Mini Monsters: Troll 1 and 2

2009-04-10 3:19:35 am

Okay, I'm in search of a movie from my childhood. I thought either of the Troll flicks might jog my memory. Unfortunately, neither the original nor the non-sequel struck a chord in my memory, but I sure had a good time watching both movies.

Even though the first Troll (1986) flick has a mini monster with a ball on the freakingposter, it's not the movie I remember. It is however a really strange flick with a father and son duo by the names of Harry Potter. Harry Jr's sister gets taken over by a Troll (or something) when they move into their new apartment building. Soon enough the troll is causing all kinds of trouble, even converting the other tenants in weird creatures. Luckily there's a weird old lady with a pet mushroom plant who helps Harry Jr. save the day. I'll be honest, I watched Troll over a week ago and my already shoddy memory has forgotten a lot of the details. Sonny Bono, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and June Lockhart all have rolls and entertain in their own way. It really is just a great, weird movie.

Okay, so a swing and a miss on the first flick, maybe the second would be a hit. Nope. Whiff. Yeah baseball metaphors! Anyway, I didn't really know Troll 2's crazy history or its title as "Best Worst Movie" when I added it to my Netflix but between adding it and getting the movie, it was mentioned on both Horror Movie a Day and in the Totally Rad Show podcast. So, I was kind of excited to finally watch the movie, which apparently started life as a completely different movie about goblins. BC and HMAD did a pretty right on review though I think I liked the movie a lot more.

Yes, it's completely ridiculous and poorly acted, but it's definitely not the worst movie I've ever seen. Slumber Party Massacre 2 still holds that spot. Anyway, the TRS guys talked about a documentary created by the kid who starred in Troll 2 that I'm interested in checking out.

Instead of doing a straight-up review, I'll post the notes I made while watching the first three quarters of the movie (I gave up and just watched, probably buzzed, after a while).

Here goes, with commentary when necessary:

-he's imagining his dead g-pa telling him a story?

-Kid has a Superman poster and fucking Killing Joke Joker HAHAHAHAHAHAHA poster!!!

-"You take them to bed with you and i don't believe in group sex" (the daughter in the story says this about her boyfriend and his friends)

-acting is BAD

-"Joshua start singing" (I think one of the parents yells this at the kid/hero)

-this kid has crazy dreams - green blood/sweat, tree fingers and sucking chest wound

-holy crap, they're driving an aerostar (in high school I drove a 1994 Ford Aerostar Mini Van, this one is pretty similar)

-the town is called Nilbog, hahahaha

-who would ever trade houses with strangers? (the whole story revolves around the main family leaving their regular house to live in the house of some strangers in Nilbog who never really leave)

-mom has a menacing/evil quality because she keeps staring RIGHT AT THE CAMERA

-is that a stripe of blue frosting on the corn? (yes, goblins love putting frosting on stuff)

-hahaha he pissed on the food! (to make sure his family wouldn't eat it)

-dad just challenged Josh to a not eating contest "just remember I've got more practice at this than you do." (which is exactly how your dad handled you when you peed on the food)

-i hear my friend scream in the woods, i'm out the door seeing if he's okay, not drinking mountain dew (the boyfriend and his friends borrow a mobile home which they park near Nilbog, not a good move in the long run)

-eww, Nilbog "special milk" that's not refrigerated

-that's not pudding it's a cheesecake with green frosting

-nothing like a warm jug of milk on a hot day

The movie goes on from there and never lets up in the weirdness. There's a scene where the Nilbogians throw a surprise party in the family's house without them knowing it that is out of control and of course, the end is nuts (you'll never hear a kid say Grandpa so many times).

Ha, which reminds me. The grandpa's name is Seth, but the kid seems to have a ridiculously hard time wrapping his mouth around the word and it just comes out garbled every time.

Anyway, you could probably start a whole blog just on this movie. I enjoyed it for the most part and have my eyes peeled for the Troll 1 and 2 DVD at a reasonable price, but, unfortunately, my mini monster quest is not yet over. Somehow I'll soldier on...

By watching Ghoulies 1 and 2! Coming soon!

Halloween Scene: Graduation Day (1981)

2009-04-04 2:57:52 am So, last night I was flipping through my Netflix Instant Watch queue and wanted to watch a short horror movie, so I settled on the 90-ish minute Graduation Day (1981). After I was a few minutes in I realized the movie sounded a bit familiar thanks to a post I read over at Horror Movie A Day (the best horror site around as far as I'm concerned). Now, sometimes, like in the case of Troll 1 and 2, which I'll get to shortly), I check out a movie because HMAD's BC watched it and wrote about it. Other times, like this one, it's just a coincidence, though we both watched it on Netflix. Anyway, though our opinions of Netflix on Xbox differ (I only have a problem about 10% of the time), our opinion of the movie is pretty similar: it's not great. Check out his review for a good assessment of things. Okay, done? There's a few ridiculous things I'd like to add. First off, there is a roughly 7 minute scene which is based around a band playing a song at a roller rink or some such. The scene isn't all that interesting, but it seemed like this performance garnered more of the budget than the rest of the flick as there's lights and people moving all around. I wonder if they thought being in Graduation Day would be their big break? There was one other cool kill in the movie (though completely ridiculous). This dude on the football team (though what he's doing in pads in June is beyond me) is walking through the same woods that a bunch of kids have already been killed in and after running into Vanna White and some other girl who tosses his ball into the woods, he comes across the killer who puts a sword through the ball and then throws a perfect spiral into his torso. Hey, it's creative, if not physically impossible. And speaking of Vanna, her role really sucks in this flick. Like BC says, she's one of two annoying girls that doesn't do anything important except facilitating the football guy's death. The funny thing is that the other girl gets more face time on camera. So, while we can hear Vanna's distinct voice, you rarely get to see her face, which is the fun part of watching these horror movies with young stars. Okay, one last ridiculous thing about Graduation Day. The girl who dies in the beginning has an older sister int he military. I'm not sure which branch because I wasn't really paying attention. We do know she was in Guam though for whatever reason. Anyway, this woman who has been trained by the greatest fighting force on the face of the planet has a hard time not getting killed by some douchey teenager with a knife. She at least uses some hand-to-hand techniques when he tries attacking her under the bleachers (where he's keeping all his victims in various poses), but both parties move so slow I thought the Netflix was flickering. Nope, just bad choreography. I was really hoping that she would really jack this dork up (who looks a lot like Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers). When will we get a movie where the "victim" really knows how to handle themselves? I want a Leatherface vs. Rambo-type movie. Oh jeez, I forgot, there's actually one more ridiculous moment I want to mention. It's kind of spoilery, but I don't recommend you actually seeing this movie unless you're a completist slasher fan. Anyway, there's a fake scare at the end where the dead girl's sister is in bed before going back to the military and she imagines the killer has come back and is going to stab her in her bed. But wait, he's dead right? Right, but instead of this just being a dream sequence, it turns out that it's her step dad (I think he's her step dad, again, I wasn't paying attention. He's at least the guy nailing her mom) yelling crazy stuff at her and holding an empty bottle. It reminded me of that scene from the Simpsons where they're in the witness protection program and Homer keeps busting into Bart's room with a knife and then later a hockey mask and chainsaw. This guy definitely belongs in horror's crazy old guy hall of fame.

They Can't All Be Winners

2009-02-25 2:06:36 am

I haven't been having a ton of luck lately when it comes to watching movies. Aside from falling asleep about a half hour in exactly no matter how cool the movie, I've been picking some duds (though still a few good ones). I couldn't even get into watching Repo: The Genetic Opera for some reason. I'm not going to pass judgment on that one now because I was really tired, but I wanted to keep our Netflix queue going so I sent it back.

I did not however like an action movie I tried watching last night called Kiltro (2006). I made it about a half hour into that one before I fell asleep. I was hoping for an awesome action movie (as advertised), but instead I got a story about a guy who likes to fight and has a crush on a girl who blah blah blah. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I want my action movies (and my giant monster movies for that matter) to be less talking and more destruction, unless they happen to be actually funny like Police Story 1 and 2. Again, I don't really consider this a review, because I didn't watch the whole movie, just letting you action fans out there know not to waste your time.

I also watched most of a movie called Hickey and Boggs (1972) which has a lot going for it in that The Warriors writer Walter Hill wrote it and Bill Cosby stars as a tough guy private detective along with Robert Culp who also directs. I didn't have any problem with this movie, though it is a bit slow, I just haven't finished it yet because it's kind of long and it expires from Netflix on March 1. It's in the same vein as Dirty Harry and is pretty cool, so I might finish it up today. Oh, and if you were wondering, yes it's kind of weird seeing Bill Cosby as a tough guy, but he also pulls it off really well. It's fun to watch. Again, not a real review, but just some thoughts.

