wonder Woman takes Superman to a club and he starts dancing so intensely that he almost sets the floor on fire, after which he thinks to himself: "Did I goof! I can't forget myself for an instant! That's the trouble with being super! I can't relax like ordinary people!" I don't want to ruin the ending, but it's your average cheesy silver age stuff (which is pretty different than the rest of the trade, because this particular story was written by Robert Kanigher).

There's also an issue of Brave and the Bold with Wonder Woman and I Ching in another country (though I don't think they ever say which one) in which a big car race is happening. It just so happens that Bruce Wayne is also there racing along with some bad dude (his name's not really important). Well, the bad dude tries to kill Bruce because he's such a good driver so Bruce calls Gotham and gets his buddy Batman to come race for him. There's actual panels with Batman driving and his cape shooting out behind him flapping in the wind. I had literally just watched a Roger Corman movie with similar themes that I had just watched (Young Racers). Man, that movie was boring (hey, look, a movie review!), but this comic is great.

The rest of the trade involves the return of Dr. Cyber along with an adventure to Hong Kong and the addition of a new young lady who Diana saves from THEM (always written in big red block letters) and then gives a job in her boutique. I really love how the series bounces around from somewhat typical superhero stuff to all kinds of other genres without missing a beat. There's also something fun about seeing Wonder Woman mingling with Superman and Batman even back in the late 60s/early 70s. These are great books for anyone even remotely interested in Wonder Woman or movies and TV from that time period, these are the books for you.

JACK KIRBY'S FOURTH WORLD OMNIBUS (VOL. 4)
Written & drawn by Jack Kirby
I've had a very on again off again relationship with these New Gods Omnibi (Ominbuses?). Sometimes I'll get really into them but then I'll put the book down for weeks or even months at a time, which was the case with this, the last in series. The main reason is that, for reasons that are probably explained in the intro by Mark Evanier that I haven't read yet, Jack's books weren't doing so well and were canned, which means this book collects the last issues of The Forever People (which I liked a lot more than I thought I would), New Gods (my personal favorite of the ongoings) and then a bunch of Mr. Miracle issues (it lasted longer than the others), the new stories Jack created for the reprints and finally the Hunger Dogs graphic novel. The problem is that it's like watching a TV show that you know doesn't have a real ending, one that got canceled before it's time; all the pieces are good, but you're not sure about the pay off.

I read the FP and NG issues completely but ended up skimming the Mr. Miracle stuff as it wasn't really my favorite of the books. I did enjoy the final two stories though, because it felt like Jack was finally able to tell the story that he intended to tell years before. But, man, just think of how cool it would have been to see Jack get to do his thing for real. It's too bad because it feels like that's a huge missed opportunity, a story only preserved in the library of unwritten books. Oh well, I really like Hunger Dogs, especially the big huge collage spread that Jack did in the middle of it. Check it out and see how many Star Wars pictures you can find (I spotted the rear end of a Star Destroyer first).

Anyway, there's a pretty interested ending to Hunger Dogs that I'm not really sure how it was resolved later on when the New Gods re-entered the DCU. I did have a basic history explained to me by Rickey. He said that, basically, Jack created the New Gods, but after he left they just kind of sat around and no one used them until the Super Powers cartoon came along and was looking for a villain. They dug up Darkseid and he's been a dominating force of evil in the DCU ever since. For someone who's been reading comics since the early 90s, it's pretty crazy to think that there was a time when Darkseid and the rest of the New Gods weren't a big deal.

And finally, if you're like I was when I first started reading these books and think that these older stories don't really offer up much to a modern, more sophisticated reader, give them a try. Sean Collins helped me realize what I liked about these stories even when I wasn't quite sure if I actually liked them. The true art isn't in the words (the dialogue boxes are pretty easily skipped for the most part in my opinion), but in the art and the emotions and gut punches that Kirby is able to convey with his trademark pencils. Plus, if you can't find a certain amount of giddy joy in tracing the lines of a Kirby machine, I feel bad for you.

Okay, that's it for now. Hopefully I'll get another post in this week, but I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you (seriously, that'd be crazy).

Uncaged: Con Air (1997) and The Rock (1996)

2009-03-18T14:18:00.000-04:00

2008-12-05 5:05:25 am

I recently switched from Blockbuster to Netflix as it was taking way too freaking long for me to get my DVDs (five days at times, even when I turned them in at the store, ugh). As a result I sat here switching my queue over and moving things around. I gotta say, I like the Netflix site a lot more. It's way more user friendly and I actually like a lot of their movie suggestions. All of which I'm telling you to let you in on how I inadvertently ended up with two crazy, Nic Cage action movies from the mid 90s. I had never seen Con Air before and it's been about a decade since I saw The Rock, so it was practically like watching it again for the first time.

CON AIR (1997)
What a great and crazy movie. Like with The Rock, I don't really buy into one of the initial plot points. In this case its the idea that a military man just home from a tour of duty (or something, I'm not always clear on the jargon) kills a dude in a fight, a dude with a knife near Cage's pregnant girlfriend no less. According to the brief court scene, soldiers are held to a higher standard because they're killing machines. Sorry folks, I don't buy it. Isn't that plain old self defense? Anyway, aside from that (and Cage's ridiculous accent throughout the film), I bought in. You see, Cage is done with his five year sentence and just wants to get home to his girl and their kid, so they put him on a plane (why was he so far away from home anyway?) with a bunch of other cons to fly them someplace else. Once in the air, the prisoners take over the plane in a pretty ingenious multi-part plan and we go on from there.

The first thing that struck me about Con Air is the cast. Aside from Cage, you've got John Cusak as a cop of some kind, John Malkovich as the mastermind behind the hijack, Dave Chapelle, Danny Trejo (the best interview I've ever had) and Ving Rhames as cons and Steve Buscemi as a sociopath serial killer. The characters aren't all that well rounded, but the actors really sell their parts, offering up some of the creepiest cons in recent memory. Even Cusak, who I love in High Fidelity, Grosse Point Blanke and even 1401, is believable in the roll as an action-faring blockbuster cop, who would have thought?

There are all kind of groan worthy aspects to this flick, but I'll take all of them in exchange for a crazy balls-out action flick that pays off in big names, big explosions and big plots. The final scene takes place in the middle of Las Vegas, first as a plane crash, then as a chase between a fire truck and two motorcycles. One aspect of the movie that was too much, though, was Colm Meaney's "disbelieving tough guy cop." In a movie filled with otherwise compelling (if not likeable) characters, Colm's character just comes off as a boring, one note pain in the butt whose role should have either been rewritten or toned WAY down. It is cool to see his car come to its end, though.

One last thing, I just looked director Simon West up on IMDb and was horrifying to discover he's the man responsible for subjecting me to the When A Stranger Calls remake. Well, to be fair, I'm responsible for subjecting Ben, Rickey and myself to a pretty awful movie, but who's counting? It was by birthday after all!

THE ROCK (1996)
Like I said, I'd seen The Rock before, but had very little memory of it, which is great because this movie turned out to be a great surprise. I had a ton of fun watching The Rock, even though I was a little worried about it's long running time (I have gotten pretty lazy, going so far as to sending Armageddon back without watching it because of its 2 and a half hour running time). Regardless, I am officially a huge Michael Bay fan, so of me what you will, even given what I think was a fairly weak plot point. My biggest problem with the story is that I don't really buy that Ed Harris' character would at any point believe his plan would work. If he's not willing to actually kill a bunch of civilians, why would the government do anything by completely annihilate the island? Oh well.

The island in question is of course Alcatraz, the famous island prison which has fascinated me since I first saw it on some long forgotten show when I was a kid. There's always been a great sense of history and mystery surrounding that place so I'm pretty much down with any movie or comic being set there (I'm also a big fan the Mythbusters where they test to see if prisoners could have really escaped from The Rock). I am also a big Sean Connery fan, though who isn't? Seeing how great he is in this movie makes me wish he'd come back and do a role or two. In the flick he plays the only man to have ever escaped from Alcatraz. he gets teamed with chemical weapons expert Nic Cage to stop Harris and his hired soldiers (one of whom is Candyman) from firing off a series of missles with highly toxic bioweapons inside, which means they've got to break back into Alcatraz.

If there's one thing Bay knows, it's how to make an awesome movie. This one's got everything from chase scenes to bad ass lines to bigger than life characters and cushion clenching suspense. It really makes me wonder what happened to Cage, though. If nothing else, these two movies reminded me of how much fun he used to be to watch on screen. Maybe it's that I used to feel like we were both on the same page (these are goofy fun movies and he's having a goofy fun time doing it), but somewhere along the line he turned into the guy who would star in Ghost Rider. Yeesh. I've also heard some pretty terrible things about Wicker Man and really want to watch it after seeing this Best Scenes from The Wicker Man YouTube video:

Crazy right? Well, I can always go back and watch Con Air and The Rock, both of which looked super awesome on the new TV (I really love this thing). But, hey, maybe John Carpetner's upcoming Cage starrer Riot will bring him back to action movie prominence (I sure hope so).

Halloween Sccene: Halloween The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)

2009-03-18T14:13:00.002-04:00

2008-12-03 4:31:42 am

Wow. Faithful readers will remember that I was pleasantly surprised watching the Halloween sequels by how much I liked them. Well, that all changed with the fifth. The best part about Curse is Paul Rudd, an actor I love in his comedic rolls (Wet Hot American Summer, Knocked Up, Friends, etc.). Rudd plays Tommy Doyle who you may remember as the kid Laurie's babysitting in the original flick. Well, now he's a melodramatic college student obsessed with Michael Myers. Rudd jumps into the role with an intensity that gives Donald Sutherland's Loomis a run for his money. Seriously though, as bad as the movie is, it's kind of worth it just to watch Rudd.

Of course, that might not be enough for most people and I don't blame 'em as there's all kinds of craziness going on. First off (not chronologically, of course, just the first thing to pop into my head as I watched this movie over a week ago), the Myers house is being lived in by Laurie Strode's adoptive family the Strodes. Now, this is incredibly frustrating on a few levels. First off, it looks absolutely nothing like the house. It's the wrong shape, the wrong color, the rooms are different, the basement is different and the yard is the wrong shape. Maybe you're average viewer wouldn't notice something like that, but your average Halloween fan will. Oh, also, the Strodes appear to have no knowledge of Michael Myers and the dad is a complete jerk. He's close to unbearable to watch.

Really, the only reason they're in the movie is to have some weird connection to Laurie, oh yeah and their daughter has a kid who has some unexplained connection to Michael which leads him to wander over towards the killer at times. What?! It makes no sense and the only purpose it serves is to get his mom closer to Michael.

So what's the plot? To be honest I'm not all the way sure. In the beginning you've got Michael's pregnant niece Jamie as a teenager. Some weird dudes in robes kidnap her and force her to give birth in their weird warehouse place. Jamie eventually escapes with her baby but dies. Somehow (I can't really remember, to be honest) Paul Rudd winds up with the baby. Meanwhile, Loomis is on the hunt as Michael starts attacking again, older and crazier than ever. Loomis is dealing with a doctor (played by Greg's dad from Dharma and Greg) who SPOILER turns out to be head of the cult.

We also find out that Michael appears to be related to some kind of druid curse, which is an element I actually liked as it's a fairly creative use of what's been laid down before it and makes sense (like a Geoff Johns comic). Anyway, it gets fumbled by the poor directing. The whole movie looks like it was made for TV instead of the big screen (which may have been the case as I don't really remember seeing ads for this movie in 1995, but hey, my memory sucks).

Meanwhile, the rest of the movie gets pretty well fumbled as there's no real ending (apparently Sutherland passed away during filming and they didn't really have an ending so they just threw something together, ugh). Michael does way too much corpse-posing which is an element I appreciated in the early films, but after watching 6 or so Friday the 13th movies, it's getting old. That added to the poor choice for the Myers house and the general lack of likable characters and a coherent plot really make this a disappointing finale to the original Halloween series. I'm still waiting to watch H2O and Resurrection (or whatever it's called), but I'm not really looking forward to them which is why I'm taking a bit of a horror break to watch some (hopefully) good action movies.

Halloween Scene: Turkey Day Round Up Part 1

2009-03-18T14:12:00.000-04:00

2008-12-02 10:10:24 pm

Hey gang, hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving break. My apologies again for my lack of updates these past few weeks. Whatever staying-up-late stamina I had must have been completely spent in October. But, over the Thanksgiving break, Rickey, Em and I went to visit her parents in New Hampshire where they have FearNet and movies on demand so Rickey and I spent every evening watching as many horror movies as we could. Hopefully this long post with reviews will make up for some of my lack of posting.

WAXWORK (1988)
So, after working most of the day, waiting for Rickey to come up (traffic was pretty bad between him and us) and the four hour drive from our place to Em's parent's house, we were understandably tired. But that didn't stop Rickey and I from attempting to watch our first horror movie of the weekend and boy did we choose a doozy. Waxwork is about a bunch of kids who decide it's a good idea to go to a wax museum that pops up in their neighborhood one day. Actually, there's a pretty funny scene where two of their group decide it's a bad idea and bounce. I loved that scene. It reminded me of what I would do in that situation. "You want to go into a stranger's wax museum even though we have no idea who he is or whether the wax figures will come to life and kill us? No thanks, I'm good."

In actuality the movie is a bit more creative than that as the kids get sucked into whatever kind of scene the wax figures represent. So, when the girl approaches the vampire set, she's transported to a creepy castle where she's forced to eat what looks like cranberry surprise. And then...

Okay, we didn't get any further than this scene. We were both tired and bored by this point and I'm pretty sure we both fell asleep while watching it. The only other interesting piece of info is that Zach Galligan, of Gremlins fame, stars as a spoiled rich kid. The funny thing is is that Rickey and I are both avid readers of Horror Movie a Day and it turns out that he watched the movie too, though he actually finished it. Sounds like it actually got kind of cool towards the end. Oh well, the on demand stuff saves your progress in the film for 24 hours, but by then we were watching...

CHRISTMAS EVIL (a.k.a. You Better Watch Out, a.k.a. Terror in Toyland) (1980)
And boy, what a stinker. After a long day of being terrorized, uh, I mean spending Thanksgiving with Em's family, we came back and everyone eventually went to bed so we decided to get ready for Christmas by watching a movie about a dude dressed as Santa killing people. According to my beloved Creature Features, this is the first incident of such a film and it is not a good one. The whole plot revolves around this dude who saw his parents not really doing anything sexual (they were barely touching and fully clothed while pops was dressed as Santa) who now sleeps in Santa PJs, works in a toy factory and keeps tabs on the neighborhood kids to see who's naughty and nice. That's a big chunk of the movie.

I think we both fell asleep at about the same time Thursday night. The next evening we figured we didn't have too much time left and put the boring flick back on. It's actually kind of interesting in the last 15 minutes. If you feel compelled to watch this movie, do so from that point on and you'll get the gist of it. Once the killings finally start happening (on the steps of a church with the jerkiest, most apathetic clergy I've ever seen), the movie doesn't really pick up as our killer finds himself back at his company Christmas party celebrating with the people who were earlier making fun of him. It really doesn't make any sense. Oh, there's also a scene where Santa scares a kid by hiding in the bushes in his bright red suit. In true horror movie fashion, the kid's mom doesn't investigate her son's accusations of a man in the bushes and just gives them a quizzical look before driving off.

But the best part of the movie is the very end where Santa runs into some kids who he then uses as human shields once the parents get a look at him. By this point, we've already seen some Santas in a line-up, so you know the police are on the case. The problem is, how do these people know this Santa is the killer? One dude is so convinced that he pulls a switchblade on Santa. Santa gets away which leads to a Frankenstein-like mob with torches and everything chasing Santa through the street. He just barely escapes into his chimo van with a sleigh and reindeer painted on it (how the cops weren't able to track this down after the church murders while it was just sitting outside the office party, I'll never know). He heads over to his brothers house, where his brother almost chokes him to death, but he gets up and hops back into the chimo van just in time for the torch-carrying mob to catch up, causing him to swerve off of a bridge and...fly off into the sky Grease-style. I guess there's some discussion about whether he survives or not, seeing as how you can hear a car crash sound at the same time as the van flies away. I don't really care either way because this movie's not good, but the image of that van flying away is just great. Rickey took a picture with his iPhone and it's awesome. So, after finishing Christmas Evil on Thursday we watched an actual good movie called...

MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN (2008)
Which I had thought was a Clive Barker movie ever since I first heard about it, but it turns out it's based on one of his stories. Anyway, some of you who are more into the goings on of the horror industry know that Lionsgate kind of buried this movie by giving it a limited release in cheap theaters only, which I've never actually heard of before. I was really surprised when I first heard this and still thought it was a Clive Barker movie, but I was still surprised after watching it because the cast is fairly well known, though less in the star power vein and more in the "hey, it's that guy from that thing" way. You've got Bradley Cooper who will always hold a special place in my heart for his involvement in Wedding Crashes, Vinnie Jones who's just awesome, Brooke Shields (?!), Ted Raimi and Leslie Bibb who played the reported who tried to corner Tony Stark in Iron Man (and then slept with him). With the right advertising and one of those annoying "from the creator of Hellraiser/Nightbreed/Lord of Illusion/half my nightmares" things, I don't see why MMT couldn't have had a fairly successful run in theaters. I understand the whole concept of studios wanting to make money on valid properties, but how the heck did Saw become a valid property? Someone needs to give another new franchise a chance. Gimme Trick r Treat already!

Anyway, I didn't fall in love with MMT, but I did really like it. Cooper plays a photographer who's trying to capture the real, raw underbelly of late night New York. While doing this he comes across a man (Jones) who he thinks killed a model he photographed the night before. As he slips further and further into obsession (following Jones at all hours of the night and showing up at his job as a butcher), Cooper's girlfriend, Bibb, gets more and more concerned for him. From here on out, I'll be in SPOILER territory.

So, as you can imagine this being a work based on Clive Barker, this movie doesn't just lie in the real world, though there are plenty of real world scares. Jones is pretty terrifying as the killer. He's already a huge dude, but by making him a huge silent guy in a crisp suit with a meat hook and a huge metal meat mallet, man, he's just creepy. As Rickey pointed out, he doesn't even need a mask like your typical slasher. And Cooper as the obsessed photographer really kills it, especially because it turns out that he's right, but no one will listen to him. That's one of my big fears in life, to know what's really going on but not having anyone listen to you. Plus, there's some real nail biters with Cooper getting way too close to Jones.

Like I said, the ending comes with some unearthly elements as it turns out that Jones isn't exactly what he seems to be (even though he does murder people, remove their clothes and leave them hanging naked in a car of the subway. I don't want to ruin it all, but it's definitely worth checking out for fans of any of the above actors (though Shields only appears as a photo critic), Barker or horror.

Uncharacteristically, Rickey and I weren't done with horror movies so we moved on to...

PUMPKINHEAD (1988)
I'd actually watched Pumpkinhead before at Em's parents' place so I wasn't really paying attention. Lance Henriksen stars in this Stan Winston-directed flick in which SPOILER WARNING Henriksen's son gets killed by a dude on a dirt bike (it's okay to laugh, it's kind of silly) and then finds a witch who brings a vengeance monster called Pumpkinhead to life so it can kill the killer and his friends. That brief summary doesn't really do the movie, which is actually pretty interesting, justice. There's a lot more to this whole thing than just a revenge plot, as Henriksen grows to regret his decision and tries to actually stop Pumpkinhead. There's really a lot going on and Winston did a great job with the movie, it's too bad he didn't direct more movies. And, of course, you can't talk about a Stan Winston movie without talking about the creature effects. Pumpkinhead does look an awful lot like an alien, but it's a really cool design, though I'm not really sure why they bother calling him Pumpkinhead (he looks nothing like a Pumpkin, though his grave is surrounded by pumpkins. Like I said I wasn't paying a lot of attention, but the movie doesn't really end like you might expect and is definitely a fun one to check out.

Okay, that's enough for today. Check back tomorrow for the second and final part!

Last Weekend Roundup

2009-03-18T14:10:00.001-04:00

2008-11-24 4:58:28 am

Whew, it's been a busy few weeks. I was pretty exhausted for most of last week, but Em and I did watch a bunch of movies last Sunday to celebrate the new TV. Instead of watching special effects heavy movies like Iron Man or Transformers we went in the opposite direction and watched a pair of romantic comedies. Not exactly my usual, but I did enjoy both flicks.

The first was a movie that had been sitting near our TV for a few weeks along with Drop Dead Gorgeous which Em borrowed from her friend Lee (hey Lee). It's called The Sweetest Thing (2002) and stars Cameron Diaz, Christina Applegate, Selma Blair, Jason Bateman and The Punisher, er, Tom Jane. I'll be honest, it's been over a week and my memory's definitely fuzzy, but basically Diaz falls for Tom Jane in a club and then tries to go after him at what she thinks is her brother's (Bateman) but is really Jane's. Plot-wise, it's a pretty standard romantic comedy, but it's the flourishes that make this a pretty good flick. Diaz and Applegate have some pretty over the top scenes and they often sneak into annoying territory with their catch phrases and Diaz's mugging for the camera. But all in all, if you've got to watch a RomCom, it's a pretty good one.

We also checked out Run Fatboy Run (2007) which also falls into the romantic comedy genre and follows a lot of the standard tropes, but I'm a big Simon Pegg fan and David Schwimmer did a great job directing him, Hank Azaria and Thandie Newton. Pegg plays a dude who ran out on his pregnant fiance (Newton) on their wedding day. Now it's five years later, they've got a kid, he works as a security guard at a clothing store where he runs down bra-stealing trannies and Newton's dating the super succesful Azaria who likes to run marathons. Pegg realizes how big of a mistake he made and now wants to made good by showing people (mostly her, his kid and himself) that he can run a marathon in England (where he lives).

What I do like about RFR is that, even though it is kind of paint by numbers, Schwimmer uses a few different colors than you might expect. Like a lot of other RomComs, we see that Azaria's maybe not the greatest guy and we do feel good when Newton finally realizes this. But, and this is a SPOILER at the end, after Azaria's out of the picture and Pegg's proven he's a good dude, it's not like he and Newton just fall in love again. I appreciate that.

So far, I haven't seen Pegg in anything that I didn't like, except for the flick that he co-starred with Schwimmer in called Big Nothing which really didn't do anything for me. He's even the reason I'm looking forward to Star Trek, though now that I've seen the previews, that movie is really making me want to see it, so kudos to the marketing team.

Yeah, I know romantic comedies probably aren't what you expected to read about in this first post after a slow week, but I'm trying to catch up on what I read and watched over the week. Until next time...

What I'm Thankful For: My Parents (and TV!)

2009-03-18T14:09:00.000-04:00

2008-11-20 12:17:57 am

Okay, so one of the reasons that I haven't been posting as much the past five days or so is because my parents came in for a visit on Friday and left Sunday. I had asked my dad to root through the boxes in their basement and bring some of my oldest action figures and he responded in spaces with boxes full of He-Man, Batman, Silverhawks, Star Wars, Ghostbusters and plenty of other random toys from my childhood. So, first of all, a huge thanks for that, Dad's awesome.

But that's not all, for not real reason, Mom and Dad also took Em and I to Best Buy where they treated us to a brand new flat screen TV as well as a new DVD/VCR player (which is great, because, as regular readers know, I've been watching DVDs on my PS2 and our old TV SUCKED). So, again, they're awesome and not just because they bring and buy me/us stuff. This isn't really the forum to get into all the great things they've done, but, according to Rickey, they've got to be in the top 3 sets of parents of all time. I've got to agree.

The TV is freaking mind blowingly awesome. After setting it up we watched Kung Fu Panda and it looked AMAZING. I kept giggling throughout the movie because it looked so good. I was astonished both by the quality and my parents' generosity. Aside from all that, though, the movie is awesome. The voice acting is spot on (Jack Black, Jackie Chan, Seth Rogen, David Cross even Angelina Jolie and more) and the action scenes are SICK. It's great to see filmmakers who realize you can do all kinds of things with CGI and not be shackled down by the physical world that real movies are. It's also just a lot of fun, Jack Black's funny without being TOO Blackian. I recommend everyone check it out.

I ended up staying up late after everyone else went to bed just to watch Friday the 13th 5 (I wanted to see how it looked on the new TV), there will be a Halloween Scene review soon. I wasn't quite tired after that, still, so I popped Star Wars Battlefront II into the PS2 and had some fun with that for a while, but I wasn't quite done so I watched some TV just to see how it looked. I eventually tapped out around 3.

On Saturday Dad and I watched college football, bouncing between the Notre Dame game (my team) and his team, Ohio State. But we weren't just sitting there as Dad and I (but mostly him) built these frames with shrink wrap on them to place in our windows to help keep the cold out this winter. Meanwhile Mom and Em made Christmas cookies all day. And mind you, they got in around 5 on Friday and took of Sunday morning. I think Rickey's right (though I've known this for a while), they're the best. Thanks a lot Mom and Dad!

Halloween Scene: The Substitute (2007) & Pulse 2 (2008)

2009-03-18T14:05:00.001-04:00

2008-11-18 2:21:23 am

A few weeks (maybe months now) I raided the pile of new DVDs we get in the office and grabbed most of the horror movies. The Ghost House Underground flicks were on that pile, which I was pretty excited about, but I also grabbed some movies I didn't really know anything about. The other day I watched one of each and I was pleasantly surprised by both.

First up was The Substitute from Denmark (Vikaren in whatever people from Denmark speak) which was awesome. The story reminds me of movies from my childhood (though I can't remember any specifically) where a group of kids learn the truth about their teacher (she's a whole chicken-eating alien) but the parents don't believe them, partly because she has some kind of mind control powers when it comes to making people say things (she can also shrink people). There's a ton of great scenes playing off this concept, like the teacher starting a relationship with the main kid's dad and showing her true face only to him at the dinner table and another kid telling his parents something along the lines of "I hope you realize this is the last time you'll ever see me alive" after trying to convince them of his teacher's evilness and them still sending him on a field trip with her. There's even a great scene where the kids sneak into the teacher's house with terrifying results.

The story gets a bit confusing at the end, but all in all it's a really solid story that's got it's own visual style and even sports opening and closing voiceovers about how humanity and earth are awesome. My only problems come with the fact that I'm not from Denmark and couldn't watch this movie in a language I understand. The dubbing wasn't as bad as some of the other movies I've watched, but my real problem stemmed from not being able to tell if the long haired blonde children were boys or girls. As the story plays on, though, I figured it out.

Like I said this was a really enjoyable movie, one that I'd actually like to see get remade in the states, but with a really solid director. How great would it be to have another Goonies-type movie showing kids in somewhat adult situations and dealing with a crazy situation? Do they make movies like that for kids anymore? I watched about 10 minutes of High School Musical 2 and wanted to hurt things, so I had to leave the room. Needless to say, I'm not real tapped in to what the kids like, but this would be good for them.

Pulse 2, however, probably wouldn't be so good for the kids. Not because it's a bad movie or even all that disturbing, but moreso because the ridiculous amounts of needless greenscreening may warp young minds. More on that in a minute. The story apparently follows directly from the original Pulse, which I did not see, so I was pretty lost. I'm also pretty sure that they don't really go into many of the details of what happened in the first movie beyond "Computers caused it" or whatever.

The story follows a dad played by Jamie Bamber (who's on Battlestar Galactica, but I don't watch that show so, eh) trying to make sure his daughter's okay in a world that's slowly creating more and more black and white static ghosts that can only appear around technology (?). We start off following his ex-wife/the girl's mom as she's wandering around some weird dream world looking for her daughter (which is made even more dreamlike thanks to the greenscreening). Then it weirdly jumps to the dad grabbing the daughter and leaving for a cabin in the woods where his weird girlfriend comes in. There's a whole lot of other weird plot elements, like a dude who claims to know how to stop the techno ghost plague (or whatever).

I had less than zero interest or expectations for this movie going in and even though it wasn't great and the plot was a little sloppy in the beginning, I still kind of liked it. I'm not sure why, really. The story was compelling and the Battlestar Galactica dude acted pretty well even with all the weirdness and the greenscreening.

Okay, I can't go on anymore without addressing this. There are tons of scenes filmed on green screens for some reason. And it's not like this movie takes place on Mars or in Sin City, it's a dude in a cabin, yet, instead of filming it normally it's on a green screen. It didn't bother me in the beginning because I assumed the mom was in some kind of weird dream world, but there were so many scenes sporting sloppy greenscreening that I couldn't help but notice and I'm not usually able to spot this stuff so easily. It's really distracting, but it also kind of adds to the weird goofy atmosphere of this movie. I probably wouldn't watch Pulse 2 again, but it did kind of make me want to watch the Kristen Bell original to see what the heck is going on and I would definitely rent the third installment to see if the weird dude really did figure out a way to block the signal.

Oh, there's also a completely weird scene where the dad and the kid are driving away, but dad stops as he sees a fat man in a diaper readying himself to jump off a bridge. Now, I don't know about you guys, but if that was me, I'd speed up and get on the other side of that bridge ASAP. He stops, looks up, waits and then decides to drive, just in time for the fat man to smash into the top of his SUV and roll off the back. Haha, weird.

Halloween Scene: Silent Night Deadly Night 1 (1984) and 2 (1987)

2009-03-18T14:04:00.000-04:00

2008-11-14 8:18:12 pm

You know, sometimes you just want to curl up and watch a nice holiday movie. And sometimes, you're looking through the Wizard DVD library and you come across a Silent Night Deadly Night double feature and decide to watch it. And really, it was like Christmas coming early with how bad and funny these movies are.

The first one follows a boy through three stages of his life. As a youngster he goes to visit his grandpa in the asylum (there's a car shot that looks like something out of Vacation for a moment). The old man's supposed to be catatonic, but becomes animated as soon as the parents leave the kid in the room, talking about how Santa punishes the bad kids and only gives presents to the really good ones and then goes back to being a vegetable when the parents come back in (hilariously great scene, I'd watch this old man in anything). Anyway, on their way home that night a dude dressed as Santa kills his parents. Skip ahead a few years and the kid and his brother (who was a baby in the first sequence) are in an orphanage run by violent nuns who are really into the idea of punishing the naughty. And finally, the rest of the movie focuses on our star once he turns 18, goes crazy and starts killing people.

You see, after turning 18, he's too old to be in the orphanage, so one of the nice nuns helps get him a job at a toy store. If you're a toy fan, go rent this movie right now and just watch the toy store scenes. I recognized a few choice toys in the background, including a Jabba's Palace playset from Jedi. Anyway, the kid gets forced to dress up as Santa (who he's understandably afraid of), flips and goes around killing a bunch of people for being "naughty" which brings us up to 3 (four counting the sequel) horror movies in the past two weeks that have stayed with the killer as a main character for a good portion of the movie.

From there, our Santa clad killer goes on a bit of a spree. It's pretty mindless, but I do have two favorite scenes from this part of the movie. In one sequence we cut to two kids sledding in the woods at night until two older bullies scare them off, steal their sleds and, well, go sledding. The first makes it down the short looking hill with no problems, but his buddy meets the sharp end of our killer's axe as he jumps out of the woods from nowhere and beheads Bully #2. Apparently the hill's a lot bigger than it looks as Bully #1 is at the bottom still waiting for his buddy to come sledding down, but all he gets is a rolling head and a decapitated body on the sled. It definitely comes off as the kind of scene where the writer just had a great idea for a kill even though it didn't really make sense in the film. But hey, I loved it, so I'm not complaining.

My other favorite moment comes when our killer gets to the orphanage to wreak some havoc and for absolutely no reason cuts the head off of a snowman on the way. I wish I had been watching this movie with people because there's all kinds of moments like that.

I dug the first one so much that I figured, why not pop the sequel on right away? Well, before I did, I did a little reading and found out that 2 is about 50% footage from the original with extra shots thrown in. The plot of this one follows the brother of the killer from the original. He's in an asylum and some doctor guy is going over his case, which is where all the footage from the original comes in. I found myself fastwordarding through all that junk and stopping when we got back to our spectacuarly over the top main character and the doctor who, at times, had the same look of disbelief on his face as his co-star's acting abilities as I did. My personal favorite part about these flashbacks is that not only is he remembering things that he wasn't privy too ("My brother told me everything.") but he's also recounting scenes that neither he nor his brother saw first hand. Brilliant!

But there are also original flashbacks showing us that this guy is completely nuts on his own. The color red (especially in the form of a car) sets him off on crazy rampages. He even starts blasting away at random people in the streets for no reason. Haha, oh man. Anyway, as you'd expect, he kills the doctor and breaks out of the asylum to go back to the orphanage and wreck shop on the old lady Mother Superior who's got a pretty gnarly scar on her face.

I highly recommend renting this bad boy as both movies are on opposite sides of the same disc. The original is a great over-the-top slasher flick with some pretty fun kills. And if you do rent it (or buy it, I'm looking for a copy of my own!) make sure to watch the sequel right afterward and just fast forward through all the recap stuff, it'll be worth your while to see our leading man. Oh boy, is he a hoot.

What I'm Thankful For: The Real World

2009-03-18T14:03:00.000-04:00

2008-11-13 4:46:23 am

My name is TJ and I am, in fact, a Real World-aholic. It feels good to admit it in public, but, to be honest, I have no problem talking about my problem. I've been a fan of the Real World for a long time now, which doesn't necessarily vindicate me, but it might explain some things. 1996's season in Miami really sticks out in my memory. I would have been 13 or 14 at the time. The funny thing is that, in the early 90s, my parents sat me down and told me they didn't want me watching MTV because of shows like Beavis and Butthead and rap videos objectifying women.

I followed that rule for a while, but eventually started watching MTV after school and whenever I'd stay up late. The funny thing is that I never liked B&B and I really didn't like rap at the time (and I'm still playing catch up today). But the show that really caught my attention was The Real World. I have a basic knowledge of the seasons before Miami (I've probably seen most of them in reruns by now), but Miami was the first one that really grabbed my attention, partly because of theaforementioned inclusion of Wilstorm Editor Sarah Becker. But the whole cast really intrigued me. These were the kinds of people I didn't experience in my everyday life and it was really cool to see them all together and trying to start a business (which, if memory serves, never took off).

Real Worlds Boston and Seattle were also pretty big deals at the time and probably the last seasons where they didn't stunt cast as much as they do today. I remember talking to my friend Shannon on the phone in high school for hours and one of the big topics of conversation was always the Real World. She was the first person I talked on the phone with for more then two minutes. I don't know why that's important, but it's fun.

After that things started getting crazy with all the drama of Hawaii, then New Orleans and heading back to New York for the tenth anniversary. That was one of the first things in pop culture that actually made me feel old because I actually remembered ten years of something on TV. Of course now I know it to be just the first of many events to make me feel old.

I don't remember much about Chicago by name except for the fact that two guys I would go on to know in college, Jeff and Pat got their way onto the show, though I didn't know them when the episode aired and haven't seen it since. As I've heard the story, they found out where the show was while they were filming and actually set up a lemonade stand outside the house. Eventually they got noticed by the housemates and made their way onto the show! My friends tell me that you can actually see them in the background of an episode that I would love to see.

After Chicago was the game changing Las Vegas which I remember watching every week in Jacob's room in college. It's weird how such a debaucherous show could bring people together (he was in my wedding party). By this time I wasn't talking to Shannon about every episode anymore, but Jacob filled that space pretty well. You know a season's gonna be crazy when there's practically a threesome on the first episode. Jacob (who was a year older) and I would watch the next few seasons together until he graduated.

After that things definitely get fuzzy and I have to refer to the Wikipedia page just to remember who was in what cast, but I was also equally enamored with the Real World/Road Rules Challenges which would pit casts from the two shows against each other in games of a physical nature. I was also a Road Rules fan until they decided to take a Survivor approach and kick people off. "Why become more like the show that's trying to steal your original concept?" I thought. Anyway, I appreciated how they'd schedule Real World seasons to follow Road Rules and vice versa and then once Road Rules tanked for whatever reason they'd fill in with the various challenges.

After college I spent a few months at home where I worked most mornings at Barry's Bagel Place at Westgate and most nights at the Chad/Chad/Toth house (I really miss that place) watching whatever was on MTV (I regret to say that that included The Hills along with the less embarassing Real World and Challenges.

Luckily, when I moved out here to New York I found a kindred Real World spirit in Rickey, who shared my love of how ridiculous the show had become. You see, back when I was a kid I actually wanted to be on the show and now I've reached the peak age at which I could make it onto the show (a realization that struck me a lot harder than it should have). In three months I'll be too old. Depressing. But after a while, that desire to be one of them transformed into an amazement at how self obsessed some people can be as well as a kind of character study. Sure the inclusion of camera will change how people act, but Real World definitely offers the budding writer (which I still consider myself, until I hit the top of that age limit as well) a great look at some truly interesting characters. But, let's be clear, I don't want to sound all literary and whatnot, I do like watching people get drunk and make bad decisions. It's the same part of me that liked watching Jerry Springer when I was younger.

Anyway, Rickey and I stayed pretty well caught up, though I did fall of the wagon for a season until he told me how awesome it was and I caught up with episodes online (I wish every season was available online, I'd watch the crap out of that). Since then I've been watching every season and challenge as they come out.

What I like about the challenges is that you get to see these characters that you got pretty close to in previous seasons. To me they're real people but also just characters on a TV show and seeing them all together on another show is like seeing a cool comic book team-up where you get to see a group of characters you never thought you'd get to see again.

Like I said above, I do have a problem and I accept that. I've known for a while that my love for the Real World and it's bastard offspring is somewhat unnatural, but it really hit home yesterday when I realized that there wouldn't be any new shows this weekend as The Island (the latest challenged) aired it's last episode two weeks ago and it's reunion show last week. I guess I've just got to wait until the new season hits which features a cast in Brooklyn. How crazy is it that I've been living this close to a Real World house and not set up a lemonade stand yet? Hmm, maybe there's still time. What do you say Rickey? Interested?

What I'm Thankful For: The Wildstorm Universe

2009-03-18T14:02:00.002-04:00

2008-11-11 10:13:41 pm

As far as comic book universes go, I think the Wildstorm one might be my non-DC and Marvel favorite. Gen 13 was my gateway into Wildstorm back in the day. #14 was my first issue (with Roxy going to school on the cover) and I was hooked immediately. I didn't really branch out into other Wildstorm books for a long time, but I was really impressed with how historic this new comic book universe felt even back then. Gen 13 were the kids of guys in a group called Team 7, whose members were on all kinds of other teams or hanging out in their own solo books (Grifter, Backlash, Lynch, Deathblow, etc.). I didn't really know what all was going on, but I was super intrigued. So intrigued that I bought a few other books like a Team 7 mini that came out and whatnot, but not a ton of books.

I completely dodged the initial Image onslaught of comics when the boom hit, which I'm still thankful for, but I did wind up with some random issues here and there thanks to various grab bags I picked up over the years. I also watched the Wildcats cartoon when it was on, because, at the time, I'd watch ANYTHING comic book related. So, with all that I had a basic idea of what was going on in their universe and it all seemed really cool. A big part of that has to do with the artists working on these books. Man, they looked slick and definitely appealed to me as a kid, but I was also into the "super powered kids on the run from adults" story that came along with Gen 13 as it was my first exposure to such a concept. Oh yeah, I also remember Sarah from the Real World Miami being a Wildstorm editor. On the very first episode they showed her getting kicked out of her place after a big party. If memory serves (which it probably doesn't) her roommates were J. Scott Campbell and another notable who I can't remember. Her desk in the RW house was also surrounded by comic book pictures, which totally geeked me out back when no one on TV ever talked about comic books.

Skip ahead a bunch of years, I've dropped Gen 13 from my list because of Claremont's relaunch (yeesh) and not really interested in Wildstorm anymore, but I'm hearing a lot about this book called The Authority. I eventually score an internship at Wizard where Rickey recommends I read Warren Ellis' Stormwatch which leads directly into The Authority. I did and dug it and then read Authority and got less and less impressed as it went on. So recently, I re-read all five Stormwatch trades and they're really good. Ellis does a surprisingly good job playing in a super hero universe that doesn't have as many rules as DC or Marvel. I'm looking forward to reading his Authority again soon in the next few weeks too. Ellis' Planetary is also a lot of fun, but I want the last trade dag nabbit!

Once I started working for Wizard full time I jumped back into the Wildstorm pool and was surprised to see some names that I wouldn't necessarily associate with the company like James Robinson and Alan Moore who both did stints on Wildcats. I can't remember how far I got, but I started with Wildcats #1 and read through Moore's stuff (which includes Robinson's run). Both Robinson and Moore's arcs are pretty fantastic (especially Moore's, no big surprise there). Like with Ellis, it was great to see Moore coming in and picking up elements from previous Wildcats stories and running with them. Moore did a bunch of other stories here and there that have been collected in one big trade that's definitely out there, but still a lot of fun.

I also read Ed Brubaker's Point Blank which lead into his Sleeper series with Sean Phillips. Man, this story blew me away. It could have very easily been it's own stand alone story of espionage and intrigue, but Brubaker set it squarely in the WU, with references to Alan Moore's Wildcats and plenty of other goings on. It's a great series and one I recommend to anyone who loves dark and dirty comics.

From there I jumped into more modern Wildstorm as they shook up their universe with the Wold Storm event. Even now I'm not really sure what the deal was. Things were predicated by the Will Pfeifer-written Captain Atom: Armageddon mini which placed Cap in the Wildstorm U. He blew up and so did the WU, but it reformed in similar and different ways after that. I got to talk to most of the creators for the big relaunch (this is when Grant Morrison was announced to be writing both Wildcats and Authority) which was a lot of fun, but as a fan of the existing Wildstorm U, I was left mostly confused. Unlike Crisis on Infinite Earths there wasn't a "we're completely starting over" vibe as some teams seemed to be unchanged (Stormwatch PHD which was a great book seemed to be exactly in line with previous Stormwatch stuff) while others were way different (my beloved Gen 13). There were a few stumbling blocks as Wildcats and Authority have only put out one and two issues respectively, but overall Stormwatch PHD, Deathblow and Midnighter were all pretty solid books and Gail Simone added a whole new element with her Welcome to Tranquility series.

But the changes weren't over as Wildstorm geared up for another big shake up with their trilogy of stories: Wildstorm: Armageddon, Wildstorm: Revelations and Number of the Beast which I liked for the most part though I wish Number of the Beast would have picked up more elements from Revelations. Anyway, now you've got the Wildstorm U in a kind of post-apocalyptic Mad Max-like world where everything's turned on it's ear and all these familiar heroes are fighting just to keep humanity going.