That being said, I do have four ACTUAL reviews:

POPCORN (1991)
Man, the 90s were a weird time for horror movies. You're looking at a time after the slasher glut greatly hindered the genre, but before Scream made them cool again. Popcorn is kind of a weird movie. The basic premise is that a college film club decides to hold a movie marathon to raise some money. But this isn't any movie marathon, they're showing movies with a gimmick like smell-o-vision or shock-o-rama. As such, they need an old movie theater to show their flicks in and a crazy old guy to help out (and then completely disappear) in the form of Ray Walston (My Favorite Martian). If you really liked the beginning of Scream 2 where there's all kinds of craziness happening in a movie theater, then this is right up your alley as it seems as though a counterculture guy from back in the day wants his weirdo movie to be seen so much he's willing to kill people for it (that's not exactly the plot, but I don't want to give too much away). There was enough quirky charm to keep me watching even though the movie isn't awesome by any means. So, if that sounds interesting (oh and the fact that someone gets killed via giant fake mosquito), check it out.

THE ROCKER (2008)

I was really surprised with how much I liked this Rainn Wilson flick. I was also surprised with the huge number of cast members I not only recognized, but knew by name (for the most part). Wilson stars as a drummer who got kicked out of what became the biggest band of the 80s right before they blew up. Now, in modern times, Rainn's down on his luck, but ends up joining his nephew's band, which garners its own huge levels of success. Aside from the cast that includes Christina Applegate, Emma Stone, Jeff Garland, Jane Lynch (from 40 Year Old Virgin and a hundred other things), Jason Sudekis, Will Arnett, Fred Armisen, Jane Krakowski, Bradley Cooper, Lonny Ross (30 Rock), Demetri Martin and Aziz Ansari, I was really impressed with how well they pull off some moments that could have come off as cheesy. There's also one part where Rainn offers up the emo lead singer some songwriting advice (paraphrase "let's speed it up and switch it to I'm NOT bitter) and he actually takes it without flinching. Sure it's kind of similar to a scene in That Thing You Do, but in this case the lead singer just decided to go for it instead of being a d-bag. The Rocker is one of those flicks that seems like it either went up against some huge other movie or their producers didn't have the juice to put much/any advertising cash behind it, because there's no reason that this shouldn't have done way better (though I said the same thing after seeing Speed Racer, which I still really enjoyed, so what do I know).

I also watched a couple movies all the way through that I wasn't really into and those were Bangkok Dangerous (2008) and The Crazies (1973). I'll be honest, the only reason I wanted to watch BD is because I've laughed a million times at the Best of The Wicker Man video on YouTube starring BD's Nic Cage. Man that's a funny video. You can get to it here after reading an AWESOME article I wrote about horror movie remakes for ToyFare. Unfortunately, BD was no where near as ridiculous as I was hoping it would be (I mean, COME ON, it's Nic Cage as an assassin!). Instead, it's a pretty run-of-the mill story about an assassin who has all kinds of rules, but is starting to not want to be an assassin anymore. You've seen it a million times and this doesn't really offer up anything new, unlike Grosse Pointe Blank which is completely awesome.

The Crazies (1973) is the first non-zombie George Romero movie I've ever seen. It was okay, but not all that interesting. Instead of focusing on characters and how they react to these crazy situations, it seemed like Romero was more focused on showing a lot of dudes in white hazmat-type suits rounding people up after a virus that makes people go bat-poop nutso, gets released in a small town. There's nothing all that wrong, really, it just didn't grab my attention like my favorite Romero (and horror) flick Dawn of the Dead does.

Four Movies I Dug

2009-02-21 5:28:59 am

It may come as a bit of surprise, but my movie intake has almost trickled to a crawl lately. The movies in this post have been vied over a period of almost months. I've been a lot more tired lately and haven't been staying up as late, but I'm still watching for you, my faithful readers (also because I'm half-addicted to movies, I think). So, here we go:

NICK AND NORA'S INFINITE PLAYLIST (2008)
I didn't LOVE Nick and Nora, but I liked it about as much as I thought I would. I'm a sucker for told-in-one-night movies like Can't Hardly Wait and the like. Plus, this one stars Michael Cera and Kat Dennings who is crush-worthy in my book (don't tell Em). The basic story isn't all that mindblowing, it's your basic "two people who are dating other people meet each other, fall for each other, have a few difficulties, but SPOILER get together in the end" flick, but what's fun for me is in the details. Aside from the solid performances and guest spots by the likes of Andy Samberg, Seth Meyers, Jay Baruchel, I like the New York club setting and the smaller details like Nora's dad SPOILER owning Electric Ladyland studios. I have no idea if the club/band life the movie puts forward is accurate, but I think the idea of following a mystery band around town to be really cool, though familiar (I can't quite put my finger on why/where from). I also had music geeksplosions when they went to Electric Ladyland. And, I gotta say, I was surprised that this movie, which is based on a book that I haven't, but now want to, read not only had a sex scene but also a number of gay characters (oh, and the creepiest stripperish dance scene involving an actual girl that I can remember). I guess teen movies have changed a bit and I think it's pretty cool.

THE HOUSE BUNNY (2008)
I can't exactly say The House Bunny surprised me, because, well, I kind of thought I would like it. You've got Anna Faris starring in a Fred Wolf (SNL, DIRTY WORK!!!) directed movie that mixes Playboy and sororities on a college campus in which the main point of the flick is to turn nerdy sorority girls (including Kat Dennings, Rumor Willis and Emma Stone) into hot chicks. I'd say that's a pretty killer combination. And, as far as I'm concerned, it lived up to my expectations. Oh, plus it had Colin Hanks who I haven't seen in anything but Orange County, but I liked that flick and he's good in this too. Really, if the above description doesn't tickle your fancy, you won't dig this movie. If it does, dive on in and have a good time. I wouldn't rank it in my top five comedies or anything, but it's still worth a watch.

ALIEN RAIDERS (2008)
Alien Raiders is one of those movies that makes its way into the Wizard building and somehow found it's way to my hands, probably because everyone knows I'm the horror guy in the offices. Anyway, I knew nothing about this movie and had absolutely no expectations (in fact, I can't even remember why I watched this instead of something else like, say, Triloquist, which is in my "to be watched" pile). So, I was pleasantly surprised by this mix of Thing and The Mist (basically, "who's the alien in a grocery store"). I was surprised with how in to this movie I got (I even put a comic down to watch it). For a much better review than I could give, check out my favorite blog on the web Horror Movie a Day. Also check out the comment section for what will be a now reduntant comment, plus a comment from the screenwriter!

DISTRICT B-13 (2004)
Compared to the rest of these flicks, B-13 here is an oldie, but it's still a goody. Man, I had a great time watching B-13. It's directed by the guy who just did Taken which I hear is pretty rad and want to check out. Anyway, the story is set in the near future, something about a ghetto in France where undesirables live. The intricacies of the plot escape me at the moment, but there's an undercover cop and a crook working together to both get a bomb back and save one of the guys' sister. The story itself isn't the cool part though, I was a fan of the action scenes, many of which involved my personal favorite YouTube search of free running (or parkour if you're nasty, or French). I caught this on Netflix's amazing instant watch and can't recommend it more to action fans. Seriously, go check it out NOW.

Okay, hope you enjoyed these brief movie reviews. Look for more trade and movie reviews soon!

Halloween Scene: With (Robot) 'Friends' Like These...

2009-02-05 3:16:36 pm

You know how sometimes your friend will tell you about a movie that sounds pretty awesome and then, in fact, turns out to BE pretty awesome? Well, I was hoping that would happen after Rickey gave me the following description of Wes Craven's Deadly Friend (1986) (paraphrased, of course): "So, there's this kid who built a robot and he likes this girl. A neighbor shoots the robot and the girl's abusive dad accidentally kills her, so the kid combines them and the robo girl starts killing people." He then sends me a clip of a girl throwing a basketball at an old woman and her head EXPLODES (it's on YouTube, just search for Deadly Friend) and I was sold.

Unfortunately, Deadly Friend is a freaking boring movie. If the above premise sounds awesome and you love the YouTube clip, don't bother with the movie. Just watch the clip over and over and you'll get more enjoyment out of this flick because, even though the clip promises Machine Girl levels of gore, that one scene is about all you get. There's also a really weird scene at the very end (I guess this is a SPOILER, but seriously, don't bother seeing this movie) where the kid is standing over the dead girl and her skin starts tearing away to reveal a sleeker version of the robot underneath her skin. It's actually a pretty cool looking scene, but it doesn't make any sense seeing as how he merely put some kind of chip into her chest cavity to bring her back from the dead.