It's not an easy universe to break into with over a decade's worth of stories, but I've had a great time exploring the good and the bad of the Wildstorm U, which is a lot more intricate and detailed than you might think at first. If you're looking to get in, I'd recommend Sleeper, Moore's Wildcats, the upcoming James Robinson Wildcats trade, Warren Ellis' Stormwatch and Authority and Stormwatch PHD. I'm really curious to see where they go with this new path and I can't wait to see what they do and what new creators and characters will pop up in the future.

As The World Trons: A Tron (1982) Review

2009-03-18T14:01:00.001-04:00

2008-11-11 3:18:00 pm

Tron is one of those movies that I've been hearing about how awesome it is from people who are a few years older than me for a while now. Well, sorry those people, but I've got to disagree. I think if I had seen Tron when I was a kid it would have blown my freaking mind and I'd probably love it now, but seeing as I don't have the nostalgia factor, I watched it like I would any other movie and, while the effects were crazy good for the time and still hold up, the story seems a bit confusing and thrown together.

The story revolves around computer guru Jeff Bridges (who sounds just like The Dude) who used to work for a big corporation that's been taken over by a guy who stole Jeff's designs for video games and passed them off as his own. There's also a computer program called Master Control Program who's running that dirtbag's life. But the real story takes place inside the computer as Bridges gets zapped inside and has to deal with programs designed by his friends in the real world who resemble them. Bruce Boxleitner and Cindy Morgan (who I did not recognize as the girl from Caddyshack) play the friends in the real world and programs in the computer.

I think the confusion stems from the very beginning of the movie where they jump into the computer and show off a bunch of craziness without much context. I knew a little bit about the movie, but not much so I was kind of lost right off the bat. Then it bounces to the real world and back into the computer. I got the overall plot points and, like I said, it looks sick once they're inside the computer. They do a great job making the people/programs inside the computer look unnatural. I read they did it by shooting in black and white and then adding color in post. It's very creepy looking.

All in all, Tron is entertaining enough, but not all that absorbing. The sound levels also seem to bounce around like crazy, which is a pet peeve of mine as I'm trying to watch these movies while my wife sleeps. Keep it down you darn movies! Anyway, I recommend Tron to special effects fans, Jeff Bridges fans and anyone who saw it when they were three and want to check it out again.

Iron Mongering Part 4: The Many Armors of Iron Man

2009-03-18T13:59:00.001-04:00

2008-11-11 2:54:44 pm

As I've mentioned in previous Iron Mongering posts, I really want to see a Michelinie and Layton Essential, Visionaries or even an Omnibus or two. Many Armors is nothing like that. Instead it's a grab bag of issues by different creators introducing various Iron Man armors (a space armor, the stealth, etc.). Sounds like it could be fun right? Well, it really isn't unfortunately. My biggest problem with the book (which collects Iron Man #47, 142-144, 152, 153, 200, 218) is that, like with Demon in a Bottle there is no indication as to what's been going on with Iron Man around the time these issues came out, so you're just thrown in and have to figure it out on your own. And while the stories themselves may be kind of interesting, I really felt like I was missing a lot.

Generally I don't like trades like this with various issues from various teams about various stories, but the ones that I think did it best was the Green Arrow/Black Canary For Better Or For Worse which did the above, but also included little prose paragraphs before each story to explain what had happened in the years between the stories. Maybe if MAOIM did that for a later edition it would be a more enjoyable book, but as it is, it really isn't. It does REALLY make me want to see some Michelinie and Layton trades collecting their epic runs. I've got my fingers crossed. Maybe in time for the Iron Man sequel.

Oh, which reminds me, reading the first issue in this trade, which retold Iron Man's origin spurred me on to watching the Iron Man DVD, so, that's a least a point in the plus column. That movie's rad.

Weekend Roundup

2009-03-18T13:56:00.001-04:00

2008-11-10 5:12:26 pm

Wow, what a weekend. It was kind of busy with a wedding and both my football teams losing, but I was also able to squeeze in far more movies than I should have.

On Friday, Em went to bed early, so I ran up to Blockbuster and did a trade in for a double feature of Robert Rodriguez's El Mariachi (1992) and Desperado (1995). I'd seen Desperado and Once Upon a Time in Mexico before, but had never seen the original piece of the Mexico Trilogoy, plus I'm a sucked for a 2-for1 and traded it in. I did not know that Mariachi is completely in Spanish and it seems as though the version I had rented didn't have an English dub, but it did have an awesome commentary by Rodriguez. So I listened to that and put subtitles on and enjoyed the heck out of myself. Turns out he made the movie for $7,000 and most of that cost went towards film. He worked with mostly no crew and local people who'd never acted before. And while I can't understand what they're saying on screen, they really seemed natural. Rodriguez gives a play by play of how he did everything on screen which is super informative and then, in the special features, offers up a segment called "10 Minute Film School" showcasing how he did some of the more complex stunts and basic stuff like shooting scenes with editing in mind. I've never been to film school, but I feel like I got a heck of an education from just listening to the commentary. It was worth the rental for the feeling of "heck, I can do this too." Who wants to make a movie with me?

So, I was pretty hyped up after Mariachi and put Desperado on immediately after. It definitely looks and feels like a different animal with it's slicker look, bigger actors and crazier action sequences, but Rodriguez maintains the feel of the original which is impressive. This time Antonio Banderas plays El Mariachi and Salma Hayek plays his love interest. You've also got Quentin Tarantino, Cheech Marin, Steve Buscemi and Danny Trejo (my personal favorite interviewee so far). What stuck in my head from my previous viewing of Desperado was how bad ass it was. And that still holds up as Banderas leaps around shooting dudes from all kinds of awesome camera angles. I also love how cool the guitar case full of weapons is. It's like Rodney Dangerfield's golf bag from Caddyshack 2! Anyway, I also really dug the final scene where Mariachi calls in his boys who also have guitar cases concealing weapons (machine guns and a rocket launcher!). It's an awesome revenge story with tons of action and plenty of bad ass characters walking around looking bad ass, but none as bad ass as Mariachi. BAM!

After that I was pretty exhausted (it was 3AM), so I went to bed. The next day Em took a nap in the afternoon and I started tinkering with my VCR and actually got the dumb thing to start working again which meant I could watch some of the tapes I've picked up at work and garage sales lately. So I popped Don't Answer the Phone (1980) on. It wasn't very good. The story follows a serial killer as he calls in to a radio psychologist and taunts her. The video tape quality added to the atmosphere of the film, but it was overall just kind of uncomfortable and I didn't even both finishing it. What I did find interesting was the fact that we as the audience spent a good deal of time with the killer even when he wasn't killing. We see him walking along the street and calling into the radio show. I've often thought it would be interesting to see a slasher movie done like this, where you really get to see things from the killer's perspective. If Don't Answer the Phone is any indicator, maybe it's not such a good idea.

After giving up on that flick, I still had a little more time, so I popped in F/X2 (1991), which is a tape I grabbed from Em's parents when they were cleaning out all the tapes. They used to own a video store back in the day, so I can only assume it's a leftover from those days (how I wish I was around when they were getting rid of their boxes and boxes of movies!). I actually thought F/X2 was a horror movie, so I was confused when I couldn't find it in my Creature Features book. It turns out that it's more of an action thriller than a horror movie, though. Bryan Brown (Cocktail!) stars as a Hollywood effects man who gave up the game after the events of the first movie (which I haven't seen). This time, the woman he's dating's ex husband asks him to help out with a case (making him look like a woman), but it turns out that the ex gets killed and Bryan stumbles upon a much bigger plot involving cops killing cops, mobsters and the Vatican. Bryan calls in his buddy from the previous flick Brian Dennehy and now they're on the case. It's a fairly standard plot from here, but what I really liked about the movie is how Brown uses his crazy special effects talents to go after the bad guys. At one point, a dude breaks into his house to kill him, but Brown's able to slip into this motion control suit that coincides with a robot clown, so anything Brown does, the clown does. Then there's this amazingly hilarious fight scene with Brown and the clown vs. the assassin. There's also all kinds of craziness at the end. Definitely worth checking out if you want to see the kind of movie that will never get made nowadays, one with a sense of humor about itself, but also takes itself seriously.

The aforementioned wedding interrupted my movie watching (it's okay, I forgive them). On Sunday, I caught part of Bad Boys II (2003) on TV and you know what? That movie's awesome. I think Michael Bay gets a bad rap. I don't know much about the guy aside from what he puts on the screen, but I definitely appreciate his love of big crazy movies with lots of action and explosions. Some people call him a hack for that, but I don't buy it. I've liked Armageddon, The Rock, Bad Boys I and II (though definitely II better) and Transformers. I haven't seen The Island yet and I didn't really like Pearl Harbor at the time, but would definitely give it another shot. I didn't get to see the entirety of BBII (I've seen it before though) and man, there are some awesome scenes in there. The 360 degree scene of Will Smith on one side of a room and dudes with machine guns on the other. The chase scene where the bad guys throw cars at them. You can't beat that kind of stuff. And, I didn't get to see it this time, but the absolute disregard for human life while driving through Cuban homes! This is what movies used to be like back in the 70s and 80s and it's awesome to see that again. (NOTE: I in no way support the ACTUAL disregard of human life in Cuba, just in the movies!) Also, I forgot how cool Will Smith can be when he wants to (and when the camera angels make him look so). There were a lot of fun similarities between how Rodriguez shot Banderas and how Bay shot Smith. Fun stuff.

Finally, I ended my weekend movie watching with the original When A Stranger Calls (1979). I've got a bit of a history with the remake. My first year here in New York, before I got married, I didn't really have a lot going on, so on my birthday Rickey, Ben and I (sorry if I forgot anyone else, my memory's fuzzy at best) I thought it would be awesome to go see a horror movie (Em was still in New Hampshire). WASC had just come out and Rickey and I had just seen the main girl, Camilla Belle, in Chumscrubber and had school boy crushes on her so it seemed like a great idea. It was not and I still get reminded of how bad of a movie it was. Soon after, I looked the original up in Creature Features to find out that the original actually split it's time between the babysitter getting terrorized story and then a seven years later story when the killer breaks out of an asylum. No wonder it felt like it was way too drawn out.

So, last night I finally watched the original and was even more surprised to find out that the babysitter portion only takes up about 15 minutes of screen time! Oh remake people, you're so crazy. Anyway, it's a pretty effective movie, the babysitter stuff in the beginning is definitely creepy and spawned the line "The call is coming from inside the house." You've also got a pretty creepy killer, he killed the kids she was babysitting in their bedrooms with his bare hands while she was downstairs. After the 7 year jump we end up splitting our time between the escaped killer as he wanders around New York trying to hit on (or kill?) some woman and the private detective who's on his trail. Here's another movie where we get to see things from the killer's perspective for a significant part of the movie. I'm not sure if we're supposed to feel sorry for him or what, which adds to my not loving this movie, but eventually he finds the babysitter, who now has two kids and a husband and starts screwing with her again. There are some creepy moments and the killer definitely walks the line between total creep and somewhat not-hateable. It's not a great movie, but definitely not as bad as the remake, though this kind of makes me want to watch it again. Somebody stop me...

To My Astonishment

2009-03-18T13:52:00.000-04:00

2008-11-09 10:16:13 pm

Wow, I was going through my posts and found this one that never went life for some reason. I think I wrote it originally back in August, but it could have been even further back than that. Enjoy!

I realize it's been a while since I did an actual comic review. I've been reading mostly newer stuff lately and trying to catch up on more recent books that I missed, but I did grab all four Astonishing X-Men trades from the library the other day after. I had read the first three and part of the fourth, but wasn't really seeing what all the fuss was about and got pretty displeased with the incredible lateness of the book, so I stopped reading. And while I did like the series a little bit more the second time around, I'm still not blown away like everyone else.

Now, don't get me wrong. I think Whedon crafted a good story and I like Cassaday's art enough. But neither one of those excuse the lateness of the book. I know it doesn't matter now that the whole thing is out in trade (and probably an omnibus at some point), but it still bugs me when creators make a splash with a book, get fans excited and then keep you waiting for four years to finish a 25 issues story. It's the kind of book I would have dropped if I was buying it and didn't get to read them for free at work.

Okay, aside from that, I did have a bit of a hard time not seeing shades of Buffy in every issue of the book. Em and I just finished watching the series again (look for something Buffy-related coming soon) right before I started re-reading the first trade. Sure these characters stand on their own and maybe Cassaday even took some of his cues from the show (the way he draws Beast with his glasses, instantly makes me think of Giles). But, after the first few pages of the first issue, all that kind of fell away. I still saw elements of his Buffy characters in the X-Men, but it's obviously not a direct lift or transference. Even though certain bits of dialog brought me right back to Buffy episodes. It could also be argued that the Buffy characters were influenced by the X-Men. Who's to say?

Also, I do have to say that I'm not much of an X-Men fan. As my faithful reader(s) know(s), I was a DC kid growing up, so my experience with the X-Men were the occasional grocery store comics I'd pick up and the cartoon (and reading Wizard back in the day). Because of this, I find their history nearly incomprehensible at times. That being said, I think this is probably the most accessible X-Men book I've ever checked out. Whedon and Cassaday both boil the characters down to their basic natures, both in content and appearance, so that you can figure out what they're all about in just a few panels. I even handed it to Em after the first two trades were out and she loved it, though I did have to hear her continually ask about the next trade for like two years. She has also re-read them and, with the exception of a few questions about the Legacy Virus and Cassandra Nova, didn't have any trouble with the plot.

I also appreciate the whole "let's make the X-Men a real life superhero team" idea that gets a bit lost in the middle of the series, but then comes back later on. One of the many things that has bothered me about the Marvel Universe is how bigoted the general citizens can be toward mutants and not towards the Avengers. How do they know that Cap isn't a mutant? Come on, get over it already. And for his part, Whedon tried to get people over it, by getting the "feared and hated by those they've sworn to protect" bit out of the way after the first arc. Kudos for that. And double extra kudos for leaving guns all over the different issues and firing them off in the end (most specifically, the big giant weird sentient Genosha-killing Sentinel). And super kudos for putting some genuinely funny moments in the book. The scene with Kitty falling thrown the floor into the TV room while her and Pete...celebrated his return, made me actually laugh out loud (yes, that an LLOL, a literal LOL).

I also appreciate how Whedon adds to the mythology without muddying up the already cloudy world of the X-Men and the Marvel U in general. You've got Danger, the Breakworld, Agent Brand, S.W.O.R.D. and maybe Armor? I'm not sure if Morrison invented her in his New X-Men or not, but Whedon obviously took a shine to her and gave Wolverine another Kitty Pryde/Jubilee girl partner to pal around with when X-23 gets to be too much of a psychopath.

All in all, like I said above, I think this is a good X-Men story. It almost reads like "All-Star X-Men" because it basically glosses over everything that happened in the Marvel U in the four years it took to tell the story. There's no mention of the Decimation and only one line about Civil War. Now, I'm not one to say that these big events MUST interfere with a big-time writer's story, but it would at least make sense to get a mention of the 198 or something. And, I'm sorry to say, but I don't see what the big deal about Cassaday's art. My friend Rickey Purdin has promised to sit down with me and go through the trades to try and change my mind, so we shall see. And really, I'm only disappointed in that because I think Whedon could have done some really fun things with those events AND I think the Marvel U and the X-books could have benefited from a more timely involvement.

We (Comic Book Detective Matt Powell and King of the Internet Jim Gibbons) were all talking about this book at lunch the other day and came up with the idea that it would be cool if Whedon "executive produced" X-Men the way he does TV or the Buffy comic, writing the important stuff, letting other writers flesh things out and approving everything that gets done. We all felt that, given a more regular shipping schedule, Whedon's run would feel a lot fuller and more well-rounded like our favorite seasons of Buffy.

Halloween Scene: Dog Soldiers (2002)

2009-03-18T13:51:00.000-04:00

2008-11-08 12:21:17 am

I remember when Dog Soldiers came out, there seemed to be a lot of hype about it online. It came out around the same time as Ginger Snaps (or at least I heard about them around the same time). But I never saw it until last night and I wasn't all that impressed.

The movie, directed by Neil Marshall who also directed Doomsday which I had a great deal of fun watching and The Descent which I haven't seen, but have heard good things about, features a bunch of Scottish soldiers in the woods as they stumble upon werewolf attacks during a routine training mission. The movie ends up feeling very much like Predator, but with werewolves instead of awesome Predators. It's not a bad movie, but it just didn't feel all that original. I'm also not much of a werewolf movie fan. I dug Silver Bullet, but for the most part I don't really like werewolf flicks. For whatever reason they've never really resonated with me. Then again, I've never seen American Werewolf in Paris or the original Wolf Man movie.

In the end, it's a good movie if you haven't seen Predator or if you really love werewolves. Otherwise, you might want to pass on this one and check out Ginger Snaps which I remember liking at the time, but haven't seen since.

Riding Hella Dirty: A Hell Ride (2008) Review

2009-03-18T13:50:00.000-04:00

2008-11-07 4:53:29 am

Here's what you need to ask yourself to figure out if you'd like Hell Ride. Do you like Quentin Tarantino and the movies that he likes? Does the idea of a movie with Larry Bishop, Michael Madsen, Vinnie Jones, David Carradine and Dennis Hopper sound awesome? Does the idea of amoral bikers doing whatever they want wherever they want bother you? If the answers were yes, YES and hell no, then Hell Ride is the movie for you.

It's by no means a great movie, but writer, director, lead and classic motorcycle movie dude Larry Bishop definitely loves what he's doing and it permeates the film. Everyone involved really feels like they're having fun, even when spouting off some fairly ridiculous dialogue (the fire for sex metaphor goes on WAY too long).

There's a cool back story to this movie that's related in the behind the scenes featurette on the DVD. Not surprisingly, Quentin is a big fan of Larry Bishop's biker flicks and told him it's his destiny to make the best biker flick of all time. Having not seen any of the others, I can't compare, but it's a cool backstory. Bishop picked up the proposition and ran with it. And I've got to give it to the guy for getting a very impressive cast together. Aside from the guys mentioned above, there are about 100 sexy ladies and Eric Balfour who some of you might remember as Jesse from the first few episodes of Buffy.

The plots probably a little more complex than it needs to be with plenty of flashbacks and all that, but it ends up working int he end and would probably have made a lot more sense if I wasn't so tired when I started watching it last night.

So here's the deal, Bishop leads a gang with Madsen and Balfour as his numbers one and two. Hopper's a part of their crew too. Bishop and his boys run up against another gang with Carradine as the head and Vinnie Jones as the street leader (or something like that). Bishop's character is also trying to make good on a promise he made to a woman who got killed 30 years ago.

I'll be honest, I missed a lot of the plot and got the basics from the extra features on the DVD which was helpful, but I still really enjoyed the movie. There's a lot of just dudes being badass which I appreciate. You definitely won't see another movie like this. I was also impressed with the age of the leads. Not counting the women, you've got Bishop whose birthday isn't posted on IMDb, but he was making biker movies in the 70s (he's also Rat Packer Larry Bishop's kid!), Madsen is 51, Jones is 43, Balfour's the baby at 31 while Carradine and Hopper are both 72. You probably won't get a cast like that in any other movie this year. And man, they're all bad dudes in this flick. And not just cool, but morally all over the place.

Madsen does his usual thing. Hopper's actually less crazy than you'd expect if you've seen some of his other weirder work like that nutty Crow sequel he was in where he played a gangsta pimp. What happened to that guy? Carradine gets kind of a different role than he has in Quentin's movies. And Balfour does a great job as the new kid who's having fun but also working hard to prove himself. And they all look great together on screen, almost like a superhero team.

It's fun stuff. Not brilliant film making, but definitely a freaking fun movie.

What I'm Thankful For: Halloween

2009-03-18T13:49:00.000-04:00

2008-11-07 2:47:59 am

As I'm sure you could tell from my near daily Halloween Scene posts throughout the month of October, I'm a big fan of Halloween. Unfortunately I've had some weird Halloweens over the past few years. My senior year of college I got pretty sick with bronchitis and pneumonia, so that sucked. Then my first year at Wizard (I started on October 17th), I was too new to get invited to one of the guys' Halloween party (I also was too much of a wuss to ask if I could come, so no big deal, I just watched horror movies in my hovel of a room). The year after that, my first Halloween married we went out to the bar. Em went as the killer rabbit from Monty Python while I went as Charlie from Lost. Neither of us were very creative with our costumes. Then last year I got sick again, just a cold this time, but it was still annoying.

So, this year, I was psyched for Halloween and refused to get sick. It helped that I was sick about two weeks before (yeah!). And boy was it a fun one! I was even able to make it last for a full week as we had a party to go to on the 25th. Thanks to Em's smartness I went to the first party as a black and white zombie from Night of the Living Dead.

I wasn't able to find a black suit based on the first zombie we see in the beginning of the movie, but I was able to get a gray one and then Em did my makeup. Ah, it reminded me of my days doing musicals in high school.

It also reminded me of a horror movie because, while we were getting ready the freaking power went out and Em had to do both of our makeup(s?) by candle and flashlight. I was pretty sure a slasher was going to break in at any moment OR a real zombie outbreak would happen. Oh, it was also a dark and somewhat stormy night. Crazy! We then went to a party where we drank, which as you all know is just asking for trouble (especially for Miley Cyrus cut outs).

Oh and at the party we also played a super fun board game called Pimps and Ho's. I'd throw in a link for you to check out their site, but it might seem a bit lewd, just put the name in the browser without punctuation or spaces and check out the fun.

So, that party was great great fun, but it wasn't the end of the Halloween festivities. In addition to the plenty of horror movies I watched, we also dressed up at Wizard and there was a costume contest. I took second place and won $10. Woo hoo, thanks Summer for setting it up! (I'm the one in the monkey suit by the way).

We also carved pumpkins and I took the old school Nintendo approach and did Boo from the Mario games. It didn't involve much actual carving, but I did have to shave all the orange off. I think it turned out pretty good and the trick or treaters seemed to like it, even the punk kid who said "More" twice after I had already given him two pieces of candy. Little jerk.

But even THAT wasn't it. Halloween night we went to a party of one of Em's coworkers' house. We didn't want to do the makeup thing again and I didn't want to wear the monkey suit (it's freaking HOT inside that thing), so we stole Rickey and James' idea from a few years ago (the rabbit/Charlie year) and wore big boys footy pajamas. Man that was fun.

I also played beer pong for the second time and for two games, my partner and I were champions of the world (which I told everyone at the party, most of whom were strangers to me up until that point). There's nothing funnier than thinking about myself, drunk and dressed like a little kid playing beer pong. There was also a baby at the party which was weird. I tried not to swear too much around her, but I did. Sorry Abby.

So yeah, that was this year's Halloween. I'm gonna try and get my streak of not being sick on Halloween back up again and keep enjoying the creepiest night of the year.

What I'm Thankful For: Kevin Smith

2009-03-18T13:48:00.000-04:00

2008-11-06 4:22:18 am

So I'm starting a new recurring element for November. It's called What I'm Thankful For and it's pretty self explanatory. First up, I decided to do Kevin Smith. I've been a fan of his since my freshman year in high school and just saw Zack and Miri so it seemed like a natural place to start.

It's kind of funny because I almost wrote Kevin Smith off early on in my high school career. I remember going over to a girl named Erin Sullivan's house and she tried putting on Clerks, but everyone was pretty grossed out by the snowball conversation and we turned it off (oh how young and prudish we were). Later, I was at someone else's house (Chad Yates, I believe) and he put on Chasing Amy which got turned off pretty quickly for whatever reason (it's not really a good party movie).

Now, I'm not sure when I actually started watching his movies, but whenever that was, I was hooked. I do remember seeing the Mallrats Magic Eye ads in the back of comics, but I'm sure that had nothing to do with it. There was something about the way he had his characters talk that seemed to echo how I thought (though not necessarily how I talked). And the themes were completely original too me. Clerks showed me what the world can be like. Mallrats gave me a comedy that seemed to speak to my generation (or at least the one slightly above mine) and Chasing Amy broke my heart with it's unorthodox love story and less than happy ending.

I want to say that I saw Dogma in the theater, but I really can't remember. I do remember that I was freaking in love with it. I grew up Catholic and went to Catholic grade school and high school, but it wasn't the ultra-strict kind of thing that tend to spring to mind for a lot of people. I actually learned a great deal in those schools about everything from history to sex ed, which kind of blows my mind after talking to other people who went to Catholic schools. Anyway, Dogma basically started pointing out a lot of the kind of crazy things about organized religion around the same time the thoughts started kicking around in my own head so it was great timing.

Somewhere around here I discovered Kevin Smith's Viewaskew site. I wasn't really down with the whole message board thing but I really appreciated how open he was with his fans. Smith was one of the first director's I discovered and really followed in my younger years (Tarantino was another) and I really appreciated how he interacted with people. He seemed like a new kind of director.

I do remember when I saw Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back though. It was the day before I went off to college and my buddy Eric Toth got screener tickets for Randy Lemle and myself, which was great because I had to go down on a Wednesday I believe and would have missed the normal Friday release. It was pretty great timing really as I was leaving my own weird cast of characters for a completely new one (just like Smith was supposedly leaving the View Askewniverse behind. Yes it's a love letter to the fans, but being such a big fan I gladly accepted it.

Somewhere along the line I saw Jersey Girl on DVD and while it's definitely not your average Smith flick, I thought it had a lot of heart and he got great performances out of Ben Affleck, George Carlin, Liv Tyler and everyone else. And, if nothing else it lead directly to the 10-years-later sequel to Clerks which I freaking loved in the theaters and watched again with Em back when we didn't have cable and laughed like crazy. Again, the timing was right as I was feeling older, I'd moved away from home and I wasn't really around my good close friends from either home or college. So, while my life didn't reflect the events on screen (no donkey shows for me), I could definitely relate to the scariness of the next steps of life along with questioning what the heck I'm supposed to do with my life. And, of course, I like seeing these characters over and over, it's the comic book fan in me.

When I started getting into podcasts a few years back Smith and Scott Mosier's Smodcast was one of the first ones I subscribed to and it's still one of my favorites. It's just two dudes talking and it's great. I, of course, also have the Clerks cartoon on DVD even though I didn't watch it when it was on. I do have all the DVDs (except Jersey Girl) and have actually watched Mallrats with commentary more times than without. I bought the first round of Clerks Inaction figures and the Jay and Bob figures. Oh, and I got super jealous when Rickey, my roommate at the time, got to go to Smith's house to take notes during a big poker game with comic talent like Jim Lee and Geoff Johns for a feature in Wizard. I was able to contribute the headline of that feature though, "The Royal Flush Gang." Hey, it's something, I guess. The closest I ever personally got was interviewing Walt Flanagan and Bryan Johnson about their rad monster horror comic War of the Undead via E-mail.

So last Saturday I found myself in the theater with Em watching Zack and Miri Make a Porno. I dug the movie. I do have some problems with the plot (they SPOILER never finish the porno or go back and explain what's up with the other characters), but I laughed hard and got to see some familiar faces (maybe a few too many Apatow familiars for my personal preference). Mostly I liked how Seth Rogen's character so closely paralleled Smith himself when he was making Clerks. It's not a necessary piece of information to fully enjoy the movie, but it was kind of cool knowing he was using his own experiences. I've got no problem with the porno thing, I guess it would be kind of hard to be a Smith fan by now and actually have a problem with it, but whatever.

I fully recognize that my relationship with Smith's movies has been very "right place, right time." I've got no idea if I'd be such a big fan if I was a few years older or younger, but hey, that's how it works. I'm excited to see where he goes from here, especially with Red State, his in-progress horror movie (two great tastes that will hopefully taste great together). Until then, I'll keep my ear to the Smodcast to see what historical and factual inaccuracies the boys can come up with next.

Halloween Scene: The Strangers (2008)

2009-03-18T13:47:00.000-04:00

2008-11-05 8:30:49 pm

Wow. The Strangers was definitely a roller coaster ride for me. Let me walk you through it.

So I started out very confused because I was getting sleepy when I turned the DVD on the other night. Liv Tyler's "always whispering even when she's screaming" tone of voice didn't help matters any. I had no idea what was going on, why Liv and Scott Speedman (the dude from Felicity) were mad at each other because I couldn't hear anything (Em was sleeping) and I fell asleep by the first flashback.

Which leads me to last night when I couldn't handle one more second of politics and popped it back in. It turns out that he proposed and she declined. The first 15-20 minutes are basically them being upset and awkward around each other, a strange woman showing up, banging on the door and asking for a woman who doesn't live there and then the dude leaving. But, that being said, the whole time you know something is going to happen so it's still kind of tense.

But what really adds to the discomfort of the entire movie (which is a compliment) is the fact that the camera seems to always be moving just a little. According to IMDb, it's because it was all hand held and steady cams. To me, this is the direct descendant of movies like Halloween and Texas Chainsaw Massacre where there's so much going on on screen as well as the screen itself kind of adding to the ambiance. I think I mentioned this when talking about some kind of fake documentary, but this kind of camera movement, which could be done with film and digital, makes the movie feel more realistic, like you're a voyeur watching something insane going down without making it an actual video camera in the story.

So the dude leaves and Liv's left in the house alone and the people in the creepy masks start screwing with her. This is where the Halloween/TCM comparisons started (specifically Halloween) and basically didn't let up until the end. One of my favorite aspects of Halloween is when you can just see Michael in the background or when he's nearby, but the kids can't see him. This has plenty of that as the characters get incredibly close to Liv, Steve and the only other good guy character in the flick, Always Sunny in Philadelphia's Glenn Howerton (Dennis). There's even a scene where Steve's trying to get a car started when you see this hand just barely hovering over his shoulder. You're not sure what it's going to do, then it touches him and disappears!

At this point, I'm super into this movie. I felt tense the whole time (up to a certain point) and was definitely sucked into the flick. Especially because it got me really thinking about what it would take to be these killers. I'm assuming they're normal humans (there's nothing on screen to the contrary), so these people are actually putting themselves at great risk to terrorize these strangers (it seems to be just a random choice). You don't know who's in that house, maybe it's Rambo or a freaking ninja, anyone could live there! There's also got to be a fair amount of planning or at least non verbal communications you would have to work out (we only hear them speak once or twice though they could talk when they're in the woods or whatever). At various times they're at all the exists screwing with her and Steve, it's crazy! Those are some well organized psychos.

Okay, so the movie continues on and the dude gets taken out and I start to loose a bit of interest as Liv continues to make more and more mistakes. I get that she'd be scared and there's a lot going on, but she takes off into the woods and runs into something (my TV sucks, so I'm not sure if you could tell what it was or not) and it almost completely incapacitates her. She spends most of the rest of the movie (about 15-20 minutes) crawling and hobbling around. Wouldn't adrenaline kick in? Maybe I'm being too picky, but from there she continues to bring attention to herself by crashing into things and hiding directly under a light source in a barn while trying to make a call on an old radio (what?). It was frustrating to see the creepiest movie I've seen in a long time with an actually accomplished cast falling into the same old tropes you're used to when watching a slasher flick. Liv even hides out in a closet (or pantry) in the kitchen while the masks wonder around being weird. At that point it kind of went from "natural successor" to "I've seen this before."

But then, the last few minutes brought be right back in. SPOILERS follow. Liv gets captured and tied up along with Steve. They're sitting there in the daytime as the killers stand in front of them. Liv asks why they're doing all this to which one responds "you were home." Creepy, right? This could have literally happened to anyone with an out-of-the-way house. That sense of randomness is pretty scary to me, like it could happen to me (which is why I live around lots of other people). Anyway, they take their masks off (though we don't get to see their real faces) and then each take turns stabbing Liv and Steve. It cuts away, but you still hear the sounds of both the knife and Liv and it's pretty stomach churning. Good work on that, sound guys.

The finale really got me though. There's two Mormon boys walking their bike along the rode as the truck with the killers passes by and stops. You're not sure what they're going to do, but one of the girls just asks for one of their pamplets and they drive on, one girl saying to the other something like "It'll be easier next time." What? She was new to the gang? The boys then go on to discover Liv and Steve in the house and those bastards got a huge scare out of me. I lurched so hard that I felt it in my leg until I went to sleep about an hour later. I can't think of the last time a movie got me like that. Even I'm not going to spoil it for you though.

Seriously, go rent this movie. I know we're supposed to be getting into the family/holiday season, but dang man, The Strangers is a treat for any horror movie fan.

Halloween Scene: Mother of Tears (2007)

2009-03-18T13:45:00.000-04:00

2008-11-04 9:06:42 pm

As regular readers will remember, my review of the first of Dario Argento's Three Mothers trilogy, Suspiria was a bit of a disaster. Well, I made it through Mother of Tears and, while I didn't necessarily understand it and it took me two nights to actually watch it, it was a crazy movie. Aside from Dario's daughter Asia running around naked for part of the flick (which has gotta be awkward, I'd assume) there's plenty of other nudity and gore, all the things you might expect from Dario.

I'm not going to get into the plot too much, but basically people start going crazy after some kind of evil gets released (I assume it's the Mother of Tears). The main parts I remember are the jerkiest monkey since Pirates of the Caribbean, a woman getting cut open and then strangled with her own intestines and then a woman getting impaled by what looks like the top of the Washington Monument. Oh and a witch girl getting her head smashed in a train door.

I completely admit that I wasn't really paying that much attention, but my expectations were pretty low after Suspiria. After reading up on the trilogy, I didn't feel like I missed anything by not seeing Inferno, so don't worry about that. But I'm also not a huge Argento fan, so I wasn't really looking forward to it. But it's definitely worth checking out if for no other reason than the crazy awesome gore. Plus the ladies are hot. What more do you need? A coherent, easy to follow story? Bah.

Halloween Scene: Friday the 13th Part III (1982) & The Final Chapter (1984)

2009-03-18T13:43:00.001-04:00

2008-11-04 7:56:28 pm

As I mentioned before F13 is a weird series. Not until Part 3 do we get the world famous hockey mask, picked off the body of a dead jokester, no less! Three also doesn't take place on a camp (nor does 4, but they're all around Crystal Lake still).

As many of you probably know, part 3 was originally shown in 3-D, which makes me totally jealous that I haven't gotten to see a horror movie in 3-D (I can't wait for My Bloody Valentine 3-D!). I also wish they would have released the DVD in 3-D because it's very clearly shot with the 3-D audience in mind (the yo-yo dropping down towards the camera, TWO eye balls jumping out at you and countless ends of farming tools sticking out at the audience). The shots just look kind of strange without being in 3-D.

The basic idea is that a group of friends go to a cabin the day after the events of F13 Part 2. They run afoul of a trio of bikers and Jason and start getting killed off one by one. There's a few interesting characters. One of which is the main girl who had a run in with Jason in the woods a few years ago when she and her parents still lived in the house. She ran away from home and fell asleep in the woods only to be dragged away by Jason and end up in her own bed (?). Not sure what that's supposed to mean, but it was kinda cool to see Jason post Part 1 and pre 2. There's also the fat kid with low self esteem who keeps playing tricks on people to get a scare and (hopefully) a laugh. He's really freaking annoying. We've all known people like this in real life. And not only is his character annoying, but his antics and the fake-out scares that come along with them get real old real quick. And why the heck does he have a working harpoon gun? Or a hockey mask? Oh well, his one positive contribution is that hockey mask. So I guess that's cool.

The kills are fun, and the creative team really had fun with the kills, especially everything that happened in the barn. There's a scene towards the end where the main girl gets the upper hand and actually hangs Jason. She thinks everything is cool and opens the door to see Jason hanging just inches off the ground. He seems dead at first, but then he pulls himself up (and shows off his mutilated face) and continues to attack her. Great stuff.

It even looks like Jason might be done for as he's lying there at the end and the beginning of Part 4. Of course that doesn't last as he wakes up in the morgue as a dude's trying to make out with a girl. Creepy. From there we move to another group of kids renting a house, but with this flick we also get a mother and her two kids (one of which is horror mask and computer obsessed Corey Feldman) AND a hunter/woodsman who turns out to be avenging his sister who died in Part 2. Oh and a pair of twins who just happen to show up in the woods.

One of the soon-to-be-murdered kids is a young Crispen Glover! I love playing spot the future star in horror movies. And you get TWO in this one, which kind of makes up for the lack of big names in 2 and 3. Instead of the low self esteem guy you get the over confident smooth guy who never gets the girl. In this flick he ends up watching a stag film for the last 20 minutes of the movie while his friends get killed throughout the house. Until, of course, he dies.

What I like about this one is that you're not really sure who's going to survive. There's about three candidates towards the end and one of the potential survivors doesn't make which kind of surprised me (even though this is the F13 flick I remember most clearly, probably because it was the last one that Rickey and I watched when we lived together). The actual ending's pretty crazy as Corey Feldman's sister keeps running back and forth between her house the other one while Corey's up in his bathroom shaving his head (which he must have done at super speed) all in an attempt to distract Jason by dressing up like a young Jason. Make sense? I guess the inhuman killing machine is actually pretty dumb (he got tricked by a girl who put on his dead mother's sweater and pushed her hair behind her ears in 2). Anyway, it works for just enough time so that sis can stab Jason in his maskless (and gross) face with a machete which he then falls forward on and we see it carve through his face. Whew, glad that's over. BUT WAIT, his finger twitches and Corey goes bizonkers smashing him in the head with the machete. Awesome, thanks again to Tom Savini.

As you can probably tell from the title this was supposed to be the last flick in the Jason storyline, but they do end it with a weird freeze frame focusing on Corey as he looks creepily at the camera. I'm not sure what the plan was supposed to be for him, but I do remember the character comes back in a later flick. Oh, also, sidenote, no more kids in horror movies named Tommy please. I'm psyched to watch the rest of this box set. Yeah!

Halloween Scene: Bug (2006)

2009-03-18T13:40:00.000-04:00

2008-11-02 7:29:14 am

Bug's a strange movie, but it's a good one. It's based on a play and it feels like it seeing as how most of the movie takes place within Ashley Judd's apartment or hotel room or whatever the heck kind of place she lives. The basic story is that she meets this dude played exceptionally by Michael Shannon who, after a while, starts explaining to her about a military plot to plant bugs into him and other people. Basically, it's a psychological thriller as we're never quite sure whether it's real or just the rantings of a Shannon's crazy man.

I haven't seen crazy played so convincingly well in quite a while. Judd already plays a down and out woman whose kid got kidnapped and whose husband (played by Harry Conick Jr.) has just gotten out of jail. But as Shannon's tales start to effect her, she gets crazier and crazier and it's amazing. Towards the end they even reach Dr. Loomis levels of nuttiness, going so far as to cover Judd's entire place in tin foil, even as other people come in and out of their lives trying to get both of them out of there.

Oh and for anyone that might not know, director William Friedkin is the guy who directed The Exorcist. Bug is definitely no Exorcist, but it is nice to see an older filmmaker still making good movies 30 years or so after they were initially making great films.

It's also nice to see Judd playing such a great and creepy role. I don't really know her work that well, but she seems like the type that wouldn't do this kind of movie, so I'm glad she did (I'm not sure if that makes sense or not).

Even though the flick feels awfully long, it's only about an hour and forty minutes. It's mostly because the scenes are mostly in the same locale and the shots tend to linger longer than most other movies. I do recommend it, if for nothing else than seeing a master filmmaker still doing what he does best (giving folks the willies), actors absolutely killing their roles and a story that remains ambiguous and yet still convincing even up to it's non traditional ending. Oh there's also a teeth pulling scene that is way more Running Man than The Dentist. Yeesh.

Halloween Scene: Friday the 13th 1 (1980) and 2 (1981)

2009-03-18T13:38:00.001-04:00

2008-11-02 6:26:01 am

I know, I know, Halloween was yesterday (or two days ago, technically, I guess by now), but I'm not done with my favorite holiday. In fact, I'll probably keep the Halloween Scene reviews coming all year. I'm also thinking about giving November a "What I'm Thankful For" theme, but we'll get there when we get there.

For now, I'm gonna talk about the first two Friday the 13th movies, which I've been watching over the past few days. I've found that I'm able to stay up less late every night, so it actually took me three freaking days to watch Part 2. It's embarrassing. Anyway, F13 is, I think Rickey's favorite slasher series partly because of his love of camp movies. Halloween's still my personal favorite but that doesn't mean I don't love me some Jason. In fact, this year I picked up the F13 box set used on Amazon on a lark. So let's get into it.

As Scream should have taught those of you who didn't already know, Jason's mom Pamela Voorhees is the killer. What really blows me away about the F13 series is that the creators really just set out to make one kind of movie and then it morphed into this completely different thing. The original has a mom killing slutty camp instructors because her son died due to irresponsible counselors years before. It's not a good reason by any means, but it makes sense. There's not even any mystical stuff until the very end when Jason comes leaping out of the water looking like a too-cooked hot dog. And from there they ran with it. Two's got a Jason who still seems like a regular dude, just a real angry one. Heck, he doesn't even have the hockey mask until 3. How crazy is that? Think about it, it'd be like Michael Myers not getting the Shatner mask until part 3...er 4 I guess.

So, again, Part 1 features a young dude trying to restart Camp Crystal Lake, or Camp Blood as some people refer to it. As usual, we're not dealing with camps full of kids, but only older counselors getting things ready ahead of time (cause it would just be weird of those Voorhees folks were killing under agers). Mrs. V is killing people at the very camp that her son Jason died at many years ago because...um...she's not a fan of forgiving and forgetting. Anyway, the only counselor of note is one Kevin Bacon who dies a pretty rad death thanks to Dawn of the Dead effects master Tom Savini (a personal favorite of mine). Tom's deft hand offers up good looking death scenes all around.

What really gets me about F13 is the idea of this old broad being the killer. Who'd think of that now? I mean, it's fairly implausible as she takes down a number of young, nubile teenagers. Good show Ms. Voorhees.

Part 2 doesn't have any famous faces (outside of the horror world at least), but it does feature Jason as an adult. It's interesting because this one takes place five years after the original which really came out one year apart. I'm guessing they did it that way so that Jason could be a teenager by now and ready to kill people on his own. And how does he start out? By hunting down the one that got away from the original and icing her in her house. But, like I mentioned above, this isn't the Jason you've come to know and love as he sports a pair of overalls, a blue checkered shirt and a bag over his head with only one eyehole cut out. Come on Jason, I bet you'd be able to aim that pitchfork a little better if you cut yourself a second.