To be completely honest, I don't remember a lot of the other details about the movie because it was boring, I watched it a few weeks ago and I was probably either dozing off or reading a trade towards the end, but I do remember that the robot looked like a weird combination of Wall-E and Johnny 5 from Short Circuit (a movie I freaking LOVED as a kid). Oh, also, Christy Swanson plays the girl/robot, but even that wasn't interesting enough to keep me, well, interested.

Speaking of Johnny 5, his human companion, Steph-a-nie (a.k.a. Ally Sheedy) stars in the other robot movie I watched in the past few weeks, Man's Best Friend (1993). I can't say that Man's Best Friend is a movie I've been wanting to see for years or anything, though I do remember seeing the box in my local video store. In fact, the only reason I watched it is because it was going to disappear from my Netflix Watch Instantly thing. Plus it boasted Lance Henriksen in a starring role, so I figured, what the heck?

It's not a great movie, but I'd probably watch it again before I'd watch Deadly Friend. The basic idea is that Sheedy's a news lady who's trying to expose animal testing at some kind of facility only to accidentally free a dog named Max that turns out to be an experiment in genetics and robotics. You see, Henriksen and his scientist buddies combined the DNA of animals like monkeys, owls and squirrels (or something) into a dog, but he's also part robot for some reason (again, I got bored and missed some presumably important plot points).

Anyway, the dog's dangerous and has some pretty cool kills, especially if you keep telling yourself it's not a real dog climbing a tree and devouring a clearly real cat (the dog is the obvious fake in this case). The kills are pretty cool, but the whole time I was kind of dumbfounded this this movie got made. I'm not really familiar with either Henriksen or Sheedy's careers at this point, so this could either have been a movie with pretty big names or a desperate grab for cash from two not-so-hot-anymore stars, but man, what a weird movie.

So, if you're feeling like watching a robot movie, watch Wall-E or Short Circuit. If you're looking for a robot movie about killing and you've seen the Terminator movies a million times, I guess you could check out Man's Best Friend. And, if you're a Craven completist, I still recommend skipping Deadly Friend.

Trade Post: Marvel Mania

2009-02-02 5:46:11 am

Time for some merry musings about a myriad of Marvel's most moving...comics. Wow, that's harder than it looks. Stan Lee should write an alliterative dictionary. Anyway, I've been catching up on some recent Marvel stuff that I missed out on the first time around, so here goes:

GHOST RIDER: HELL BEND & HEAVEN BOUND (Marvel)
Written by Jason Aaron and drawn by Roland Boschi & Tan Eng Huat
I've been hearing about how awesome Jason Aaron's Ghost Rider run has been, that it kind of takes a grindhouse approach to a character whose book wasn't exactly setting the world, ahem, aflame. Maybe it's because it's been hyped up so much, but I didn't find this volume, which collects Ghost Rider #20-25, all that awesome. Sure it was cool seeing Ghost Rider get mixed up with some ghosts on a highway and crazy nurses, but for me it never went beyond being just cool. I also couldn't help but feel like these were all Hellblazer stories bounced to another universe and used on Ghost Rider. That's probably not a fair comparison, but I do like the general approach to the character. Hey, I wouldn't be reading the book otherwise.

Also, I'm generally not a fan of the art, but I think it works in a book like this. It's kind of like how I wouldn't normally like some of the artists who do BPRD or Hellboy minis, but in the context of that kind of book the art really works well. It's pretty much the same thing here. All this being said, I will give the next volume a read, just to see how it goes, hopefully I'll be surprised.

THE INCREDIBLE HERCULES: AGAINST THE WORLD (Marvel)
Written by Greg Pak & Fred Van Lente and drawn by Koi Pham and others
Man, this is a good book. I loved Planet Hulk as it was happening but wasn't all that thrilled with World War Hulk (I'm not a fan of Romita Jr.'s). After all that I was kind of mad that Jeph Loeb was writing a Hulk book while Greg Pak, the guy who made Hulk awesome again got relegated to a Hercules book. I later found out that this was how Pak wanted to do things and heard good things about Herc, so I'm giving it a shot and unlike Ghost Rider, I'm 100% sold on Incredible Herc.

The book is great. Hercules is a pretty fascinating character, not just the wine swilling rogue we've seen in issues of Avengers past, but a really complicated dude who's lived an amazingly long life. The writers really dig deep, but don't pile things on too heavily and bury the fun. And there's plenty of fun.

Herc's chum in all this is Amadeus Cho, the seventh smartest person (first smartest kid) on Earth (I'd like to see the list in ranked order), a character I've grown to like in his few appearances leading up to and including WWH. Cho's obsessed with shutting S.H.I.E.L.D. down because of how they treated Hulk, but Herc doesn't want to destroy the good with the bad. Meanwhile, Ares is attacking Herc a lot, trying to put his arrogant, famous brother down.

My one complaint about Incredible Herc is that I'm not a big fan of Ares' characterization. I really really liked Michael Avon Oeming's Ares miniseries from a few years ago, but I feel like the character he set up there hasn't really been used as much beyond "big huge bad ass" in later appearances. Here he's a crazy, jealous dude who just wants to put Herc down. It's kind of strange and maybe that's how his character has been developed in books I haven't read, but it just feels a little off to me and took me a bit out of the story.

I can't wait to check out the next trade, which, I think, will be Secret Invasion stuff. I read one issue when it came out and really liked it, but it was part 2 or 3 and I missed the rest.

Machine Girl (2008) Is Freaking Awesome!!!

2009-01-31 5:20:06 am

Holy crap, Machine Girl is an awesome movie. If you like action, big guns, Asian school girls, Dead Alive levels of blood, crazy murders, track suit wearing ninjas and a quartet of vengeful relatives with a football (American, I'll say soccer when I mean soccer) motif and gun gauntlets, then this is the movie for you.

I first heard about this flick last year when one of my buddies sent it around in an E-mail. I was pretty blown away by the trailer, which turned out to be the first few minutes of the movie, and was super excited when I came across it on Netflix and bumped it to the top of my list.

Here's the basic story. The main girl, Machine Girl (or MG from here on out) has this brother who's being bullied by the son of a Yakuza. Little bro gets killed in a tussle with the bullies which sends his sister on a murderous rampage that leads her to the Yakuza who cuts her arm off. This is after her arm gets tempura fried by the mom of one of the other kids. Hilarious. So, after her arm gets sliced, she goes to this mechanic who builds her an arm that's a freaking Gatling gun. From there, the aforementioned ninjas in red track suits and catcher protective gear show up to get massacred. It's their deaths that lead to their family members getting recruited by the bad guys and turned into football-themed assassins.

So, as you can see the movie is awesome. The action is great, the kills and gore are worthy of the best slasher movies and it's freaking funny. It knows how crazy it is and revels in it, just like I did. THIS is what I wanted Smokin' Aces to be. Thank God, someone's still making awesome bloody action movies. Thanks Japan!

Trade Post: Brave & The Bold 1 and 2, Silverfish

2009-01-28 5:27:33 pm

Hey gang, still having trouble getting more than one post up per week, but hopefully they're worth your while when they do pop up. I've been reading a lot of trades lately, even started fully going through the Wizard comic library again, so hopefully I'll get more than the aforementioned one post per week. So, let's jump in shall we?

THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD VOL. 1: THE LORDS OF LUCK (DC)
Written by Mark Waid, drawn by George Perez
When this book first came out I was pretty excited, but it wasn't the kind of book I wanted when it actually came out. I was looking for simple one-off stories featuring two great heroes put together in a strange situation drawn by one of the few, great living comic book artist legends who actually keeps upping his artistic quality in my opinion. So, when I found out it was actually an ongoing story I wasn't really interested. Later on, I heard good things about the book and decided to give it another shot in trade form. Enter the trades.

I really enjoyed this book and am glad I read it in trade form actually because there's a lot going on and I'm not sure if it came out on time, which would have meant I'd have an even harder time keeping track of everything. Waid really nails all of the characters, which include Batman, Hal Jordan, the current Blue Beetle, Supergirl, Lobo and others. It's great to see a writer who I loved growing up still having the chops to write intricate, fun stories that both play off of and add to the rich DCU, especially when others don't seem to be able to keep up as well anymore.

And speaking of keeping up, Perez kicks ass. This guy continues to blow me away with each new issue that comes out. I can't be certain, but I think I first saw his art in Avengers when he relaunched it post-Heroes Return with Kurt Busiek. And even now I'm enjoying Legion of Three Worlds when it comes out. So, yeah, Perez kills it in the first six issues of B&TB. You get everything from great covers to gorgeous splash pages and even great faces. The man's a master and he's the perfect match with Waid for this book.