This time around the story revolves around a guy setting up a camp on Crystal Lake, but not in the exact same spot as the infamous Camp Blood. But, hey, that's Jason's hood (no pun intended), so he's not too happy about it and starts killing teenagers. This time, instead of the campers sneaking off to go make out and what not (which still happens), they get split up as half go into town to a bar and the other half stay the camp. The ones at the camp buy it first and then the ones who come home. It's a nice way to split things up and at least it doesn't completely mimic the first one. The kills are pretty good in this one too.

Man, I really do love these old school horror franchises. As you know I had a problem with the first Texas Chainsaw Massacre remakeTexas Chainsaw Massacre remake, but kind of liked it's sequel. But what really bugs me about the remakes is that they cut off the possibilities for future sequels. I'm actually excited about the F13 remake or reboot or whatever they're calling it, but I'm bummed that I won't get a F13 part 11 in the same old continuity. Sure, some of the movies start to suck, but there's something cool about being in a long line of movies. It's probably the comic book fan in me that just loves continuity and all that. Ah well, I'm still excited about the remake rolling the first three movies into one and making Jason more of a fast outdoorsman. And, let's be adult about this, I can always go back and watch the originals. I'm not one of these people who considers my childhood movies sacred. Get over yourselves. Just because they made a Lost Boys 2 or an Indiana Jones sequel you didn't like, doesn't do anything to the other movies you love. You can always go back and enjoy the originals no matter what anyone does to the franchises down the road, that's why we've got DVD players folks.

Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999)

2009-03-18T13:37:00.000-04:00

2008-11-02 12:52:13 am

Just when I think my tolerance for mockumentaries has ended a movie like 1999's Drop Dead Gorgeous drops into my lap (really DVD player) via Em's friend from work. I remember when this movie came out, I don't think it was out for too long, but a few of my friends went to see it when I was working or something and they reported back that it wasn't very good. Sorry friends, you're wrong.

DDG has a very Christopher Guest-like feel to it, but with a crispness that his films tend to lack. And you can thank writer Lona Williams (who also plays the third pageant judge) and director Michael Patrick Jann who directed a bunch of State and Reno 911 episodes. The story takes a documentary look at a small town beauty pageant that's very clearly rigged. There also seems to be a high mortality and injury rate for any contestant who isn't Denise Richards.

Our hero is Kristen Dunst who is just a sweet young lady. Too bad for her she's competing against Denise Richards, whose mom (Kirstie Alley) won back in the day. She's also married to one of the richest dudes in town, so they kind of run things.

A big part of the humor comes from the small town atmosphere, kind of like Napoleon Dynamite, but way less out there. There's also a great amount of black humor as the slowish townsfolk don't catch on to the incredibly obvious murder plot unfolding around them. Even the cops.

Another big source of fun for me was checking out all the stars in the flick. Aside from Kirsten and Denise, you've also got Ellen Barkin, Allison Janney, Brittany Murphy, Nora Dunn, Will Sasso, Thomas Lennon and ADAM WEST! The girl who played Bruce Willis' daughter who also dated Ross on Friends is in there as well (yeah, I'm a closet Friends fan). Everyone really sold their roles and seemed to have fun doing this really funny movie.

I've never been a fan of Denise Richards, but even she's pretty good in this and Dunst freaking shines. I'm a huge Bring It On fan and love her in that. And I checked out Virgin SuicidesVirgin Suicides earlier this year which she was amazing in and of course Interview With a Vampire. Man, what happened to her? Maybe my intense dislike of Spider-Man 2 and 3 has tainted my view of Ms. Dunst, which is really too bad because she's awesome. I also really dug Brittany Murphy. Her roll was small, but she played the crazy local girl with awesome flair and abandon. She freaking steals the show every time she's on screen.

It's also satisfying as our hero eventually gets what's coming to her as do the villains. But it doesn't have a typical Hollywood ending, it's actually pretty funny. All in all, this movie is definitely worth checking out. It's funny and actually does the mockumentary genre justice unlike a lot of movies nowadays. If you're into Reno 911, Christopher Guest movies or dig any of the above actresses, this is definitely the movie for you.

Zero The Hero: A Review of Brad Meltzer's The Zero Game

2009-03-18T13:36:00.001-04:00

2008-10-31 1:08:04 am

As I think I've mentioned before I am a very slow reader. I also have a tendency to get really into a book and then let it sit on my bedside table for a while as I switch to comics and trades for a while. Well, I picked Brad Meltzer's The Zero Game a while ago on the discount table. I started reading it a while back and have been on and off for a while.

But I'll tell you what, Meltzer really killed it with Zero Game. I don't know if I enjoyed it quite as much as I did The Millionaires, but it still had a lot of the elements of his writing that I've come to recognize along with a few new tricks, which is always impressive.

Meltzer is the master at short, action filled chapters that keep the pages turning. And just about every chapter ends with a cliffhanger of some kind and then the next chapter picks up with another character, so you're drawn back into THAT story.

But I can't start talking about my favorite aspect of this book without SPOILER ruining a twist about a quarter of the way through. So consider yourself warned. We start seeing this tale of political intrigue through the eyes of one character in the first person and then the unexpected happens. That character dies. I was shocked. I don't think I've ever read a book where the first person narative changes in such a manner (it switches to the victim's friend). It's a very effective storytelling element because you're really not sure if our new hero, Harris, or his inadvertent sidekick Viv will really make it through to the end.

Aside from our main characters, Meltzer also serves up one of the coolest villains in the form of Janos. He's the unusual kind of super slick criminal that doesn't let anything stop him. He's got enough experience under his belt to handle any and all situations and does so. The fact that he's being given the runaround by a government dude like Harris only lends to Harris' credit as a smart, creative hero.

Oh, there's also a bunch of name references for comic book fans. There's characters named Dinah and Barry. I feel like there were a few more (like three on one page) but I forget what they are now. It was actually a little distracting, but I can appreciate his homage.

If you've only read Meltzer's comic book work, I highly recommend you check out one of his novels. Even though his Green Arrow arc is one of my favorites, he seems to have a hard time translating the break neck speed and super fast pacing of his novels into his comics (especially his JLoA work). There's a reason he's a big time author folks and you should check out one of his big time books. I'm also looking to add Book of Lies to the huge pile of books next to my bed.

Halloween Scene: Halloween 5 (1989)

2009-03-18T13:35:00.000-04:00

2008-10-28 2:22:39 am

This might sound funny, but I keep watching the Halloween movies expecting to not like each subsequent sequel. But I'll tell you, I dig H5 for the most part too. Sure it has it's problems, but I Michael Myers is still my favorite slasher and I just love seeing him skulking behind clueless dudes and dudettes. And you know what? Danielle Harris is awesome as Jamie. She's 12 in this one (she was 11 in the previous one) and I think she does a damn good job of acting scared. It might seem easy at first thought and I've never personally been chased by a maniac with a knife, but I feel like her fear fills up the screen just as much as the images. Good for her.

The basic idea behind H5 is that Jamie's getting hunted by her uncle, Michael Myers but folks like Dr. Loomis, Jamie's step sister Rachel and Rachel's friend Tina are standing between The Shape and this little girl. But as you might remember from the very end of H4 Jamie stabbed her step mom. They kind of explain that away by saying Jamie was influenced by her uncle. In this flick, Jamie's got some kind of psychic connection to her uncle that gives her a kind of Spidey Sense when Michael's killing someone.

Donald Pleasence's Dr. Loomis gets even crazier in this sequel and it's awesome. Watching the transformation from movie to movie has been pretty fun. In this one he threatens another police officer and grabs Jamie as bait. It's a great bit of business because we're not sure if Loomis is really nuts and wants to end the madness by letting Michael kill Jamie or if it's a trap for Michael.

I also really like the opening credits. You get treated to scenes of a knife slashing through something that turns out to be a pumpkin. There's just something so brutal about the knife work. It does a good job of setting the sometimes brutal tone that the movie has.

But it's not all love and hugs for H5. There's a character that he only see in profile or at ankle level dubbed The Man in Black that breaks Michael out of jail at the end. He seems to have only been introduced to do just that. He's not a character he's just a plot point.

Another problem I have is how easily duped the Haddonfield police department is. For a force that now has a SWAT team (hey, it's about time, if for no other occasion than the yearly murderfest, they should get their own tank) they make a really stupid mistake. They're all camped out at the Myers' house until Jamie has a vision of Michael attacking the children's hospital. Loomis and the cops actually listen, but then ALL OF THE COPS leave the house and go to the hospital. Really guys? You've never heard of a bait and switch? Sheesh. Loomis knows right away.

Sure there are stumbling blocks along the way, but I think H5 looks pretty good for a movie rushed into production a year after H4 came out. And yet again, I find myself not looking forward to Curse of Michael Myers, except for the performance of a young Paul Rudd. After that I've got H20, Resurrection and, huh, the remake. I'm REALLY not looking forward to those three.

Halloween Sccene: House (1986)

2009-03-18T13:34:00.001-04:00

2008-10-25 8:13:07 pm

I went to Blockbuster last night looking for something without really know what. I went through the new releases and there wasn't really anything I wanted to watch on my own (Em hates horror movies, so I watch them after she goes to bed). I found myself in the not great, but not awful horror section looking around and found two movies I wanted to check out. One was Halloween H20 which I still haven't seen. That was going to be the pick until my eyes panned down and I saw a DVD copy of House. I knew nothing about this movie, but remember seeing it all the time when I used to go to the video store with my parents. The creepy hand always freaked me out. I'm not sure why I never rented it once I turned 16, but that's another story. The cover I remember seeing is below:

House won out over H20 (partly because I haven't watched H5 or 6 yet this year), but I ended up falling asleep around 11:30 last night. I did wake up around 1:30, tried to watch it then, but kept getting freaked out by the old lady as I fell in and out of sleep and decided to just call it a night and go back to bed.

I lucked out today and Em took a nap, which gave me time to check House out and I kind of love this movie. It's not a great film and it's not all that scary, though I do really like the practical demon/monster/zombie make up and effects. It's kind of creepy, well acted and just well put together, but it's also fun.

Just check out the people who helped put this movie together. It's directed by by Steve Miner who also did Friday the 13th Parts 2 and 3 and Halloween H20 (weird coincidence, huh? that I was choosing between two Miner movies). The script was based on a story by Fred Dekker, the dude who wrote Monster Squad and Night of the Creeps (a former Manly Movie Mamajama pick). Plus you've got William Kat who used to be the Greatest American Hero, Cheers' George Wendt and Night Court's Richard Moll in starring rolls. Seeing Richard Moll in a monster roll kind of validates all of the weirdness he gave off on Night Court (anyone else remember the series finale where he got beamed up by aliens?).

House is basically a haunted house movie with some monster, zombie and Vietnam War moments thrown in as well. Katt plays a writer who decides to live in his aunt's old house after she hangs herself. It's also the house that he and his wife lived in when their son mysteriously disappeared. He's there working on a book about his experiences during the Vietnam War, but also getting hassled by a very cool looking monster in the closet and other tricks the house is playing on him to get rid of him. Meanwhile George Wendt plays his nosey neighbor who gets pulled along for the ride because he can't mind his own business. Moll plays Katt's army buddy who he refused to kill and ended up getting captured by the enemy. His ghost comes back later and looks AWESOME. We're never quite sure why the house is being such a jerk, but it doesn't really matter as the story focuses on Katt beating the house and eventually getting his son back. It's kind of a fist pumping ending which I appreciate. And you know what? I don't need an explanation. As long as the movie makes enough sense to not make me mad, I'm happy with it.

House isn't Jaws, Halloween or TCM, but it is a fun movie that kept my attention the whole time. I think you'd be hard pressed to find a movie like this nowadays. It's somewhat lighthearted, funny when it's supposed to be, happy, sad and sports some of the coolest looking practical effects I've seen in a while.

Halloween Scene: The Last House on the Left (1972)

2009-03-18T13:33:00.001-04:00

2008-10-25 7:28:45 pm

I had been warned to actually not watch Last House by fellow horror fan Rickey Purdin (follow the link to check out some of his recent horror related artwork), mostly because of the multiple scenes of rape, sexual assault and violence against women. He actually told me about this moments after Blockbuster sent me an E-mail letting me know Last House was on its way (when I really wanted The Strangers!). I asked if it was worse than I Spit On Your Grave and he said no, so I figured I'd watch it anyway, it being Wes Craven's first flick and all.

Here's the thing about the movie, it's completely all over the place. It starts off as a couple of teens having a good time, then jumps into horror territory as they get snatched by four escaped criminals (killers, rapists, thieves and junkies). You'd think it would stay pretty serious after that, but Craven throws a number of curve balls at the viewer. The most prominent ones to me were the musical choices. You've got some pretty intense scenes followed by really upbeat pop music. I'm not sure if it's there to undermine the mood of the movie or to lighten the mood.

The other curve ball comes in the form of two lazy, bumbling police officers. I thought they would get vindicated when they quickly realize the criminals are in their jurisdiction only to be shown as complete jokes when they run out of gas and later try to get a ride in a chicken truck. Huh? They show up at the very end but all the damage has been done by then.

And by damage I mean that the criminals leave the city with the two girls in the trunk of their car. As they're driving through the sticks, the car just happens to break down right in front of the main girl's house. Maybe I missed the reason why they were heading in that direction in the first place, but that just seemed ridiculous. The criminals then do terrible things to the girls in the woods and eventually make their way up to the main girl's parents' house where they plan to rob and/or kill them. The parents figure out what's up and take their revenge on the criminals. All the while the film seems real in the same way that Texas Chainsaw Massacre does with the graininess of the footage. There's a remake coming out soon, that I'm sure will look like all the other horror movies coming out today. The closest modern filmmakers get to this is shooting on video or handheld digital, but it just doesn't feel the same. But, hey, maybe in 30 years when movies are implanted directly into our corneas it won't matter.

Like Rickey, I found the sexual assault scenes to be sickening, but most of them happened off screen. In a weird way, it's hard to stay focused on any one terrible thing these terrible people do as the mood keeps bouncing around. I wonder if Craven was playing with his audience or just not really sure what he was doing. I'm guessing the former.

The one element of this movie that I did enjoy immensely was the fact that the parents got revenge on their daughter's SPOILER killer. So often with horror movies, all you get are scenes of the bad guys slaughtering kids and whatnot, with the kids getting away for a short time just to get recaptured or getting away from the trouble. It feels good to watch someone actually get revenge all in the same movie instead of waiting for the sequel.

Last House is not the kind of movie I'd watch over and over again, but I am glad I saw it, if for no other reason than I want to see all the works of Wes Craven. I also can't really recommend it, unless you too want to see what Wes Craven was working on 24 years before he did Scream and 12 years before Nightmare on Elm Street. Next up on the Craven train will probably be Last House on the Left unless I break down and buy the new Nightmare on Elm Street four packs this Halloween season.

Society Pages: Mr. Terrific

2009-03-18T13:32:00.000-04:00

2008-10-24 1:32:46 am

Okay, I was going to show off my Dr. Mid-Nite sketch first, but Mr. Terrific here didn't turn out so well, so I kind of want to get him out of the way. Wow, this one went wrong. I re-drew almost everything except for the torso a number of times and I probably should have re-drawn that as well. He's kind of lopsided and one hand is bigger than the other. Ugh.

Here's the awesome Johnson original:

Then my lumpy, lopsided pre-colored verision:

And the final, colored piece, yeesh:

Haha, the finished product definitely looks like the kind of thing I would have drawn when I was about 10. Oh man...

Halloween Scene: Last House in the Woods (2006)

2009-03-18T13:31:00.000-04:00

2008-10-23 11:48:33 pm

As you can probably imagine, my expectations were pretty low going into tonight's Ghost House Underground flick Last House in the Woods. I actually only chose to check this one out tonight because it boasted the shortest run time of the stack of newer DVDs I've gotten from work. But, I'll tell you what, I was pleasantly surprised.

I'll get this out of the way in the beginning, this flick seems heavily influenced by Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Now, I didn't initially get this vibe as you start off with a car accident and then a car kill followed by some character development stuff. It's kind of funny because as the poop was starting to hit the fan I thought "Hey, this has kind of TCM vibe to it" mostly due to the shaky camera that added to the realism of the film. Then, not more than 15 minutes later, I'm watching a dinner scene and a mentally challenged killer wearing an apron hoists a chainsaw and hacks into someone. But, really, aside from these few minutes, the movie draws more from the feeling and themes of TCM without directly swiping. I haven't seen Last House on the Left yet, so I'm not sure how much it pilfers from that or if it's just a title nod.

I really wasn't sure what to think about this flick as it started. After the initial kills the focus switches to our heroine who's having boy trouble. It took me a few minutes to really start paying attention, so I'm not sure if she's dealing with the same guy the whole time, but there's a weird scene where the dude she's with wants to have sex with her while she draws, to see what she'll draw. Those crazy kids. Our main girl Aurora ends up in the woods with her boyfriend. They're driving and stop to make out or something and then have yet another talk about sex (Italians are romantic, remember).

Meanwhile we get a view of three meathead dudes driving in a car talking about drugs and having sexual encounters with the ladies. The funny thing is that I swear I've seen these dudes while driving around Jersey. Anyway, I kind of like them right off the bat because they're total jerks and don't care and just seem kind of funny. That lasts about three minutes until they pull off so one of them can pee and then decide beat the crap out of Aurora's boyfriend and nearly rape her. Jeez.

Luckily this slick looking dude who looks like a combination of Larry from Perfect Strangers and Ethan from Lost shows up and pulls a gun on the meatheads. They take off and the dude and his wife take Aurora and her boyfriend back to their place. Things seem okay for awhile until the dude hits on Aurora and then his freaking ugly kid shows up. And man, this kid ranks up there with the kid from The Ring as far as creepiness goes. He's got blood on his face and sports a set of gnarled teeth that look more like fans. From here we're treated to a game of cat and mouse as Aurora tries to escape only to run into some truly disgusting looking hillbillies (or the Italian equivalent) who are in league with the bad dude.

Enter the TCM scenes which are quickly followed up by the true game changer as the meathead dudes' care breaks down and they end up at the bad dude's house and decide to rob it. It's really nice to see a new element injected to these kinds of movies. I may hate these guys, but the movie flips and makes them the heroes as they take on the bad guys. And there's a real sense of dread as they wander through the house, having little-to-no idea what's going on or how many people are in the house. And I really like the turnaround of the worst of them becoming the de facto hero.

I don't want to get into the ending too much, but it offers up a kind of explanation for these characters and why their ugly, evil-looking child eats human flesh that at least makes sense. I'm not quite sure if I buy the resolution to the conflict, but I liked the movie enough to give it another view.

I can't believe I haven't mentioned this yet, but the gore is AWESOME. There's a "dude trying to put his intestines back in" scene and a tumor popping scene. Oh man, they are squirm-inducing and awesome, but are never the sole focus of the action just a great addition to it. Oh and as a complete sidenote both of the main women in this flick (Aurora and the crazy kid's mom) are HOT!

I do have a few complaints though. One is the lighting. It's really weird. Even when it's dark out there seems to be a lot of light. I don't think it's day for night, but it definitely does seem natural. The other thing that bugged me is the dubbing. I know that's two dubbing complaints in one week for one film series, but it's SO distracting. And I'm not even talking about the voices themselves but the way they're integrated into the soundtrack makes them sound like they're floating around and not nailed down in the film itself. They just don't sound right and it has the potential to take viewers out of the movie. It's one of the reasons I didn't get absorbed right away.

So, here's the current rundown of Ghost House Underground movies. Things are starting to look up!

MUST SEE
Dance of the Dead
Last House on the Left

CHECK OUT
Dark Floors

MEH
Trackman

GAH, NO!
Brotherhood of Blood

Halloween Scene: Silent Hill (2006)

2009-03-18T13:28:00.003-04:00

2008-10-23 3:48:17 am

Silent Hill is one of those movies that make me wonder about who the intended audience for this movie is. Now, obviously, they're trying to market this thing to the millions of people who have bought the Silent Hill games over the years. That goes without saying. And I think it can be safely assumed that a large number of the people that like getting the crap scared out of them while playing a video game also probably like scary movies. But what about those of us who don't play the games, but do see the movie? Do the filmmakers think there's enough in the movie for Silent Hill virgins to understand?

For the most part, Silent Hill does a good job of explaining the world the movie takes place in. I actually like the explanation for why Silent Hill (it's the name of a town that's been closed off due to a coal fire burning under the city) is so full of terrified religious folks and warped monsters. The one thing that leaves me puzzled though is the pyramid head guy. He's got such a crazy design element to him that I love, but I don't think he ever gets explained. Now, I have no idea if he's given a back story in the games and he doesn't really have much to do in the movie, but it just got me thinking.

For the most part, I dug Silent Hill. There's definitely flaws, but overall the effects were pretty great, the few deaths we get to see very graphic and the story interesting enough (I haven't seen something like it in a while).

But there are problems. One of them is the inciting incident. There's this girl (the creepy one on the box above) who draws these crazy pictures and has terrible dreams about a place called Silent Hill. So what does her adoptive mother do? She freaking takes her daughter to said town, even though everyone (including a lady cop) tries to stop her. I'm guessing this is the plot device used in the game, but it just flies in the face of logic. I understand wanting to help your child, but is taking her to the place that terrifies her really the best idea? Methinks not.

Oh well, once she gets into the town, there's a slow build to the craziness and monsters that eventually fill the screen. But it doesn't just go all out crazy with the monsters as they introduce the quasi-religious element I mentioned before. It's got a pretty good sense of pacing, though it does clock in around two hours and can drag a little.

My biggest pet peeve with the movie is that when it's dark, it's very, very dark. And I'm not talking about the mood, I'm talking about the visuals. The first time the mom encounters something supernatural you pretty much have no idea what they are until the little bastards start glowing like embers and even then they're hard to get a read on.

Again, these are just little problems, Silent Hill is worth checking out I think. It's not an A+ movie, but it's on the better side as far as the video game-based movies I've seen (Super Mario Bros., House of the Dead, DOOM). I'm not one of those people who think that video game movies are a lost cause. I think a good writer can look at any kind of source material and find something really compelling about it and create a wonderful screenplay around it, maybe we just haven't seen that yet because the movies are trying to just recreate the games. Really, I'm just waiting for someone to pick up my Roadblaster and Burger Time scripts. So if you're interested, drop me a line.

Halloween Scene: Trackman (2007)

2009-03-18T13:28:00.001-04:00

2008-10-22 4:35:01 am

Trackman's not a great movie. Really it's not even that good. It's a Russian flick about some bank robbers who take their hostages underground and start running amok of (if the legend is true) a guy who is related to the Chernobyl incident somehow. I'll be honest, I wasn't really paying much attention to this movie as I was finishing up the coloring work on the Dr. Fate sketch below (you don't need a link, just scroll down a bit) and then posting the blog. It's your run of the mill slasher flick, but this time with a really cool looking killer who has a thing about removing eyes with a machine he seems to have built for that express purpose and the gore looks great. Aside from that there's not a lot going on even though I usually love the "normal people doing their thing until their lives are interrupted by/they stumble into something insane. In this case it's a hostage situation gets interrupted by a crazy slasher.

There is a great scene where one of the guys actually gets to fight back for a pretty extensive amount of time (a minute or two, maybe). Usually there's that one or two punches before the bad guy just axes you or whatever. This time he got hit with a blowtorch which is even worse.

A problem I had with this movie which actually doesn't reflect back on the filmmakers is the dubbing. Oh man, I swear I've actually heard one of these guys in a Hong Kong action movie. The double edge sword here is that I usually fall asleep when watching a movie with subtitles (cause I'm lazy), so I'll often put the dub version on. In this case it's the default setting, but man is it distracting. I could barely finish coloring! But it's not just him, there's even a dude who they gave a kind of urban voice too which doesn't seem to fit. Why can't they ever get convincing actors to do this stuff? I think it would have jumped up a bit in my opinion of the voice over work was a little bit more subtle or just emoted more. Ah well.

That brings my current Ghost House Underground ranks as thus:

MUST SEE
Dance of the Dead

CHECK OUT
Dark Floors

MEH
Trackman

GAH, NO!
Brotherhood of Blood

Society Pages: Dr. Fate

2009-03-18T12:31:00.001-04:00

2008-10-22 3:59:15 am

I was talking to my buddies Ben
and Rickey about one of their many train rides in to their big time city jobs. They had been talking about picking a superhero team and drawing that team's members one by one. They told me about the idea, so I piped up that I wanted to draw my favorite team, the JSA. For more on their sketches, keep an eye out on their respective blogs.

Seeing as how I'm not much of an artist, I must resort to looking at an existing image and drawing it out. Basically copying it, but not tracing. I actually started on a Dr. Mid-Nite that I'm pretty happy with, but I left it at work and haven't had a chance to finish coloring it. Well, tonight Em and I were at Target and I picked up a 50 pack of Crayola Super Tip Washable Markers so I could really show off the JSA's vibrant costumes (there's even 12 Silly Scents markers!). Well, I was pretty excited about my new markers (like I used to get as a kid when I got a brand new box of crayons) so I decided to give another JSAer the Dietsch treatment. Dr. Fate won the spot and here it is, first the image I copied, then the black and white and finally the colored version.

For what it's worth, I start off with a pencil, sketching out the details and even where the shadows fall. Then I go over and outline things with a thin Sharpie. After that I fill in the shadows with a thicker black Sharpie.

After finishing the outlines and erasing any leftover pencil marks, it's time to color. Crayola markers are a bit light and don't saturate the paper as well, but they're cheap and I really like seeing the drawings in color. Black and white is cool, but I love seeing those basic colors come to life. If Sharpie made a full line of cheaper markers, I'd be all over that. Of course, the problem would be the headaches. At least with the Crayola's I'm guaranteed not to get a headache.

With the drawing over all, I skipped the cool hand effect which removes the light source. Even so, I still kept the shadows, but ditched the light spots in the original. I think this one came out pretty well. Em helped give me a second pair of eyes which helped. I've still got no idea what I'm doing and should definitely study anatomy or at least get a super poseable action figure that I can use as an artist model. Heck I could even use one of those How To Draw books, wonder where I could get one of those...

Halloween Scene/Book Vs. Movie: The Stepford Wives (1975)

2009-03-18T12:29:00.001-04:00

2008-10-21 2:36:09 pm

Sometime this year I picked up a copy of The Stepford Wives by Ira Levin at the fantastic Building 19 (one of the best things about New England, as I've talked about before). I'm a slow reader but the book was pretty short, so it didn't take me too long to get through it. And it was a good read. I was impressed with how much Levin was able to fit into (I think) less than 120 pages. Not really knowing more than the basic "something's weird about the women of Stepford, they're TOO good at being house wives" idea, I was pleasantly surprised as I read through and found a building sense of dread as Joanna loses friends and a little bit of her mind as all the women around her either are or are turned into the "perfect housewife."

It also hit on one of the themes that I personally find to be the scariest in fiction/life, which is the main person telling the truth, but no one believes them (as I mentioned in the my riveting review of Dying to Belong). You really get a sense of that as Joanna's liberated female friends start joining the clean house club.

Since it's been a while since I've read the book, I'll talk more about the movie which watched yesterday, though the movie follows along pretty closely. In the movie version, which was written by the insanely brilliant screenwriter William Goldman, Joanna and her family move from New York City to Stepford, CT. Everything's fine at first, though you start to see some cracks in Joanna's relationship with her husband. It seems like he's been making a lot of big decisions without really consulting with her, like moving and joining up with a men only men's club in Stepford. As she meets the other women of Stepford, Joanna comes to realize that they're all the poster children for good housekeeping, worried more about the appearance of their homes and children than any real social issues. This doesn't sit well with Joanna or her new friend Bobbie who also recently moved to Stepford. Both women try to find other like-minded women in town, but come up short with one exception, Charmaine (played by Ginger from Gilligan's Island!). As time goes on, Charmaine goes from free wheeling to kitchen cleaning, which completely freaks Bobby out. Both Bobbie and Joanna try to get their husbands to move out of Stepford because they're genuinely scared about what's going to happen. Then Bobbie "goes away for the weekend" with her husband and comes back Stepford-ized. Now Joanna's really freaked out. She goes to an out-of-town shrink who tells her to go home, get her kids and get the hell out of Stepford. When Joanna does, she's met with hostility and her kids are missing. From there she's making a mad dash around town to find her kids, but comes face to face with the real reason why the women of Stepford seem so perfect. SPOILER, they're robots.

It's actually cooler than that might sound. The set-up is that a bunch of the men in the men's club are genius scientist type guys. One is an animatronics expert from Disney World, one's a famous artist, one studies voices and tricks the women into recording a list of words for his "private study." There's also a number of companies like General Electric and other computer companies. It's actually kind of a brilliant plot element, as dreamed up by Levin in the book and put on screen by Goldman. The men even go so far as to steal Joanna's dog and keeping it in their clubhouse (a huge old mansion), presumably to get the dog to become familiar with the Joanna-bot. There's some really great touches in there that you can thank both Levin and Goldman for.

I can't remember the exact ending of the book, but in the movie SPOILER Joanna comes face to face with her robot replacement and the robot (presumably) kills her. The robot then takes her place and you end on the bleakest shot of beautiful women walking around the supermarket you'll ever see. It's just so hopeless, which is the real gut punch for me. There's also such a sense of betrayal that feel towards Joanna's husband. He seems like an okay dude in the beginning, but then he signs up with these dudes who want to kill his wife and replace her with "the perfect wife." Jeez, man, you've gotta be stone cold to do something like that. The whole point, from the men's perspective, is that you work hard, you might as well have the perfect woman who will have awesome sex with you, clean up after you and never give you any problems. Or have independent thought. I think it's a cool commentary on the time that it was written but can still be read and watched with an eye towards today.

The movie was longer than I expected, almost two hours, but it does a great job of doing the slow build. I can see how it might be boring for some people, but, even though I hadn't seen it before, I knew what to look for because I had read the book (like when the men are meeting at Joanna's house and one of them draws her, the drawing is like the kiss of death, once you've got it and have finished the word recordings after living there for four months, your donezo). So it was kind of like I had seen the movie. All the major beats are still there. I think the main differences are the seasons, I remember there being snow in the book, but it's rain in the movie. And like I said, I can't remember the specifics of the book's ending, though Joanna does end up getting replaced.

The big question for me is, what do they do with the original wife. Do they get flat out killed? Do their memories get erased? These dudes are basically mad scientists who run a small town, so they've got a good amount of options. I'd also like to see someone like Dirty Harry roll into town and offer up some justice. Maybe I'll start writing my script treatment...

Oh, one last thing, I forgot to mention initially. According to IMDB Goldman's original intent for the movie adaptation would be that all the women would be walking around looking like Playboy Playmates, wearing short shorts and what not. So how did the movie end up feature what look like Southern belles in big floppy hats and long dresses? Well one of the producers agreed to finance the film only if his wife could get a role in it. And, while she was pretty, she wasn't the type that Hef would put on the cover of his mag, so they had to switch the WHOLE look that they were going for because this woman looked homely. I know they just remade this move with Nicole Kidman a few years ago (haven't seen it), but I'd like to see a remake that's more of a period piece, set in the 70s with this look. Mostly because 70s Playmates were super hot! Who's with me?!

Halloween Scene: Dying to Belong (1997)

2009-03-18T12:28:00.001-04:00

2008-10-20 2:56:16 pm

Okay, this one isn't really much of a horror movie unless you count watching a TV movie horrific, which isn't too far off. The craziest thing about this NBC made for TV movie (I thought it was a Lifetime movie) about a mean sorority covering up the death of one of its pledges and another pledge trying to get to the bottom of it, is that I actually watched it when it first came out back in 1997. I was 14. Also crazy? Em watched it too. So, at the same time, four years before we met, we were sitting at home with our parents watching the same goofy movie starring (get read for it) Hilary Swank, Sarah Chalke, Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Jenn von Oy and star of Baywatch and Old School Gregory Alan Williams (he was the cop on the RV and the therapist respectively). I'm pretty blown away by the mix of future Oscar winners and sitcom stars with current-at-the-time 90s teen stars. I'd actually buy this on DVD if they could get the cast back together to do a commentary.

Em and I were flipping through channels a week or two ago just looking for something to watch and stumbled upon Dying to Belong on LMN (which apparently stands for Lifetime Movie Network, I really had no idea) and we watched the whole thing. Oh man. Weird.

So, Swank pledges a sorority that her mom was a member of back in the day. Chalke is a member of the sorority. Swank's friend Jenna von Oy (Six from Blossom, if you didn't already know) also wants to join, but she's not liked as much. Or something. Mark-Paul plays Swank's love interest who's got no love for the Greek system. He and Swank both work for the school paper too. That's important later.

As the plot develops, the sorority girls make the pledges do all kinds of awful stuff that you hear about sororities or fraternities. There's a scene where they make the girls race up a hill, take a shot and then run back down. Another has the pledges scrubbing the floor with (presumably) their own toothbrushes. But my favorite is when they make pledges walk around on a table and the sorority sisters circle their physical flaws with permanent markers. Crazy.

Jenna ends up dying. Chalke says she killed herself, but Swank doesn't buy it so she starts an investigation of sorts. Which brings down the wraith of the sorority sisters who have some pretty good connections as she gets fired from the newspaper and no one believes her in the school administration. Which turns it into the kinds of movies that I actually find to me the scariest, the ones where you're telling the truth and no one (including her freaking MOM) believes you. So, in the end, it's actually a pretty effective, though still of course ridiculous Lifetime-like movie. If you can find it, you should check it out (though I wouldn't pay for it). Maybe it's online or something. I'm still waiting for that special edition DVD with the commentary track.

Fellows With Rings Part 1

2009-03-18T12:27:00.000-04:00

2008-10-20 2:36:08 pm

Not seeing The Lord of the Rings has turned into the new "not seeing Star Wars" sense of shock and awe amongst the geek community. Up until Saturday, I had never seen the first of Peter Jackson's epic fantasy adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkein's Lord of the Rings books. I had actually seen the second one in college with some friends on a whim. I found it pretty boring.

When I was a kid all my friends read The Hobbit and the Rings books. I tried reading The Hobbit in fifth grade or so and found it so boring that I couldn't get through it. I've never been much a fan of fantasy literature or movies, with a few exceptions here and there. So when Jackson's first LOTR flick came out, I just didn't care. But Em did and she's been trying to get me to watch the DVDs of which she has all three (the regular ones, not the super-nerdy editions, thank goodness).

It was pretty good. I didn't fall in love with it or anything, but the story's compelling and the performances are great. I'm impressed with the cast to be honest. I mean, they got Leatherface: TCM3's Viggo Mortensen for goodness sake. But seriously, they did a great job.

What didn't impress me, though were the CGI special effects. Some, like Ballroq were really cool, but others just didn't look right. I know it's hard to do things like a giant squid monster as a practical effect, but it's no impossible, especially when considering how much thought and effort Jackson put into things like the hobbit feet (which rarely show up on screen) and the shire (which he apparently built a year before shooting to get the right feel).

I'm not going to get into a rehash of the plot, but it was engaging although long. And I hate when people complain about the length of a movie (Dark Knight for instance), but there did seem to be a good amount of padding (read: walking). I'm not really looking forward to watching the second movie because I remember a LOT of walking. Even the trees walk! Em even offered to skip it, but I'm nothing if not thorough, so we'll see how this goes.

As it stands, I've got to agree with Randall from Clerks 2 about Star Wars being the better trilogy, but we'll see how things go. (SPOILER: there's no way I'm going to say LOTR is better than SW.)

Halloween Scene: Manly Movie Night 10-17-08

2009-03-18T12:26:00.001-04:00

2008-10-19 4:26:11 pm

About three years ago my friends and colleagues at Wizard decided to get together and watch three "manly" movies hooting, hollering, drinking and making jokes the entire time. For a more complete history check out Sean T. Collins' blog post about what we've dubbed Manly Movie Mamajama.

About a month ago we started exchanging E-mails about a Halloween-themed MMM and finally decided on a line up consisting of The Lost Boys, Slumber Party Massacre II (which I take full responsibility for adding to the line-up) and Dead Alive. So, Friday night we gathered together in manly fashion eating pizza and chili (some of us simultaneously) and drinking beer and Red Bull. I'd actually seen all three movies before, but it's always a new experience watching them with these guys.

We started with Lost Boys (1987) directed by Joel Schumacher and starring Jason Patric, Corey Haim, Corey Feldman and Kiefer Sutherland. There's a lot going on in this movie and I'm not sure how much of it was actually intended. As Rickey pointed out, it really seems like brothers Jason Patric and Corey Haim are in a budding romance. There's also the hilarity of the clothing throughout the flick. Between Haim's crazy jackets/robes and Sutherland's gang of mulleted biker vampires. Did this ever look tough? Ah, it was a different, simpler time.

Anyway, for those of you who haven't seen it Lost Boys is about a pair of brothers and their mom who move in with their grandpa in the town of Santa Carla, CA which looks like Coney Island on crazy pills (but sadly lacking The Warriors). Well, it turns out that Santa Carla has a bit of a vampire problem and may or may not be the murder capital of the world, depending on how much stock you put into billboard graffiti. As Jason Patric gets wrapped up in Sutherland's vampire gnag (which also includes Bill from the Bill and Ted movies), Haim meets the Frog Brothers, one of which is Feldman with seems to be doing his best Stallone impression throughout the movie. Their parents own a comic book store (probably the most disorganized store of all time). One of my favorite not-funny-on-purpose lines comes when Haim explains why two Superman comics shouldn't be right next to each other (Lori Lemaris hasn't even been introduced yet). How about because they're no less than 100 issues apart from each other. Oh, also their parents look dead. Just saying. Anyway, the Frog Bros. are vampire hunters.

Anyway, you can imagine where things go from there. Sean Collins made the point that, in the 80s kids progressed from Goonies to Monster Squad to Lost Boys. Now, I had never actually heard of Monster Squad as a kid and I didn't see Lost Boys until Rickey and I lived together, but these three films definitely share a spirit that you can't find in movies aimed at kids anymore. Heck half the stars of this R-rated movie probably couldn't legally see it when it premiered. Awesome!

But, really, you should check it out. There's some pretty good effects and the last battle in the mom's house is pretty great. Plus it's good for a lot of laughs, both intentional and unintentional.

So, after Lost Boys we popped the VHS copy of Slumber Party Massacre II (1987) that I bought off of Amazon for just this occasion for about $6. It's one of, if not THE most ridiculous movies (horror or otherwise) I've seen ever. As I explained to the group before we started, the first SPM movie had a random mental patient killing high school kids at a slumber party with a drill. This movie stars Crystal Bernard (the cute, blonde girl from Wings) as the sister of the survivor from the first flick. She's in a band with three of her friends. One of the girls' parents' decided it would be a good idea to allow the girls to head up to their new condo (which are treated with the same sense of "newness" that malls were treated with in Dawn of the Dead) for the weekend.

Crystal keeps having crazy visions about a rockabilly dude with an Elvis haircut dressed in leather and rocking what looks like a BC Rich designed drill-tar. Well, as you can imagine, she keeps getting freaked out by various visions (the zit one is my favorite, worth the $6 I paid for this junk) but her friends just think she's crazy until the dude comes to real life and starts killing her friends and their visiting boyfriends. What?!

From there it's your average kids running away from a slasher movie, but with a lot more dancing as the Driller Killer busts some moves at random intervals and sings crazy songs. Seriously, if you love bad slasher movies, check this one out. Though I'm not sure if any of my MMM colleagues would agree with that sentiment. General consensus was that it was in the least liked films in MMM history down there with Steel Dawn and King Kong Lives (which I also found hilarious).

Unfortunately, I started coming down with a pretty bad cold that I'm still dealing with today, so I bounced out before the end of Dead Alive, though I'm not sure how much longer anyone else watched it. I would recommend skipping to the last 30 minutes, but make sure to view the zombie sex scene. It's hilarious. Anyway, for my full Dead Alive/Braindead review, click here. As always, I had a great time at the MMM (even with getting sick) and I highly recommend starting up your own.

Halloween Scene: Brotherhood of Blood (2007)

2009-03-18T12:24:00.003-04:00

2008-10-17 4:22:28 am

I figured my good luck with the Ghost House Underground flicks wouldn't last. I've been watching Brotherhood of Blood for about an hour now and I just don't really care what's going on. The story needlessly jumps around in time, which I can accept, except the editing is a bit confusing and about half the acting is wooden (the other half darn good). The dialogue has about the same percentage of hit and miss.

It's you're basic team of vampire hunters against an old vampire and his clan. There's some kind of plot about a dude whose brother may or may not be a vampire. Again, I'm being a bad reviewer and got distracted by the Internets, but there also hasn't been much in the movie to make me take note and saw "holy cats!" It's kind of like a Blade movie, but without the style or the budget. It also sets up an unfamiliar mythology and then tries to flip it on us like it's something we've known since we were kids, but it just doesn't work out all that well.

I have noticed that the movie looks more like an episode of Law and Order than a movie. I assume Dance of the Dead had a fairly low budget as well, but it looked a lot slicker than BoB. Another thing I noticed is that the young vampire hunter kid they induct into their group is pretty much an idiot. Not only does he try to unchain their vampire captive (played by Dawn of the Dead and Leatherface's Ken Foree!), but he then later complains that the vampire is tied up to tight. JEEZ! The main vampire hunter chick actually does make a point about how stupid he's being, but I question if anyone would react in such a manner after actually being around vampires.

But it's not all bad. Like I said Ken Foree's in it, which makes two movies I've watched with him in it this week! He looks kind of like a gypsy vampire, but I'm not really sure what his story is. It's ALWAYS good to see my man again. (EDITOR'S NOTE: I've never met Ken, but I feel like we could start a detective duo or a mystery solving rock band if and when we do eventually meet.) Sid Haig of Devil's Rejects and House of 1000 fame also pops up. He's the leader of the vampire pack. He tempers his usual over-the-top-ness with more subtlety than you might expect, but, like with Ken, he's always a fun face to see in a flick.

Finally, I've got to give it to Victoria Pratt for giving her all in her roll as the main vampire hunter lady. You may recognize her from Cleopatra 2025 or Mutant X, but I didn't. There wasn't a single moment on screen where I thought she believed anything but the plain and simple fact that she was a badass vampire hunter. She really keeps the movie from completely toppling in on itself with all the little problems. She's even responsible for most of the best gore pieces when she's kicking vamp butt.