The story itself follows the heroes trying to get a hold of the Book of Destiny on multiple fronts at various times throughout the DCU. It's the kind of story I want to read in my Justice League comics, not weird Tangent and Milestone stories forced upon the writer.

Oh also, bonus points for the annotations section in the back in which Waid lets the reader know where/when each of the characters appeared for the first time and a few other little tidbits, like the fact that Perez didn't actually know how to play blackjack before drawing a scene involving the game. I love extras like this and it seems like a pretty simple and easy addition that only takes up a few extra pages.

THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD VOL. 2: THE BOOK OF DESTINY (DC)
Written by Mark Waid, drawn by George Perez and Jerry Ordway
As much as I loved the first volume, I can't quite say all the same great things about Volume 2, which takes an opportunity to tell great silver age-type stories by having the Challengers of the Unknown reading through the Book of Destiny. I really like these stories, which feature the Silent Night, Hawkman, the new Atom, the original Teen Titans as kids, the Metal Men and others. But they're not just random stories, they all have to do with the big villain of the story Megistus a new villain who could be pretty cool in the future.

My main problem with this volume is that Waid uses the old "two heroes team up, have different ways of doing things and then learn from each other by the end" storyline a time or two, which, normally wouldn't be so bad, but in a collection like this it gets a little tired. The other problem is that Perez doesn't do all six issues. I've got no problem with Jerry Ordway and he even does a great job on his issues, but I love me some Perez and it would have been awesome to see him draw the 12 or so character battle against Megistus in the last issue. Also, on the subject of Megistus, I felt like his character wasn't really explained well.

Also, this collection earns no bonus points for extras because there are absolutely none. I'm guessing it's because Waid had moved over to Boom by the time the book came out, but an editor could have done the exact same thing. Oh well, I'm still keeping this one in my collection, at least until I have a few beers and clean out my bookshelf again (it cuts down on the sentimentality).

SILVERFISH (Vertigo)
Written and drawn by David Lapham
I'll be honest, I wasn't sure what to think about David Lapham's Silverfish, mostly because I could not stand his City of Crime story in Detective Comics from a few years back. But, I've heard great things about his other work, so I wanted to give something else he wrote a shot and Silverfish is pretty short, so it worked out pretty well.

And, I really liked it. It's got a thriller/horror vibe to it as some kids in the 80s dig into the main girl's new step mom's past and find out she was into some pretty heavy stuff. I don't want to get into the story too much for fear of spoilers, but Lapham keeps a really good pace up throughout the whole story and I read it in one sitting. I like that.

My one problem with the book is the whole idea of the silverfish. They pop up from time to time, but are never really referred to or mentioned by anyone. I've got no problem with certain things not getting explained in stories, but this seems like a pretty big element to not get at least a mention. Oh well, like I said, I dug this book and would actually like to see it made (well) into a movie. I assume one of you is a big Hollywood person and can make that happen (if it's not already in the works).

13.5 Quick Movie Reviews

2009-01-17 5:32:32 am

Hey gang, sorry again about my complete lack of posts lately, things have been crazy. I have been keeping myself busy with movies though, so here are 13 short reviews about some flicks I've seen lately, plus one movie I didn't watch.

SIX STRING SAMURAI (1998)
I really liked this post apocalyptic-like road trip movie with a samurai Buddy Holly. The howler-monkey kid got annoying fast, but the action and snappy dialogue kept things moving along at quite a clip. Much better than I thought it would be.

OUR MAN FLINT (1966)
Flint's a swinging secret agent int he 60s more worried about having a good time than stopping an international incident (at first at least). Great, campy 60s spy fun, that both pokes fun at but also sets itself up in the same universe as James Bond. A lot of fun, can't wait to check out the sequel.

THE MAJORETTES (1986)
I don't actually remember too much about this movie other than it involved some maniac hunting down and killing high school cheerleaders. It's a way lower budget movie and apparently very little of the money went to snag actors who can, you know, act. Skip this one unless you're a horror completist or you're looking to cross another movie off in your copy of Creature Feature (like me).

DAY OF THE DEAD (2008)
I was actually pretty impressed with this remake-in-name-mostly of Romero's Day of the Dead. I'm not a huge fan of the original or anything, but I wasn't expecting much out of this flick and was surprised. The story moves along the same speeds as the fast Zack Snyder/28 Days Later-like zombies, but my favorite part is seeing actual people I recognize like Mena Suvari, Nick Cannon and Ving Rhames killing and becoming zombies. When was the last time you saw a non genre actor semi-famous person in a horror movie after they became famous? Hopefully it's a trend that will continue. I'm actually kind of surprised that they didn't release this movie in theaters. Oh well, a pretty good zombie movie all said and done, though not a classic.

THE SHADOW (1994)
In my opinion, it's hard to go wrong when you populate a movie about a pulp hero with actors like Alec Baldwin, Peter Boyle, Tim Curry, Ian McKellen, James Hong and Jonathan Winters and luckily The Shadow held up my opinions. I'm not all that familiar with pulp heroes, especially the Shadow, but I like the idea of him having a network of people all over the city (usually people he has saved) who help him out. There's all kinds of cool stuff like secret labs and ancient forces of good and evil. Oh and for 30 Rock fans, I highly encourage you to think of these as the early days of Jack Donaghy.

LAST MAN STANDING (1996)
A pretty cool story about a gangster-era hitman (Willis) holing up in a ghost town populated by two rival gangs, gets slowed down with a little too much back and forth back stabbing. I definitely don't remember all the details about this one, but I'm a Willis fan. Michael Imperioli plays pretty much the same role he always does and Walken stars as Willis' main competition and they fight which is cool. Can you imagine Walken fighting now? Aside from a dance fight I mean. Oh, also Walter Hill of Warriors fame directed LMS, so it's gotta be pretty good, right?

FOXY BROWN (1974)
So far my experience with blaxploitation films as been hit or miss, but luckily Foxy is enough of a hit. In the plus column, Pam Grier cuts quite the figure, plus she kicks ass. I also like the idea of a group of inner city dwellers taking the law into their own hands and creating their own kind of police force. I'm not a big fan of the sexual assault stuff, but I guess that's all part of the exploitation riff. Too bad Foxy and Shaft never got together. That would have been a great flick.

LEATHERHEADS (2008)
I'm not sure if I've professed my heterosexual man love for George Clooney on the blog before, but I'm a big fan. I think we'd get along smashingly. I do know that I've talked about how much I like the American Office, so you probably know I'm a John Krasinski fan. So, Leatherheads was a good flick in my book. It doesn't make my top 10 sports movies of all time (well, maybe, I'd have to come up with that list actually), but it's fun and it offered up a look at a period in professional football that I am completely unfamiliar with, so that was cool. Of course, it's a comedy, so I'm not sure how accurate it was, but who cares? Like I said it was fun. Has similar story elements to League of the their Own (which probably would make my top 10 because I'm a huge softy). Not groundbreaking by any means, but worth a watch.

JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH (2008)
I liked Leatherheads more than Journey, but it's not a terrible movie (even if it is very predictable). The special effects bounce back and forth between boderline okay, pretty good and not so great, but the effort is there. I really wish I would have been able to see this bad boy in 3D. I missed out on the phenomenon in the 80s and have gotten a taste for it by watching Superman Returns (ugh) and Nightmare Before Christmas in lame separate the background from the foreground 3D. I can't freaking wait to see My Bloody Valentine 3D!!!

KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE (1988)
Holy crap I loved this movie. Rickey got me a subscription to a horror movie mag called Horror Hound that's not expertly edited, but still offers up tons and tons of horror goodness. One such bit of goodness was a whole feature on Klowns. The movie is just so much freaking over the bigtop fun. I really can't believe that a studio made this movie. Please, do yourself a favor and check it out. Also of interest on the DVD is the Chiodo brothers' home movies from when they were making monster movies as kids. Pretty impressive stuff for pre-teens with a 16mm camera.

VAMPIRE EFFECT (2003)
The combination of Hong Kong action and vampires drew me to this flick pretty quickly on Netflix. Heck, it's even got Jackie Chan in a roll that's more than him just walking on and being called Jackie (which he is). As with a lot of movies like this that I've seen, the special effects and fight scenes are sick, but the story itself is nothing new. I did really like the cool retractable whip/sword weapons they used. I think I designed something very similar what I was younger.