Overall, I can't recommend this flick to anyone but huge vampire, Ken Foree, Sid Haig or Victoria Pratt fans. The story's muddled, the acting, editing and script only so-so, the gore pretty good though there isn't a lot of it and the big "twist ending" is just kind of eh, but you do get a slightly different take on the vampire mythos.

Halloween Scene: Leatherface The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)

2009-03-18T12:24:00.001-04:00

2008-10-16 3:41:39 am

So, I watched Leatherface yesterday and have already forgotten a lot of stuff about it, but it was a pretty decent flick, even though it generally ignores the second movie and I'm usually a fan of continuity. But let's be real, none of the TCM movies can ever really live up to the original, it's a true classic that can't (and shouldn't) be replicated, though I've got no problem with new stories being told in that world. Which is kind of the route they took with TCM3.

This time, you've got a couple driving across country who get rerouted while the cops excavate a mass grave full of corpses. This brings them in contact with a creepy gas station owner who, you guessed it, has ties to Leatherface's family. This time, though you've got a mother figure along with grandpa, a little girl and maybe some other people, I got pretty confused and I wasn't really paying a lot of attention for different parts. Anyway, the couple end up in the woods with Ken Foree (from my favorite zombie movie of all time, Dawn of the Dead) who's a survival dude who just happens upon the craziness.

You get the basic running through the woods, dinner and chainsaw scenes in this flick. Oh and a great performance by Viggo Mortensen who SPOILER plays Tex, a guy who fakes getting killed and then turns out to be part of the family. At one point he gives Leatherface this crazy chrome-plated chainsaw with "The Saw Is Family" carved into the blade. It's kind of hilarious, but still creepy. Speaking of Leatherface, we get a pretty good version in this flick as he cuts a woman's face off in the opening, nails a girls hands to a chair and just generally looks like he wants to murder you.

There's some pretty cool gore effects in this one and the performances are all pretty solid. A higher death count would have been nice, but what are you gonna do? Worth checking out for slasher and TCM fans.

Halloween Scene: Dark Floors (2008)

2009-03-18T12:23:00.002-04:00

2008-10-16 3:16:56 am

Okay, so I watched Dark Floors and then did a little online research which explains some stuff, so I'm going to review it as I would have without doing research and then give you the added info I got.

Okay, so the basic premise is a kind of Langoliers meets The Mist in a hospital. You've got the dad, his autistic daughter, the nurse, the security guard, the guard and the crazy old guy all in an elevator that has some problems. Once they get out of the elevator, it appears as though the hospital they were all in is empty. Crazier and crazier things keep happening as monsters and ghosts keep harassing them as they descend from floor to floor. Oh, also, the little girl and the old man seem to have some kind of connection to what's going on.

I don't want to give too too much of the plot away, but there were a lot of cool elements that I do want to talk about. Soon after getting off the elevator our group passes a copy machine that keeps spitting out copies even though there's nothing on the machine. The nurse stacks the papers together and flips through them like a flip book revealing an eerie black and white cartoon of a ghostly face moving around the pages. It's a really cool scene and something I haven't seen before.

I also liked the set decoration. As our "heroes" descend lower and lower towards the morgue level (from which they can get to the parking garage, great planning folks) the hospital walls get more dirty, disgusting and gory. The horrors in the hallways themselves get worse and worse too, lending a sense of impending doom that reminded me of hell, but without forcing the imagery of Dante's Inferno down your throats.

The above mentioned monsters are pretty creepy, looking like anything from a Predator to Evil Ernie to an Egyptian mummy and even a Dracula looking dude. They're pretty creepy looking, but I wasn't really sure about how they were related. And the connection is never really explained.

Okay, now to get into some SPOILER territory. From what I can tell, time stopped in the hospital and the outside world (there's a really cool reveal of this). But there's also some kind time loop going on within the hospital where things that happened earlier in the movie are explained a little bit later. It's not a completely unique twist, but I didn't see it coming until right before the characters themselves realized it. The monsters are after the girl, she's some kind of key. But then at the very end it turns out that the entire story you just saw was part of the girl's mind and tracks back to the beginning of the movie. So we get a kind of restart with slightly different circumstances. I'm left scratching my head. Are things different now (she wanted the blue crayon instead of the red crayon) or is this supposed to be what it's like living inside of this poor little girl who keeps drawing really creepy pictures with crayons? I don't really know the answer, but I still found the movie enjoyable even though I generally hate the ones where the end negates the last hour of viewing time. Or did it? As long as I'm asking that question, it doesn't make me all the way mad.

Okay, so here's what I learned after jumping on this here internet thing and looking around. Those monsters that didn't seem to make much sense? Well, they're apparently the members of a Finnish band kind of like Gwar, called Lordi. Apparently the lead singer of the band, Mr. Lordi, both suggested the story and also played the main, end bad guy (who looks like Dracula). That doesn't really make the movie make any more sense, but it does at least explain why these weird ghosts and monsters are hanging out together terrorizing little girls and assorted other people who haven't really done anything. There's even two music videos on the DVD that both look like pretty great short horror films.

Even before I read all that extra info, I would suggest renting Dark Floors. It's got a great sense of atmosphere, creepy monsters, great special effects (both CGI and practical) and nice performances from all the actors, especially the creepy little girl who stays consistently creepy the whole time. Good stuff.

So far that's two out of two quality flicks from the Ghost House Underground releases which has me pretty excited for the rest.

Homecoming

2009-03-18T12:23:00.001-04:00

2008-10-13 12:53:22 am

Hey faithful readers. I'm sure you were worried sick about not getting updates over the last few days, but Em and I went back to our alma mater Ohio Wesleyan University for homecoming. It was really strange being back in a place that used to be home and now belongs to a completely different group of people than I remember. We've been out for three years which means that the kids who were freshman when we were seniors graduated last year. Which is a trip for sure. I don't think I've used the word "weird" so many times in my life to describe how I felt.

Anyway, a group of my fraternity brothers (Alpha Sigma Phi) came back for the annual Sig Bust alumni event which was a lot of fun. It was great seeing any of you who might be reading this and if you weren't able to make it, you were missed.

Well, literally kicking it old school this weekend was a lot of fun, but the total of 18 hours driving between Friday and today have taken their toll. But keep an eye out for a few new reviews soon, including the first Powers TPB and Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

Halloween Scene: Seed (2007)

2009-03-18T12:19:00.000-04:00

2008-10-09 2:52:59 am

About 30 seconds into the Uwe Boll written, produced and directed Seed, I almost turned the movie. Not because of Boll's not-so-great reputation as a director or my previous experience with two of his movies that I didn't like (House of the Dead and BloodRayne), but because the opening involves videos of animal cruelty. And not just someone hitting a dog, but beating them to death. It's gross and I has to fast forward past it.

Past that, I actually enjoyed Seed, much to my surprise. And that's after a fairly confusing first half hour as we get concurrent stories of Seed in jail and also our cop hero capturing Seed. It's a flashback, but I didn't quite catch onto that at first. Oh, also, the story revolves around a law that flashes on the screen at the very beginning that basically says that if you try to kill someone in the electric chair three times and it doesn't kill them, they get to walk free. Now, that doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Why would you let a mostly indestructible mass murderer (one newspaper clipping we see says that he killed the laughable number of 666 people in 6 years, which averages out to about 3-4 a day!) out after your method of killing him proves ineffective? But, hey, maybe it's a real law, I dunno.

Oh, one more quick thing that bugged me. The movie's set in 1979, yet this hillbilly killer has access to a camcorder. I'm pretty sure that was a really, really expensive piece of equipment back then. It's possible he stole it from one of his victims, but then later on he sets up two camcorders, connected to two VCRs and two TVs networked in his house. Maybe he's one of those idiot savants, but it just feels a bit shakey.

Okay, enough complaining. This was a very effective horror movie. There was even one point where Boll made me jump and that takes some doing. At it's core, Seed is about a killer getting revenge on the people who tried to kill him for killing so many other people. For the most part, the death scenes are pretty great and tend to avoid the cliche's you'd expect (I kept waiting for Seed to be waiting for his victims behind an opened door, but no go). There's one human torture scene that started off as uncomfortable and turned into a strange video game-like sequence.

And man oh man, what an ending. I'm not going to say anything about it because I don't want to give anything away, but it really flipped the script on what you'd expect. Even with all my nitpicks above, it's worth the 86 minutes or so it took to watch (especially with skipping through the animal abuse stuff). I feel like people like to pile up on Boll, it's kind of the popular thing to do, but, in my experience only 33% of his movies were actually enjoyable.

Also enjoyable was Richard Gale's short horror film Criticized which is about a horror director who kidnaps and tortures the critic who savaged his movie. Good, creepy stuff, definitely worth a viewing.

Oh, one last Seed related complaint. But this one has nothing to do with the movie itself, but the DVD. Like The Zombie Diaries, the DVD box has almost nothing to do with the movie. I was shocked (no electric chair pun intended) that the girl in the red dress doesn't even appear in the movie, though the electric chair does. Why wouldn't they show the awesome masked killer in one form or another on the box? Hey what do I know? I've never even heard of Vivendi before. Oh well. You can see the cool poster above and the DVD box below.

Halloween Scene: Dance of the Dead (2008)

2009-03-18T12:17:00.001-04:00

2008-10-08 3:38:35 pm

Wow. I haven't enjoyed a movie as much as I enjoyed Dance of the Dead since...well, I can't really remember actually. I was so into this movie and excited by how good it was that I was actually giddy when it was over. I was also tired, which is why I didn't immediately blog about it last night. Dance is a perfect cocktail of some of my favorite genres including zombie, horror, comedy and late 90s teenage movies (which makes sense because according to Wikipedia and IMDB, the script was originally written in the 90s). If you like anything I just mentioned, you NEED to check out this entry from Lionsgate and Sam Raimi's Ghost House Underground imprint which produced 30 Days of Night (eh) and The Grudge (nope). If you're not already convinced, read on, but be warned, the review is, as usually SPOILER FILLED. Thanks to Wizard Staff Writer Steve Sunu for passing the full set of Ghost House Underground DVDs my way for review, I'm super psyched to make my way through them.

Anyway, the very basic idea of the movie is that this huge zombie infestation takes place on the night of homecoming and it's up to a combination of our unpopular hero, the sci-fi club, the crazy bully guy, the prom planner girl, the cheerleader and the punk rock kids to save the day along with the the gym teacher. Now, I know that sounds like a lame premise, and it is, but the mix of comedy, action and gore really puts Dance head and shoulders above most of the other horror movies I've seen. I think I might even like it more than Shaun of the Dead (blasphemy, I know) because of how deftly the screenwriter Joe Ballarini balances the cliche moments with the humor and the violence. It's perfectly over the top without crashing and burning on the other side. The cast is also fantastic and, hey, surprise surprise, they're actually young. I'm not sure if they're exactly high school age, but you're not looking at a bunch of kids who are clearly 27 and were probably home schooled anyway. Kudos to director Gregg Bishop for getting such great performances out of the unknown cast (I didn't recognize anyone) and putting together such a great flick.

And now some actual evidence of why this movie is so great, aside from the tone, humor and story, there's also some really great scenes, both poking fun at and celebrating all the movies it lovingly hearkens back to. The movie opens on a graveyard where the groundskeeper nonchalantly cuts off a zombie's arm and then throws it on a pile of other wriggling undead body parts. The camera pans up to reveal a nuclear power plant in the background and then the title of the film appears in old school green spooky letters that reminded me of a Troma movie.

From there you get a glimpse of the school with it's over the top jerk@$$ biology teacher and tough as nails gym coach. You've also got plenty of high school relationship stuff set up that plays out through the rest of the movie (make-ups, break ups, crushes, that kind of thing). The actual night of prom starts off with all of our leads not actually at prom, they're out in the town as the sci fi club goes to the cemetery and the zombies let loose. There's this awesome scene where they're running through the graveyard as zombies are jumping out left and right. There's none of that boring "here's one zombie, here's another," there's a freaking LEGION of zombies out there.

The individual groups of kids start meeting up and one of my personal favorite scenes in the movie comes when our hero Jimmy meets up with the bully/backyard wrestler and they fight the zombies. The bully dude (who's the only one who looks like he's older, but that's the whole point) goes crazy, ripping arms off and kicking ass. He even rips a zombie's arm off and shoves it down her throat. AWESOME!

So after some more trials and tribulations most of the main characters all meet up at a house that turns out to be a mortuary (great twist and reveal). Meanwhile, the three dudes in the band are getting high in a garage and playing music. They open up the garage door to get some fresh air and there's a half dozen zombies waiting outside for them. The lead band dude, Nash, stumbles backwards, kicks his guitar and the feedback stops the zombies. That's right, ROCK AND ROLL apparently screws up the zombies' ability to communicate with each other (like bees, one of the characters explains later). What an awesome moment and it gets brought back up later once they get to the prom.

The kids get out of the mortuary and meet up with the coach who happens to have an arsenal in his garage. He arms the kids and then they make their way to the prom, first stopping off to save the dudes in the band who bring their instruments as their weapons! But once they get to the prom, it's completely overrun with zombies. The coach has a plan and the kids do their parts, but the coach's detonator falls in the middle of the zombie jamboree so Jimmy runs in to grab it. His girl follows him and they have an awesome, back to back fight against a crowd of zombie. Just as things aren't looking so good for them, the band starts playing again, but our heroes don't just scramble around looking for the device, they SLOW DANCE their way around. Again, it sounds wacky, but the DOTD crew pulls it off masterfully. From there the ending rolls out and is highly satisfying, even setting things up for a sequel. Seriously you need to see this movie.

Still not convinced? Sheesh, okay, let me relate my favorite scene from the movie. You see, the Jimmy's friend has this crush on the cheerleader, but she's got a crush on Nash. Towards the end (SPOILER) the cheerleader gets bit by a zombie, she pulls Jimmy's friend into the bathroom and asks him to hold her, which he does, but only after being completely grossed and freaked out. She even starts kissing him, which he's into until she bites his lip off and starts attacking him. Later, we pick back up with them, now they're both zombies and they start making out again in the bathroom hot and heavy, which leads to even more face biting. It's great, hilarious stuff.

I could honestly go on and on, there were that many awesome moments, with more and more popping into my head as I type this (the convenience store scene, the cheerleader asking Nash out) but I don't want to ruin EVERYTHING. Do yourself a favor and check Dance of the Dead out, it'll be the best 87 minutes of your day guaranteed (unless you also happen to win the lottery or something along those lines).

Halloween Scene: LEGO Zombies

2009-03-18T12:13:00.003-04:00

2008-10-08 2:11:03 am

Thanks to /Film (the best movie blog out there in my opinion), I found out about Flickr member Dunechaser's Zombie Apocafest 2008 pictures from this year's BrickCon in Seattle.

For more details you can check out the /Film story above or the official BrickCon site, but either way, you should definitely view Dunechaser's pics as a slideshow to get the full effect of this awesome zombie cityscape done entirely with LEGOs. Be sure to keep an eye out for cameos by The Joker, Batman and Spider-Man. The amount of effort these folks put into creating this whole thing is stunning and it comes off as truly awesome. It's a must for any horror, zombie or LEGO fans and even Em, who hates zombie movies, really enjoyed it.

Halloween Scene: The Zombie Diaries (2006)

2009-03-18T12:13:00.002-04:00

2008-10-08 3:32:31 am

I'm not a big fan of the whole "first person shooting video" genre which most people call mockumentary. It's a hard format to shoot in because, on the surface, it seems to defy logic. Why would you be recording something when your life is in danger? That's what I thought until I saw a show this year on 9-11 about people that did just that as the Twin Towers fell. They grabbed their cameras and started recording everything around them. I don't mean to compare a horror movie to such a big, real life tragedy, but I think it informs our fiction intake when we see how real people react to real situations. So if it happened in real life, it makes sense that it would happen in a movie. Fine.

But my other problem is a bit more meta. The basic idea behind these kinds of fake documentary movies is that we the viewers are supposed to be watching the movies as if we exist in the same world the movie does, right? In Cloverfield the footage was found and presented to the viewers (maybe, our "role" is that of a government official or something on TV after everything gets back to normal). Right there is my problem with Zombie Diaries as a whole. The film consists of four different groups of people recording their experiences after the zombie outbreak. By the end of the movie you discover that all four connect somehow (I think, but more on that later). Now, in the world of the movie, that means that someone had to find all four tapes (one of which belongs to the military, so we'll assume they're the ones that find them), watch all the tapes and then edit them together so that they have a big reveal at the end to show how they were all connected. Aside from being highly coincidental, it just seems silly. Who would watch that kind of thing? If it's a government video, it wouldn't be so creatively edited, the content would make it less than suitable for TV (even British TV) and what kind of person would want to go to the movies to see a documentary about people turning into zombies, getting attacked by zombies, rape, murder, etc? If the film was shot like a regular film, none of these would be problems and I'm probably thinking a little broadly here, but it's something that came to mind while I was watching the movie.

If that kind of big question isn't the kind of thing that would put you out of a movie, it's a pretty good flick. The basic premise is that a zombie outbreak hits England and we get four different video accounts of what happened. The initial and final ones are present day videos being down with the army. Then there's a group of TV news people who are out in the countryside when it first hits, two dudes and a woman and then a bigger group of people on a farm. I really liked the opening post-army guys with the TV people. It had a good sense of atmosphere and actually made sense for the most part because the guy recording was actually a cameraman.

Without getting too much into the plot (SPOILERS) here's what happens. We see the outbreak through the eyes of the TV people, then we jump to the group of three where we get to see our one and only straight-on scenes of zombies attacking people and then it turns out that the leader of the larger group at the farm is a twisted bastard with a woman tied up in another part of the farm. Well, guess what, it's one of the TV people. Oh, and one of the farm people also probably killed the last living guy from the group of three as he ran towards them as they fired their guns, wailing and not actually calling out like a normal, thinking, rational human. They killed him thinking he was a zombie, as well they should have, the idiot. Finally, we watch as the army saves the girl after the crazy guy leaves the farm.

Now that I think about it, Zombie Diaries would probably greatly benefit from another watching, though I'm definitely holding off for now. Before getting into some more complains, I have to say that what I could see of the zombie makeup looked pretty good, the "getting shot in the head" bits looked alright as far as I know and the acting was good and realistic without being too over the top or just plain bad).

Okay, now onto the last few complaints. Due to the mockumentary style, we miss out on a lot of the action because the camera's facing another way. That's annoying. On the other side of that, though, you've got these people videotaping terrible things happening to their friends like when the two guys in the group of three have to leave the girl after a car accident and when the last surviving guy has to shoot the other guy in the head so he won't turn into a zombie. That's CRAZY! Why would you tape that? They also don't cut away when a woman from the larger group decides to shoot a little girl in the head. She's not even a zombie, she's just badly injured. The cameraman puts the camera down RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER and gets a front row seat for her death. Also, how do they keep getting tapes and recharging their batteries for these cameras. It's a month into the infection in most the cases and it doens't look like anyone has power (though I assume the army guys are all set). Oh and finally, the larger group of people at the farm have this ridiculous habit of running outside at night to shoot at zombies. Seriously? SERIOUSLY? Just freakin' wait until morning or get some better locks on your doors. That's a terrible, stupid idea. Maybe it's because they were being lead by a terrible stupid psycho guy, but maybe not.

Ugh. Even with all that, I'd recommend checking this one out if you're a horror or zombie fan, but if you hate the mocumentary style (and I think I'm starting to) you can skip right over this one.

Oh, crud, one more thing. The box of the DVD which I have here, but couldn't find an image of online is completely misleading. It's got this Steve Austin/biker-looking guy walking down a devastated street with plenty of zombies. He's got the bio hazard symbol on the back of a vest and he's carrying a shotgun and a handgun. NOTHING LIKE THIS EVER HAPPENS IN THE MOVIE, but damnitall if I don't want to see THAT movie. Actually, I'd like to write that movie, maybe I'll start on that tonight...

Halloween Scene: Leatherface and Michael Myers Drawings (2008)

2009-03-18T12:11:00.001-04:00

2008-10-07 2:37:37 am

As I mentioned before, I've been having some fun drawing lately. This time I wanted to do some larger pieces based on classic images of my favorite slashers. Below you'll find the original and my direct (though nowhere near as good copies). One of these days I'll stop doing these drawings on the back of scrap paper so you won't see the text through the white parts.

I'll start with the one I'm not as happy with.

LEATHERFACE

Unlike the Michael Myers drawing below, I decided not to do the big time Sharpie fill-ins (mostly because they made me kind of dizzy). This was the first time I ever drew a chainsaw, a dude holding one or a mask made out of human flesh. I think it looks okay, but still cartoony. Ah well, it was fun.

MICHAEL MYERS

I had a LOT of fun drawing this one and like I said above, got a bit dizzy with all the Sharpie blackening. There's definitely some parts where I didn't get the original down all the way (the placement of the knife, etc), but I think it captures the thing pretty well in black and white. I wish I had a blue marker that wouldn't look like a fourth grade art project. Those shadows and the hair sure can be hard to draw. But I'm starting to finally get hands. I think. I guess we'll see.

Enjoy!