LICENSE TO DRIVE (1988)
If you thought Corey Haim could have been a little bit smoother, though still pretty spazzy in Lost Boys and Corey Fledman from the Burbs could use a little mellowing out, then License to Drive is the perfect 2 Coreys vehicle for you (puns!). Haim fails his driving test, but still tells a young (though still 18 by my math) Heather Graham that he can pick her up. It's basically like an episode of a sitcom, but stretched to 90 minutes and definitely edgier than your average Saved By The Bell. Good stuff. Next up from the Coreys? Dream a Little Dream (which I have absolutely no knowledge of).

LEGEND (1985)
Legend is one of those movies that I don't remember at all, but have since come to find that it's kind of a big deal (to some people). I knew that Tim Curry was in it, but had no idea Tom Cruise was. I thought it might be kind of a funny movie, but when I saw Tom prancing around the forest or whatever I clicked this badboy off and deleted it from my queue. I am no fan of fantasy movies.

JOHNNY BE GOOD (1988)
I'm becoming a pretty big fan of Netflix's recommendations. I started watching Johnny after digging License and wasn't disappointed. It's got an older and more confident Anthony Michael Hall and a completely goofy Robert Downey Jr.. There's a good deal of goofiness to this movie, which focuses on Hall as a football star getting courted by and visiting different colleges that want him. Downey plays his wacky best friend, but what struck me about the movie is how real it can be at times. Hall and Downey sell their characters like they're up for an award. Oh, it's also got Uma Thurman as Hall's girlfriend and Jennifer Tilly has a quick role. If you're an 80s movie fan, or just curious to see what Downey might have been like back in the late 80s give Johnny a look.

AUGUST RUSH (2007)
Sometimes you've got to add a movie for your lady to the ol' queue. I was pleasantly surprised with August Rush, not because the story is all the unique (you've seen the broad strokes before plenty of times), but because of it's view of music. The way they show the young boy experiencing music in everyday life, what it means to him and how he's eventually able to play it in his own unorthodox way really struck me. If you've got to watch a chick flick with your girl and you're a music fan, this is a good choice. Also, Keri Russell is in it and looking good.

KING OF KONG (2007)
If you haven't seen this documentary about the surprisingly competitive world of classic arcade high score competitions, please stop reading and watch it right now. This one makes it into my top 10 movies of 2007 (should a list ever actually exist). First off, it shows off a world I've never seen, which you know I love. Also, that world is full of deceit, greed, cowardice, heroics, villainy, triumph and defeat. The way the story is put together feels like a really well scripted feature film, though the events and the ups and downs are completely real. If you've ever liked anything I've written about on here, watch this movie.

SUPERMAN/DOOMSDAY (2007)
Seeing as how The Death and Return of Superman is the story that got me collecting comics in the first place (and how deeply and utterly I bought into the idea that any of the four subsequent people could be the real Superman), I was very excited when I heard a few years ago that DC/WB was going to make an animated movie about that very event, I was psyched. I figured it probably wouldn't have EVERYthing that made the comic so cool (Superman turning back to save a family instead of finishing Doomsday off, that very 90s JLA facing off against Doomsday, an eyes-swollen-shut Guy Gardner asking his teammate to aim his fist at Doomsday so he could blast it, not to mention the four other "Supermen"), but that it could offer up a cool new look on the idea. And it's definitely a different look. I would have preferred them either go straight with the established look and continuity of the Bruce Timm/Paul Dini-verse or have a drastically different art direction on the project as little things like Superman's cheek lines become distracting. I was also distracted by the different voices for these characters that I recognize from a specific other incarnation that looked very similar but sound completely different. Even at 77 minutes it felt kind of slow, but the fight scenes are pretty great (though they don't hold a candle to JLU). I still hold on to my dream of one day seeing an epic, animated incarnation of the Death and Return of Superman though. A boy can dream, right?

Trade Post: Abe Sapien The Drowning & Nightwing Freefall

2008-12-19 8:02:27 pm

A few more trade reviews for your reading pleasure, BAM:

ABE SAPIEN: THE DROWNING VOL. 1 (Dark Horse)
Written by Mike Mignola
Drawn by Jason Shawn Alexander
Like I said the other day, I love the Hellboy-verse and a big part of the world is Abe Sapien. This trade collects the very first Abe mini which also recounts his first Hellboy-less mission back in 1981. Remember how I said that even stories like this that take place in the past refer back to other stories? Well, there's a quick look at Abe's origin, but again, you don't need to know anything about that to enjoy this story. It's really fun trying to work everything out because, while this story came out after the B.P.R.D. trade which explained Abe's past, The Drowning, chronologically speaking, comes before that. I'd like to see a huge Hellboy timeline laying everything out (maybe even with the order you're supposed to read them in).

I've got the same complaint about this trade as the B.P.R.D. Vol. 9, though, in that we don't get treated to a Mignola intro (though there still is the requisite sketchbook). And speaking of the art, Jason Shawn Alexander is awesome. I have no idea what else he's done, but the way he draws the creepy little ghost things with the writing all over them is pretty damn creepy. Well done Jason, someday I'd like to have you contribute to my Green Lantern or eventual horror movie themed sketchbook.

I guess I haven't really talked about the story, so here goes. Abe's on an island looking for a magic spike in a demon, but soon enough these short demon dudes show up and everyone on the island dies! So, it's up to Abe to save the day. I don't want to get too much more into it without giving stuff away, but it's another great Hellboy-verse story that any fan or novice can pick up and love.

NIGHTWING: FREEFALL (DC)
Written by Peter J. Tomasi
Drawn by Rags Morales & Don Kramer
I'm not the biggest Nightwing fan in the world, though I did enjoy most of the Devin Grayson and Chuck Dixon issues I read back in the day. Of course, things haven't been so great in recent memory. But no more! I've been loving former editor Tomasi's run on the book. Tomasi has boiled the character down to his essence, added his own spin and really cemented him in his post-One Year Later setting of New York City. In this book we get to see Dick taking up skydiving, getting a new job and home and trying to track down a villain who's stealing super-corpses. What Tomasi does that I love is, he shows how much a part of the DCU Nightwing really is (remember, he lead the JLA at one point when they were stuck in the past). Not only does Flash (Wally) stop by for a beer, interact with Batman and Robin and confab with Superman on a case, but he also ha the JSA help set up his new pad (they're not too far away, also being located in NYC).

I also have to admit I'm fond of Peter's use of the New York area. I'm not as familiar with the city itself, but I totally geeked out when Nightwing flew under the Bear Mountain Bridge, which I pass every day on my way to work. There's also a few other locations that I think I recognized (hey, I'm still learning). Aside from the locations, I appreciate the writer's creativity and logic when dealing with the superhero world. Nightwing flies around on a 'Wing wing (a kind of jetpack with wings), but he also asked Bruce Wayne to purchase various buildings placed strategically throughout NYC to give him plenty of places to get to if he needs to hid out. Brilliant! Does Batman even do that?

There are a few downsides though. There's a bit of wordiness int he first few pages of the trade explaining how much Dick loves skydiving. It's not poorly written by any means, but it's a little bit dense and I know it turned a few guys at the lunch table off from reading the book (though I convinced them too soon enough). I'm also not sure what's up with Rags' art. I much prefer Don Kramer's work in the book. It's a lot cleaner and crisper and I kind of hope he becomes the regular artist.

So, if you're even a cursory fan of Nightwing or Batman, you should definitely check this trade out as it, in my opinion, greatly represents the character as well as the logical standing he has in the DCU as one of the very first sidekicks who has literally grown up in the superhero world.

Trade Post: B.P.R.D. 1946 & Catwoman Crime Pays

2008-12-17 1:37:54 am

Okay, time for another installment of trade post:

B.P.R.D. 1946 Volume 9 (Dark Horse)
Written by Mike Mignola & Joshua Dysart
Drawn by Paul Azaceta
I love me some Hellboy, you guys and, of course, that includes B.P.R.D. I didn't get into the Hellboy-verse until a few years ago, which was pretty good timing because I was able to read all the trades at Wizard and I was able to hop over the long gap when there weren't any new books and Hellboy was spending a few years under the ocean. I'm a big fan of how intricate the history is. There's elements in 1946 that resonate later on, though I can't point all of them out, because it's really hard to keep everything straight in my head. I do like to re-read the books every year or so, but I haven't done that in a while and even right after I do it's hard to remember.

This story follows Hellboy's adoptive pops Trevor Bruttenholm in one of his post-WWII adventures with a group of soldiers in a bombed out Germany. This one's got everything from vampires and werewolves to little girls in white dresses leading the Russian version of the B.P.R.D.