Halloween Scene: Texas Chainsaw Massacre Beginning (2006)

2009-03-18T12:07:00.000-04:00

2008-10-06 6:04:17 am

Two Texas Chainsaw Massacre flicks in one day? Maybe something's wrong with me. But, I'll be honest, I didn't find much wrong with this flick. Consider this movie the Year One of TCM movies as we get to see the birth of Leatherface, how his uncle played by R. Lee Ermey "became" a cop, Leatherface's first kill, chainsaw, chainsaw kill and his first human flesh mask. And it's all done very well by director Jonathan Liebesman who stays as far away from cheesy as possible, even when rehashing the same old TCM tropes you expect: the dinner scene, the girl jumping through a window and getting chased by Leatherface.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. The story starts in 1939 where we see Leatherface born, abandoned and found by the Hewitt family. I thought this was an interesting plot point because maybe Leatherface (aka Tommy) could have had a fairly normal life although his apparent facial disfigurment might have prevented that. It's kind of nature/nurture thing that isn't really touched on again, but it put an idea in my head and I like that. The main part of the story takes place in 1969 as two girls drive with their brother boyfriends as one plans to re-enlist for Vietnam and the other says he's going to join up, but really plans on heading to Mexico with his girlfriend. Meanwhile we see the meat packing plant that Leatherface works at getting shut down and R. Lee Ermey kills the last sheriff in town and puts the uniform on. Basically the Hewitts, lead by R. Lee, decide they're going to take over the abandoned town. Oh, they're also going to eat human flesh, starting with the the previous sheriff.

In a pretty great scene, the kids are getting hassled by this biker chick, the driver (the marine) is struggling to get his gun out the glove box when they smash into a car, wrecking it in the process. That's when they get caught up with R. Lee. The effects of the cow-explosion and all the later death scenes look gruesomely real. Just wait until Leatherface starts hacking people up.

From there it's a lot of what you'd expect and some things you wouldn't. Like I said above, the directing is fantastic as is R. Lee's performance. Unlike Matty M in TCM TNG, R. Lee plays the role with the same amount of brutality, but a lot more subtlety. And this Leaterface puts the TNG one to shame. He's a huge, beast of man mountain. And the filthy chainsaw really looks creepy.

My one complaint about the flick is how utterly stupid Chrissie (Jordana Brewster). First she tries looking around the destroyed truck she was in instead of getting on the biker chick's motorcycle and rolling away. Now, she does get points for going for her boyfriend's gun, but come on. It's just foolish. So, she ends up at the house with the rest of her friends and instead of making a break for it she spends the rest of the day and night trying to find a way to save her friends. I respect her sticktoitivness, but for cripes sake take the hint. There's one point where she finds the biker girl's boyfriend on the road, he wants his girl, so he ditches Chrissie. Again, she doesn't take HIS motorcycle and get away, she ends up in Leatherface's basement butcher shop. THEN she's making her escape when she hears the other girl screaming upstairs, so she goes back upstairs to try and help her. She was at the freaking door when she turned around. Ugh. By this point I was rooting for her to get iced. If any of my friends are reading this post, take note: don't come back for me if I'm being held captive by a family of psychopaths, cause I'm gonna steal the first motorcycle I can find and get out of there.

One thing I noticed about the movie is that I really really wanted the kids, especially the marine, to kill the entire family, I knew it wasn't going to happen due to its prequelness, which added a kind of hopelessness to the whole thing. Sure some of them could have gotten away SPOILER (no one does), but they weren't going to kill the bad guys. I do love the scene when dean smashes R. Lee's face into the porch a few times. It felt cathartic. It was also cathartic in a weird way when Leatherface popped up in the back seat of the car that Chrissie stole and chainsawed through her seat, killing her. Man she was dumb.

Halloween Scene: Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)

2009-03-18T12:02:00.002-04:00

2008-10-05 5:47:25 pm

Wow, I haven't been this torn between liking and hating a movie in a while. I remember seeing the box for this movie at my nearby Family Video (my main source for horror movies), but for some reason it was ALWAYS in the new release section and I was too cheap to rent those movies, I was more a fan of the 2 for $1 VHS rentals. So today was the first time I've watched the flick which stars Renee Zellweger and Matthew McConaughey.

There is a lot wrong with this movie. First off, the kids all end up in one car driving for a few minutes away from prom and yet, later in the movie when Zellweger is running away NOTHING IS AROUND. It doesn't make much sense. Another huge negative for me is this version of Leatherface. Instead of behing this huge, imposing, terifying mostly silent force of nature he's a yowling little wuss and as far as I can tell he's not actually wearing a mask of a human face but a wooden one in the beginning.

But it's not all bad. McConaughey is pretty scary and completely gives himself over to the character of a complete psychopath, though I'm not sure why he has a robot leg brace. Many of his scenes are even pretty scary as the camera doesn't cut away from his lunatic behavior. I also like the performances by the actors who play Barry and Heather. Barry's a total asshole who I loved hating. His lines are hilarious as many of them star with "Everybody knows you're..." "It's not my fault you..." or "My father is a..." He actually sounds like a character that Danny McBride would play today. And Heather is the dumb blonde girl who actually knows the score saying "There's people in the woods who are going to chase us down and kill us and lock us in cabinets." It's actually funny later when she tells Barry that she doesn't really believe any of the things she says, she just does it because she's bored and then all those things happen. Funny stuff.

Another character I really like is Darla who seems normal at first but (surprise surprise) turns out to be related to the Sawyer family. She's McConaughey's girlfriend or wife or something and she really does a great job of it. It's hard to explain her role, she's kind of frank and logical, seems like Renee but also loves the insane McConaughey, but hates his brothers (Leatherface and the quote-spewing and attributing W.E.. She's the funniest part of the movie.

And I think that's why I couldn't get a good grip on the movie, I had trouble figuring out if it was taking itself seriously or not because there are some seriously crazy parts. The best scene that Leatherface is in is his first where he grabs Heather and it's very physical and real-looking. But he's screaming the whole freaking time like a woman and wearing a jerry curl wig/pelt of some kind that just looks stupid.

As you'd expect the whole end of the movie involves a dinner scene with Renee trying to escape from the house over and over again. There's a bunch of scary-ish scenes, but it could border on torture-porn for some folks. At one point Darla confides in Renee that Matthew works for the Illuminati (the people who make the world go round). I kind of expected it to just go nowhere, but later on a dude shows up and says he's disapointed in Matthew for not spreading enough horror (or something). I have no idea what this means. The dude disapears, some more craziness happens and then Renee gets away and into an RV as Leatherface runs behind her dressed in a woman's suit with what looks like a large woman's chest skin under his jacket. It looks RIDICULOUS. Anyway, you think she's okay until they show up in a truck with Leatherface swinging his chainsaw at the RV until it goes off the road and flips over. Then, Matthew's chasing Renee and is just about to get her when a plane you saw a few minutes before and just assumed was a crop duster shoots him in the head. Then she turns around and there's a car right behind her with the weird dude from before in it. Leatherface seems freaked out and does a stupid chainsaw dance when the car pulls away. Ridonculous.

I've read that this is some peoples' favorite TCM follow up. I can't say if I even have one. I've got to watch 2 again and Leatherface (aka TCM 3) for the first time. I've also got the TCM remake's sequel ready to watch from Blockbuster so look out for that.

Finally, I have to put a call out to all of you folks who are so good at re-cutting movies into trailers like Must Love Jaws or 10 Commandments I Hate About You NEED to recut TCM: TNG into a romantic comedy trailer. PLEASE! I'll give you a dollar and link the crap out of it.

Halloween Scene: Batman Comics

2009-03-18T12:00:00.001-04:00

2008-10-05 3:49:45 pm

A year or two ago the folks at Wizard decided to do a story of the 25 scariest moments in comics. I kind of had a problem with this because I've never really been scared by a comic, I'm not sure if it has to do with the format or what, but it's never happened. But that doesn't mean I haven't read some generally creepy stories in comic book form. Recently I've read some pretty cool Batman-related stories that had a good horror elements. For the ongoing series' I'm probably still an issue or two behind, so take that into account, but here we go.

BATMAN: GOTHAM AFTER MIDNIGHT

This is a 12-issue series written by Steve Niles and drawn by Kelley Jones. I'm not a big fan of Niles, so Jones was the big draw for me here. His art on Batman around Knightfall was the first time I realized that artists had different styles. No one draws a more over-the-top, creepy Batman then him in my book. And that's basically what this book is, crazy and over the top. #3 was the last one I read in which the creepy zombie-looking villain convinces Clayface that, if he actually consumes people, he can grow to giant size. It's a pretty cool concept that I haven't seen done before but really makes sense. There are all kinds of over-the-top moments in the first three issues (Jones' Batcave looks like a smelting factory, Batman's building a giant robot suit just in case). Some people find it ridiculous, but to me that's part of the fun.

JOKER'S ASYLUM

A little while ago DC put out these one-shots under the Joker's Asylum banner showcasing Batman's biggest villains, probably to tie into the movie because they came out so far ahead of Halloween. I read all of them, but I particularly liked the Scarecrow and Penguin issues.

Scarecrow was written by Joe Harris and drawn by super awesome fantastic artist Juan Doe. With Joker taking on the Crypt Keeper role in all these books, we get presented with a slasher-like tale of a young, nerdy girl getting invited to the popular girl's sleepover with nefarious intent. It turns out that the girl's shrink is actually the Scarecrow, who convinces the nerdy girl to go to the party. While she's there, Scarecrow hunts down the teenagers and poisons them with his fear toxin. It's probably the best slasher-movie-in-comic-form story I've ever read and it's all done concisely in one issue. And boy oh boy is Juan Doe's art fantastic. It's a kind of angular cartoony style that still captures the eeriness of the scene. He also does some really cool little things like taking the old Joker face from his early appearances and using them as decorations on the Joker's pajamas in the opening scene. Harris also sets up a possible future villain in the form of Lindsay, the nerdy girl. And one last thing, bonus points to Harris for referencing Mean Girls and Heathers (Heather's the mean girl and Lindsay is the nerdy girl, after Lohan I assume). Well done all around.

The other Joker's Asylum story I really dug is the Jason Aaron written and Jason Pearson drawn Penguin one-shot. It's more of an EC revenge tale than a horror story, but it offers probably the best representation of the Penguin I've ever seen. If you think that he's too ridiculous of a character to be a good villain in the next Batman movie, just read this issue and you'll see what I mean. Instead of being an active threat to people we find that Penguin is much more behind-the-scenes in how his revenge plays out. There's also a fun nod to one of the most over-done elements in Batman comics that I loved. Penguin's day dreaming about his new lady friend while Batman's beating up on his bodyguards. When he's done Batman says "Just remember that I'll be watching" to which Penguin responds "Yes, yes...see you next week." As anyone who's been reading Batman comics for a while, Penguin currently owns the Ice Berg Lounge where he's considered a legitimate business man, but Batman still routinely comes there, knocks his guys around and tell Penguin he's watching him. It's gotten old fast for us Batman fans and this was, to me at least, a way of poking a little fun at that.

SIMON DARK VOL. 1 TPB

Like I said above, I'm not a big Steve Niles fan, but lately he's been writing some pretty good comics, so maybe my tune is changing. What I first thought was a retelling of the Frankenstein tale has kind of morphed into something much more involving dark magic and other craziness all set in the backdrop of Gotham City. But don't expect Batman to pop up every issue, in fact, I don't think he shows up in this trade at all. I've read most of the issues after this one and still dig the story, even if it does drag out a little. A big, big part ambiance of the story definitely comes from artist Scott Hampton. Looking at it actually makes me feel cold. That's really the best way I can describe it. Crisp. I think Simon may be my favorite new, non-legacy character from last year, especially as he finds more and more out about his weird past.

BATMAN FACES TPB

Really the only reason I even picked this book up is because of Matt Wagner. I'm a big big fan of Mage and really hopes he does the third and final miniseries. So, while waiting for that I decided to give this Batman/Two-Face story a while and I really enjoyed it. Basically Two-Face is trying to take over an island that Bruce Wayne wants to buy and start a new country with a bunch of European sideshow freaks. I laughed as soon as I saw them because I had JUST watched Freaks. It's another one of those great coincidences like when you're flipping through channels, stop on a History Channel or Discovery show about something you've never really heard of and then it comes up in conversation the next day. I love when that happens. The story itself isn't all that surprising, but Wagner does some great thing with his art (like a Family Circus-style dotted line splash or the page consisting of a track). The big draw is Wagner's art, especially his interpretation of classics like Batman and Two-Face and the freak characters. It's more about the smaller moments, like how the freaks react at the very end of the story than the big plot stuff, but all in all it's a really enjoyable story.

Halloween Scene: Halloween 4 The Return of Michael Myers (1988)

2009-03-18T11:59:00.001-04:00

2008-10-05 2:18:47 am

Last night everyone (Em and her visiting parents) went to bed at about 9:30 so I was left with a pile of comics and the TV to myself. I wasn't really feeling a horror movie yet, so I read comics and then watched The Soup (love that show). I wasn't sure what I wanted to do so I popped 300 in, but instead of watching that I saw the top 7 songs on VH1's Top 100 Hip Hop Songs of All Time (or whatever they called it) followed by a documentary about NWA which was really interesting (I was definitely not paying attention to rap at the time so it was a great education on the time period as well the music).

Well after that I was faced with a question, should I just watch 300 or another Halloween Scene flick? Well, horror won out and I popped Halloween 4 in even though I wasn't very excited about it. And let me tell you, I was pleasantly surprised.

I originally watched most of these slasher movies in high school, so it's been quite a while in most cases, plus I think I watched some of them out of order. Needless to say, it's hard to keep everything straight (just wait until I start watching the Friday the 13th flicks). H4 is a great addition to the Halloween franchise as well as a great movie on its own.

It's 10 years later (remember that, even though H2 came out a few years after the original it was still set on the same night, so it works out time-wise) and we're introduced to Jamie, who is Laurie Strode's daughter which makes her somewhere between 7 and 10 I think, I can never tell how old kids are. Laurie and her husband died so now Jamie is living with another family including older "sister" Rachel. And, of course, Michael Myers is still around. Apparently both he and Loomis survived the huge explosion at the end of H2 and Michael ended up in an asylum where he's been for the last 10 years. It's not until he's getting transported to another facility (without Loomis' knowledge) that he hears about Jamie's existence, goes crazy and makes his way back to Haddonfield.

Instead of the fake out scares that populated H2, H4 offers more general suspense as you never really know what's going to happen. The directing and screenwriting has some really inspired moments like when three or four kids in Michael Myers masks and coveralls surround Loomis and the new police chief. One of them might even be Michael as only two called out and/or took off their masks. Another scene I really liked takes place before either Michael or Loomis get to Haddonfield when they end up both in the garage. They stare at each other from across the station, Loomis has a great speech, fires a few shots and then Michael drives out of the station and sets the gas pumps and Loomis' car on fire.

Which reminds me, kids in the Halloween-verse are big time jerks. Remember in the first one where the three kids pick on Tommy and give him crap about the boogie man? Well, this one tops that with three kids dressed up in those costumes where you basically wear a mask and then a plastic shirt with what you're supposed to be on it making fun of her for her mom being dead and her uncle being a serial killer. These kids must really taken to heart the old saying that kids can be cruel. But that's not all as a car with two jocks and two cheerleaders pull over to offer a ride to the stranded Loomis and then drive off laughing at him. Hopefully Myers killed them at some point off screen.

Oh, and those kids that made fun of Jamie? She ends up trick or treating with them later, which results in her getting separated from Rachel who found her crush Brody ready to bone the sheriff's daughter because Rachel canceled their date in order to take Jamie trick or treating. What a jerk (even though Kelly, the sheriff's daughter is super hot). Brody is played by Sasha Jenson who was in both the Buffy movie and Dazed and Confused (two big favorites from my younger days). I can't believe he was 30 when he did Dazed and Confused.

Anyway, back to the story. My mind's all over the place. Back before trick or treating there's a scene where Rachel takes Jamie to a drug store to get a Halloween costume. Brody works at the store too (this is when she tells him she can't make their date that night). So while Rachel's talking to Brody, Jamie's looking at the mask section by herself, which brought back memories of the costume store that used to be by my house growing up. They always had those huge crazy monster masks that you never say anywhere but in the store, which was a fun bit of nostalgia. But the scene gets even better as Jamie picks pretty much the exact clown costume we saw Michael wear as a child when he killed his sister in the beginning of H1. But THEN we see Michael's scarred hand grab a new Shatner mask and appear right behind her. Jamie understandably freaks out and crashes into a mirror and then Michael disappears.

Which got me to thinking about something. Is it a plot hole that he wouldn't just kill her right there (if in fact that was him)? The answer I came up with was no because Michael doesn't just want to kill his main target, he wants them to suffer all kinds of mental and physical trauma. Sure, if you were just one of the friends or a side character you'll get a shotgun stabbed through your guts or a thumb through your face, but if you're Laurie or Jamie or even Loomis, he wants bad bad things to happen to you, which is why he takes the time to set up the bodies. He's theatrical that way I guess.

Okay, again, back to the story. The girls wind up with Loomis and the sheriff and a deputy in the sheriff's house with Brody and Kelly (awkward). But Michael's there too and he slowly picks off the ancillary characters (the sheriff and Loomis leave on their own accord). Rachel and Jamie have this great scene with Michael chasing them on the roof. For a few minutes, it turns out to be just Michael after Jamie which is kind of terrifying because, what chance does a kid stand against a dude who has survived gunshots and explosions? Then Loomis comes to the "rescue" gets them to the school and then promptly gets thrown through a door, leaving Jamie on her own again. Rachel and a group of rednecks who have formed their own "lynch mob" to take out Michael.

The rednecks drive away from the city with the two girls as cops from the town over (or something) drive past. There's a sense of relief as they roll into town, but of course it's not that simple as Michael was under the truck the whole time (or something). And then there's the one part of the movie that I just can't buy. Michael pulls himself up over the tailgate and attacks the two or three guys in the back, but the driver and the two girls in the cab don't notice ANYTHING. Ah well. The girls are left alone with Michael on top of a truck and then crash into a cemetery. Then the rednecks and the cops show back up somehow (how'd they know to turn around?). The guns ring out and Michael falls back into a pit where all kinds of dirt and graves fall in on him.

As if the above wasn't SPOILERY enough, now I'm going to talk about the very end, which I love. Rachel and Jamie get back to their house and Loomis and the sheriff show up so everything's cool until we get a replay of the ultra creepy opening scene from H1. You're not really sure who it is and then we hear a scream and see little Jamie standing at the top of the stairs holding a pair of bloody scissors that she used to kill her new mom. And THEN Loomis pulls his gun out and almost shoots him until the sheriff stops him. Then it just ends. Great stuff, even though I'm not sure why Loomis expects Michael to stay buried. SPOILER, he won't there's 2 of 4 more movies in the continuity depending on how you count.

Return turned out to be a really really great horror movie and I highly recommend it. I haven't seen H2O or the sequel to that one, but it's one of the better sequels in my opinion (depending on how I'm feeling it and H2 switch places in the favorite sequel category). Good times!

Halloween Scene: The Food of the Gods (1976)

2009-03-18T11:56:00.001-04:00

2008-10-03 4:39:44 am

As has become the case of late, I'm watching one movie while blogging about another. Tonight, I wussed out on watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre and instead watched the end of Halloween 3 and The Food of the Gods. I admit right now that I've had a drink or two so it may or may not be a Suspiria kind of review.

I don't recognire any of the actors or the director, one Bert I. Gordon but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy this flick. Again, I'm not real clear on a lot of the details, but the basic plot is that a football player and his buddy makes his way to a Canadian island where a giant wasp attacks and kills his friend. He ends up at this lady's farm where a giant chicken attacks her. And later, giant works attack her, with giant rats making the very last enemy. You see, there's some kind of ooze leaking from the earth itself that's causing these mutations.

Somehow (and again, I wasn't paying enough attention) we end up with a Night of the Living Dead kind of scenario with a bunch of unrelated people including the lady farmer, the football player and a pregnant girl all in one location fending off the giant rats.

The majority of the special FX are done with matte painting and trick camera angles with rats crawling all over toy houses and automobiles. Still, I think I prefer this to CGI. Somehow, cutting from a shot of rats running along a tiny log cabin still seems better in my mind that CHI rats running rampant. I'm also not quite sure how they did the effects with the guys in the house shooting the rats. Hopefully no animals were too badly hurt. but really, the effects when they were shooting the giant rats were great.

This is not a great horror movie by any means, but it's definitely enjoyable on a camp level as well as a prop level. The giant chicken head that attacks our hero looks fantastically creepy as does just about anything else that moves in the way it shouldn't.

Even the end scene where a legion of rats attacks the cottage they're in feels creepy because they're just scaling the place looking for any way in, again, like a zombie flick. Luckily the football player has a plan to drown the mother f-ers.

Kudos to the editing team who make it actually look like these dudes are shooting the rats so hard that they get blasted off of their purches and fly away. Plus the rat carcasses at the end look awesome and make for a pretty good bonfire. But what about the cows? And the kids? I guess that's what the sequel is all about.

I expected very little from this movie, especially after my beloved Creature Features book gave it one star, but I actually enjoyed it enough to recommend it to horror fans (especially if you like environmentally themed, man vs. monster flicks or just giant rats) and will even hold onto it for another view. As mentioned above, I hope the mice and rats involved in this movie went on to live long, full rat lives and weren't killed just for the sake of a movie. But if they were, they went out with a bang and I salute them. Salute!

By the way, it must be mentioned that this is somehow loosely based on part of an HG Wells story that I haven't read and can't really speak for, although the movie does make me want to read the story, so good on it. Reading is fun-da-mental.