One of the great things about Dark Horse's Hellboy and B.P.R.D. trades is that you can pretty much pick any of them up, understand what's going on and enjoy a great story with a beginning, middle and end. Sure there are smaller elements that you might not pick up on, but might also drive you to check out other books. The other thing I love about these books is that they almost always have extras. Usually that includes an intro by Mignola along with a sketchbook with commentary in the back by Mike and whoever else is drawing the book. Unfortunately, this volume lacks the intro, which usually has Mignola explaining the genesis of the idea (where the mythology came from, that kind of thing). I really like those and was bummed to see there wasn't one. There was, however an Afterward by Dysart explaining his first 1946 meeting with Mignola and the sketchbook.

Oh, one more thing, I really dug Paul Azaceta's art. Like a lot of the non-Mignola or Dan Davis Hellboy/B.P.R.D. it took me a while to get used to his style (what can I say? I'm used to my superhero artists), but Azaceta seems like the perfect artist for this project. I look forward to seeing him on future B.P.R.D. projects almost as much as I'm looking forward to all the other Hellboy-verse books.

CATWOMAN: CRIME PAYS (DC)
Written by Will Pfeifer
Drawn by David Lopez
Catwoman's one of those characters that I have an on-again off-again relationship with. I actually had a subscription to the Jim Balent-drawn version for a year which I dug. I'd also grab whatever crossover issues came out. I completely missed out on Brubaker's relaunch and still want to go back and read it, but I have read a few of Pfeifer's trades, this being, I believe, the second to last of the current run (it's getting canceled right? I'm super behind).

Anyway, this story follows Selina's attempt to start a new life with her baby, then get rid of the baby and finally waking up in her empty apartment which then explodes, leaving Cats on the run in Gotham without her mask or whip. There's a character called The Thief who disappears due to Catwoman's involvement in the Salvation Run storyline which feature supervillains being sent to a crazy planet far far away.

I was actually pretty interested in the Thief storyline and seeing Catwoman stripped of everything and on her own, but it got cut off by the Suicide Squad getting the jump on her and sending her to the prison planet. I wasn't a big fan of the whole Salvation Run storyline, partly because it seemed a bit too close the Marvel's Negative Zone prison (did they even really flesh that out? All things Civil War are a blur thanks to the Civil War Room column), even though it's a pretty sound idea in theory. I don't even know how that mini-series ended and this trade doesn't offer up much insight. You get an issue of Cats wandering around from faction to faction only to end up with Luthor's crew, but then she ends up in this weird world where's practically SuperCat and runs everything. Once she's out, she presumably rejoins the Salvation Run storyline. I feel bad for Pfeifer because it doesn't feel like the Salvation Run stuff was very organic, probably more dropped on his plate. But he handled it well, though the story itself doesn't hold much consequence (even though it's pretty cool).

I've liked Pfeifer's writing in the past, his Aquaman Sub Diego stuff was rad and HERO is one of the coolest books from the past five or six years not yet collected (seriously, what's the deal with that? come on DC, where's my omnibus?!), but for whatever reason Catwoman hasn't really absorbed me yet, though I'll probably grab the next trade when it makes its way into the Wizard office. I also like David Lopez, he's a solid artist with a distinct style that makes him stand out. He seems equally adept at drawing grim and gritty street-level stuff as huge superhero group shots, which he also gets to do in this book.

I can't really recommend Crime Pays to non Catwoman readers. There's a lot going on in this book that's not only connected to past Catwoman continuity, but also a part of DC's last year that seems generally ignored (seriously, I read a ton of DC books, how did the villains get back?). Hopefully the next volume will wrap things up with The Thief (I'm seriously interested in that storyline, as well as what the heck Catwoman's supposed to do with all her stuff gone).

Halloween Sccene: Halloween The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)

2008-12-03 4:31:42 am

Wow. Faithful readers will remember that I was pleasantly surprised watching the Halloween sequels by how much I liked them. Well, that all changed with the fifth. The best part about Curse is Paul Rudd, an actor I love in his comedic rolls (Wet Hot American Summer, Knocked Up, Friends, etc.). Rudd plays Tommy Doyle who you may remember as the kid Laurie's babysitting in the original flick. Well, now he's a melodramatic college student obsessed with Michael Myers. Rudd jumps into the role with an intensity that gives Donald Sutherland's Loomis a run for his money. Seriously though, as bad as the movie is, it's kind of worth it just to watch Rudd.

Of course, that might not be enough for most people and I don't blame 'em as there's all kinds of craziness going on. First off (not chronologically, of course, just the first thing to pop into my head as I watched this movie over a week ago), the Myers house is being lived in by Laurie Strode's adoptive family the Strodes. Now, this is incredibly frustrating on a few levels. First off, it looks absolutely nothing like the house. It's the wrong shape, the wrong color, the rooms are different, the basement is different and the yard is the wrong shape. Maybe you're average viewer wouldn't notice something like that, but your average Halloween fan will. Oh, also, the Strodes appear to have no knowledge of Michael Myers and the dad is a complete jerk. He's close to unbearable to watch.

Really, the only reason they're in the movie is to have some weird connection to Laurie, oh yeah and their daughter has a kid who has some unexplained connection to Michael which leads him to wander over towards the killer at times. What?! It makes no sense and the only purpose it serves is to get his mom closer to Michael.

So what's the plot? To be honest I'm not all the way sure. In the beginning you've got Michael's pregnant niece Jamie as a teenager. Some weird dudes in robes kidnap her and force her to give birth in their weird warehouse place. Jamie eventually escapes with her baby but dies. Somehow (I can't really remember, to be honest) Paul Rudd winds up with the baby. Meanwhile, Loomis is on the hunt as Michael starts attacking again, older and crazier than ever. Loomis is dealing with a doctor (played by Greg's dad from Dharma and Greg) who SPOILER turns out to be head of the cult.

We also find out that Michael appears to be related to some kind of druid curse, which is an element I actually liked as it's a fairly creative use of what's been laid down before it and makes sense (like a Geoff Johns comic). Anyway, it gets fumbled by the poor directing. The whole movie looks like it was made for TV instead of the big screen (which may have been the case as I don't really remember seeing ads for this movie in 1995, but hey, my memory sucks).

Meanwhile, the rest of the movie gets pretty well fumbled as there's no real ending (apparently Sutherland passed away during filming and they didn't really have an ending so they just threw something together, ugh). Michael does way too much corpse-posing which is an element I appreciated in the early films, but after watching 6 or so Friday the 13th movies, it's getting old. That added to the poor choice for the Myers house and the general lack of likable characters and a coherent plot really make this a disappointing finale to the original Halloween series. I'm still waiting to watch H2O and Resurrection (or whatever it's called), but I'm not really looking forward to them which is why I'm taking a bit of a horror break to watch some (hopefully) good action movies.

Halloween Scene: Turkey Day Round Up Part 1

2008-12-02 10:10:24 pm

Hey gang, hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving break. My apologies again for my lack of updates these past few weeks. Whatever staying-up-late stamina I had must have been completely spent in October. But, over the Thanksgiving break, Rickey, Em and I went to visit her parents in New Hampshire where they have FearNet and movies on demand so Rickey and I spent every evening watching as many horror movies as we could. Hopefully this long post with reviews will make up for some of my lack of posting.

WAXWORK (1988)
So, after working most of the day, waiting for Rickey to come up (traffic was pretty bad between him and us) and the four hour drive from our place to Em's parent's house, we were understandably tired. But that didn't stop Rickey and I from attempting to watch our first horror movie of the weekend and boy did we choose a doozy. Waxwork is about a bunch of kids who decide it's a good idea to go to a wax museum that pops up in their neighborhood one day. Actually, there's a pretty funny scene where two of their group decide it's a bad idea and bounce. I loved that scene. It reminded me of what I would do in that situation. "You want to go into a stranger's wax museum even though we have no idea who he is or whether the wax figures will come to life and kill us? No thanks, I'm good."

In actuality the movie is a bit more creative than that as the kids get sucked into whatever kind of scene the wax figures represent. So, when the girl approaches the vampire set, she's transported to a creepy castle where she's forced to eat what looks like cranberry surprise. And then...

Okay, we didn't get any further than this scene. We were both tired and bored by this point and I'm pretty sure we both fell asleep while watching it. The only other interesting piece of info is that Zach Galligan, of Gremlins fame, stars as a spoiled rich kid. The funny thing is is that Rickey and I are both avid readers of Horror Movie a Day and it turns out that he watched the movie too, though he actually finished it. Sounds like it actually got kind of cool towards the end. Oh well, the on demand stuff saves your progress in the film for 24 hours, but by then we were watching...

CHRISTMAS EVIL (a.k.a. You Better Watch Out, a.k.a. Terror in Toyland) (1980)
And boy, what a stinker. After a long day of being terrorized, uh, I mean spending Thanksgiving with Em's family, we came back and everyone eventually went to bed so we decided to get ready for Christmas by watching a movie about a dude dressed as Santa killing people. According to my beloved Creature Features, this is the first incident of such a film and it is not a good one. The whole plot revolves around this dude who saw his parents not really doing anything sexual (they were barely touching and fully clothed while pops was dressed as Santa) who now sleeps in Santa PJs, works in a toy factory and keeps tabs on the neighborhood kids to see who's naughty and nice. That's a big chunk of the movie.

I think we both fell asleep at about the same time Thursday night. The next evening we figured we didn't have too much time left and put the boring flick back on. It's actually kind of interesting in the last 15 minutes. If you feel compelled to watch this movie, do so from that point on and you'll get the gist of it. Once the killings finally start happening (on the steps of a church with the jerkiest, most apathetic clergy I've ever seen), the movie doesn't really pick up as our killer finds himself back at his company Christmas party celebrating with the people who were earlier making fun of him. It really doesn't make any sense. Oh, there's also a scene where Santa scares a kid by hiding in the bushes in his bright red suit. In true horror movie fashion, the kid's mom doesn't investigate her son's accusations of a man in the bushes and just gives them a quizzical look before driving off.

But the best part of the movie is the very end where Santa runs into some kids who he then uses as human shields once the parents get a look at him. By this point, we've already seen some Santas in a line-up, so you know the police are on the case. The problem is, how do these people know this Santa is the killer? One dude is so convinced that he pulls a switchblade on Santa. Santa gets away which leads to a Frankenstein-like mob with torches and everything chasing Santa through the street. He just barely escapes into his chimo van with a sleigh and reindeer painted on it (how the cops weren't able to track this down after the church murders while it was just sitting outside the office party, I'll never know). He heads over to his brothers house, where his brother almost chokes him to death, but he gets up and hops back into the chimo van just in time for the torch-carrying mob to catch up, causing him to swerve off of a bridge and...fly off into the sky Grease-style. I guess there's some discussion about whether he survives or not, seeing as how you can hear a car crash sound at the same time as the van flies away. I don't really care either way because this movie's not good, but the image of that van flying away is just great. Rickey took a picture with his iPhone and it's awesome. So, after finishing Christmas Evil on Thursday we watched an actual good movie called...

MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN (2008)
Which I had thought was a Clive Barker movie ever since I first heard about it, but it turns out it's based on one of his stories. Anyway, some of you who are more into the goings on of the horror industry know that Lionsgate kind of buried this movie by giving it a limited release in cheap theaters only, which I've never actually heard of before. I was really surprised when I first heard this and still thought it was a Clive Barker movie, but I was still surprised after watching it because the cast is fairly well known, though less in the star power vein and more in the "hey, it's that guy from that thing" way. You've got Bradley Cooper who will always hold a special place in my heart for his involvement in Wedding Crashes, Vinnie Jones who's just awesome, Brooke Shields (?!), Ted Raimi and Leslie Bibb who played the reported who tried to corner Tony Stark in Iron Man (and then slept with him). With the right advertising and one of those annoying "from the creator of Hellraiser/Nightbreed/Lord of Illusion/half my nightmares" things, I don't see why MMT couldn't have had a fairly successful run in theaters. I understand the whole concept of studios wanting to make money on valid properties, but how the heck did Saw become a valid property? Someone needs to give another new franchise a chance. Gimme Trick r Treat already!

Anyway, I didn't fall in love with MMT, but I did really like it. Cooper plays a photographer who's trying to capture the real, raw underbelly of late night New York. While doing this he comes across a man (Jones) who he thinks killed a model he photographed the night before. As he slips further and further into obsession (following Jones at all hours of the night and showing up at his job as a butcher), Cooper's girlfriend, Bibb, gets more and more concerned for him. From here on out, I'll be in SPOILER territory.

So, as you can imagine this being a work based on Clive Barker, this movie doesn't just lie in the real world, though there are plenty of real world scares. Jones is pretty terrifying as the killer. He's already a huge dude, but by making him a huge silent guy in a crisp suit with a meat hook and a huge metal meat mallet, man, he's just creepy. As Rickey pointed out, he doesn't even need a mask like your typical slasher. And Cooper as the obsessed photographer really kills it, especially because it turns out that he's right, but no one will listen to him. That's one of my big fears in life, to know what's really going on but not having anyone listen to you. Plus, there's some real nail biters with Cooper getting way too close to Jones.

Like I said, the ending comes with some unearthly elements as it turns out that Jones isn't exactly what he seems to be (even though he does murder people, remove their clothes and leave them hanging naked in a car of the subway. I don't want to ruin it all, but it's definitely worth checking out for fans of any of the above actors (though Shields only appears as a photo critic), Barker or horror.

Uncharacteristically, Rickey and I weren't done with horror movies so we moved on to...

PUMPKINHEAD (1988)
I'd actually watched Pumpkinhead before at Em's parents' place so I wasn't really paying attention. Lance Henriksen stars in this Stan Winston-directed flick in which SPOILER WARNING Henriksen's son gets killed by a dude on a dirt bike (it's okay to laugh, it's kind of silly) and then finds a witch who brings a vengeance monster called Pumpkinhead to life so it can kill the killer and his friends. That brief summary doesn't really do the movie, which is actually pretty interesting, justice. There's a lot more to this whole thing than just a revenge plot, as Henriksen grows to regret his decision and tries to actually stop Pumpkinhead. There's really a lot going on and Winston did a great job with the movie, it's too bad he didn't direct more movies. And, of course, you can't talk about a Stan Winston movie without talking about the creature effects. Pumpkinhead does look an awful lot like an alien, but it's a really cool design, though I'm not really sure why they bother calling him Pumpkinhead (he looks nothing like a Pumpkin, though his grave is surrounded by pumpkins. Like I said I wasn't paying a lot of attention, but the movie doesn't really end like you might expect and is definitely a fun one to check out.

Okay, that's enough for today. Check back tomorrow for the second and final part!

Halloween Scene: The Substitute (2007) & Pulse 2 (2008)

2008-11-18 2:21:23 am

A few weeks (maybe months now) I raided the pile of new DVDs we get in the office and grabbed most of the horror movies. The Ghost House Underground flicks were on that pile, which I was pretty excited about, but I also grabbed some movies I didn't really know anything about. The other day I watched one of each and I was pleasantly surprised by both.

First up was The Substitute from Denmark (Vikaren in whatever people from Denmark speak) which was awesome. The story reminds me of movies from my childhood (though I can't remember any specifically) where a group of kids learn the truth about their teacher (she's a whole chicken-eating alien) but the parents don't believe them, partly because she has some kind of mind control powers when it comes to making people say things (she can also shrink people). There's a ton of great scenes playing off this concept, like the teacher starting a relationship with the main kid's dad and showing her true face only to him at the dinner table and another kid telling his parents something along the lines of "I hope you realize this is the last time you'll ever see me alive" after trying to convince them of his teacher's evilness and them still sending him on a field trip with her. There's even a great scene where the kids sneak into the teacher's house with terrifying results.

The story gets a bit confusing at the end, but all in all it's a really solid story that's got it's own visual style and even sports opening and closing voiceovers about how humanity and earth are awesome. My only problems come with the fact that I'm not from Denmark and couldn't watch this movie in a language I understand. The dubbing wasn't as bad as some of the other movies I've watched, but my real problem stemmed from not being able to tell if the long haired blonde children were boys or girls. As the story plays on, though, I figured it out.

Like I said this was a really enjoyable movie, one that I'd actually like to see get remade in the states, but with a really solid director. How great would it be to have another Goonies-type movie showing kids in somewhat adult situations and dealing with a crazy situation? Do they make movies like that for kids anymore? I watched about 10 minutes of High School Musical 2 and wanted to hurt things, so I had to leave the room. Needless to say, I'm not real tapped in to what the kids like, but this would be good for them.

Pulse 2, however, probably wouldn't be so good for the kids. Not because it's a bad movie or even all that disturbing, but moreso because the ridiculous amounts of needless greenscreening may warp young minds. More on that in a minute. The story apparently follows directly from the original Pulse, which I did not see, so I was pretty lost. I'm also pretty sure that they don't really go into many of the details of what happened in the first movie beyond "Computers caused it" or whatever.

The story follows a dad played by Jamie Bamber (who's on Battlestar Galactica, but I don't watch that show so, eh) trying to make sure his daughter's okay in a world that's slowly creating more and more black and white static ghosts that can only appear around technology (?). We start off following his ex-wife/the girl's mom as she's wandering around some weird dream world looking for her daughter (which is made even more dreamlike thanks to the greenscreening). Then it weirdly jumps to the dad grabbing the daughter and leaving for a cabin in the woods where his weird girlfriend comes in. There's a whole lot of other weird plot elements, like a dude who claims to know how to stop the techno ghost plague (or whatever).

I had less than zero interest or expectations for this movie going in and even though it wasn't great and the plot was a little sloppy in the beginning, I still kind of liked it. I'm not sure why, really. The story was compelling and the Battlestar Galactica dude acted pretty well even with all the weirdness and the greenscreening.

Okay, I can't go on anymore without addressing this. There are tons of scenes filmed on green screens for some reason. And it's not like this movie takes place on Mars or in Sin City, it's a dude in a cabin, yet, instead of filming it normally it's on a green screen. It didn't bother me in the beginning because I assumed the mom was in some kind of weird dream world, but there were so many scenes sporting sloppy greenscreening that I couldn't help but notice and I'm not usually able to spot this stuff so easily. It's really distracting, but it also kind of adds to the weird goofy atmosphere of this movie. I probably wouldn't watch Pulse 2 again, but it did kind of make me want to watch the Kristen Bell original to see what the heck is going on and I would definitely rent the third installment to see if the weird dude really did figure out a way to block the signal.

Oh, there's also a completely weird scene where the dad and the kid are driving away, but dad stops as he sees a fat man in a diaper readying himself to jump off a bridge. Now, I don't know about you guys, but if that was me, I'd speed up and get on the other side of that bridge ASAP. He stops, looks up, waits and then decides to drive, just in time for the fat man to smash into the top of his SUV and roll off the back. Haha, weird.

Halloween Scene: Silent Night Deadly Night 1 (1984) and 2 (1987)

2008-11-14 8:18:12 pm

You know, sometimes you just want to curl up and watch a nice holiday movie. And sometimes, you're looking through the Wizard DVD library and you come across a Silent Night Deadly Night double feature and decide to watch it. And really, it was like Christmas coming early with how bad and funny these movies are.

The first one follows a boy through three stages of his life. As a youngster he goes to visit his grandpa in the asylum (there's a car shot that looks like something out of Vacation for a moment). The old man's supposed to be catatonic, but becomes animated as soon as the parents leave the kid in the room, talking about how Santa punishes the bad kids and only gives presents to the really good ones and then goes back to being a vegetable when the parents come back in (hilariously great scene, I'd watch this old man in anything). Anyway, on their way home that night a dude dressed as Santa kills his parents. Skip ahead a few years and the kid and his brother (who was a baby in the first sequence) are in an orphanage run by violent nuns who are really into the idea of punishing the naughty. And finally, the rest of the movie focuses on our star once he turns 18, goes crazy and starts killing people.

You see, after turning 18, he's too old to be in the orphanage, so one of the nice nuns helps get him a job at a toy store. If you're a toy fan, go rent this movie right now and just watch the toy store scenes. I recognized a few choice toys in the background, including a Jabba's Palace playset from Jedi. Anyway, the kid gets forced to dress up as Santa (who he's understandably afraid of), flips and goes around killing a bunch of people for being "naughty" which brings us up to 3 (four counting the sequel) horror movies in the past two weeks that have stayed with the killer as a main character for a good portion of the movie.

From there, our Santa clad killer goes on a bit of a spree. It's pretty mindless, but I do have two favorite scenes from this part of the movie. In one sequence we cut to two kids sledding in the woods at night until two older bullies scare them off, steal their sleds and, well, go sledding. The first makes it down the short looking hill with no problems, but his buddy meets the sharp end of our killer's axe as he jumps out of the woods from nowhere and beheads Bully #2. Apparently the hill's a lot bigger than it looks as Bully #1 is at the bottom still waiting for his buddy to come sledding down, but all he gets is a rolling head and a decapitated body on the sled. It definitely comes off as the kind of scene where the writer just had a great idea for a kill even though it didn't really make sense in the film. But hey, I loved it, so I'm not complaining.

My other favorite moment comes when our killer gets to the orphanage to wreak some havoc and for absolutely no reason cuts the head off of a snowman on the way. I wish I had been watching this movie with people because there's all kinds of moments like that.

I dug the first one so much that I figured, why not pop the sequel on right away? Well, before I did, I did a little reading and found out that 2 is about 50% footage from the original with extra shots thrown in. The plot of this one follows the brother of the killer from the original. He's in an asylum and some doctor guy is going over his case, which is where all the footage from the original comes in. I found myself fastwordarding through all that junk and stopping when we got back to our spectacuarly over the top main character and the doctor who, at times, had the same look of disbelief on his face as his co-star's acting abilities as I did. My personal favorite part about these flashbacks is that not only is he remembering things that he wasn't privy too ("My brother told me everything.") but he's also recounting scenes that neither he nor his brother saw first hand. Brilliant!

But there are also original flashbacks showing us that this guy is completely nuts on his own. The color red (especially in the form of a car) sets him off on crazy rampages. He even starts blasting away at random people in the streets for no reason. Haha, oh man. Anyway, as you'd expect, he kills the doctor and breaks out of the asylum to go back to the orphanage and wreck shop on the old lady Mother Superior who's got a pretty gnarly scar on her face.

I highly recommend renting this bad boy as both movies are on opposite sides of the same disc. The original is a great over-the-top slasher flick with some pretty fun kills. And if you do rent it (or buy it, I'm looking for a copy of my own!) make sure to watch the sequel right afterward and just fast forward through all the recap stuff, it'll be worth your while to see our leading man. Oh boy, is he a hoot.

Weekend Roundup

2008-11-10 5:12:26 pm

Wow, what a weekend. It was kind of busy with a wedding and both my football teams losing, but I was also able to squeeze in far more movies than I should have.

On Friday, Em went to bed early, so I ran up to Blockbuster and did a trade in for a double feature of Robert Rodriguez's El Mariachi (1992) and Desperado (1995). I'd seen Desperado and Once Upon a Time in Mexico before, but had never seen the original piece of the Mexico Trilogoy, plus I'm a sucked for a 2-for1 and traded it in. I did not know that Mariachi is completely in Spanish and it seems as though the version I had rented didn't have an English dub, but it did have an awesome commentary by Rodriguez. So I listened to that and put subtitles on and enjoyed the heck out of myself. Turns out he made the movie for $7,000 and most of that cost went towards film. He worked with mostly no crew and local people who'd never acted before. And while I can't understand what they're saying on screen, they really seemed natural. Rodriguez gives a play by play of how he did everything on screen which is super informative and then, in the special features, offers up a segment called "10 Minute Film School" showcasing how he did some of the more complex stunts and basic stuff like shooting scenes with editing in mind. I've never been to film school, but I feel like I got a heck of an education from just listening to the commentary. It was worth the rental for the feeling of "heck, I can do this too." Who wants to make a movie with me?

So, I was pretty hyped up after Mariachi and put Desperado on immediately after. It definitely looks and feels like a different animal with it's slicker look, bigger actors and crazier action sequences, but Rodriguez maintains the feel of the original which is impressive. This time Antonio Banderas plays El Mariachi and Salma Hayek plays his love interest. You've also got Quentin Tarantino, Cheech Marin, Steve Buscemi and Danny Trejo (my personal favorite interviewee so far). What stuck in my head from my previous viewing of Desperado was how bad ass it was. And that still holds up as Banderas leaps around shooting dudes from all kinds of awesome camera angles. I also love how cool the guitar case full of weapons is. It's like Rodney Dangerfield's golf bag from Caddyshack 2! Anyway, I also really dug the final scene where Mariachi calls in his boys who also have guitar cases concealing weapons (machine guns and a rocket launcher!). It's an awesome revenge story with tons of action and plenty of bad ass characters walking around looking bad ass, but none as bad ass as Mariachi. BAM!

After that I was pretty exhausted (it was 3AM), so I went to bed. The next day Em took a nap in the afternoon and I started tinkering with my VCR and actually got the dumb thing to start working again which meant I could watch some of the tapes I've picked up at work and garage sales lately. So I popped Don't Answer the Phone (1980) on. It wasn't very good. The story follows a serial killer as he calls in to a radio psychologist and taunts her. The video tape quality added to the atmosphere of the film, but it was overall just kind of uncomfortable and I didn't even both finishing it. What I did find interesting was the fact that we as the audience spent a good deal of time with the killer even when he wasn't killing. We see him walking along the street and calling into the radio show. I've often thought it would be interesting to see a slasher movie done like this, where you really get to see things from the killer's perspective. If Don't Answer the Phone is any indicator, maybe it's not such a good idea.

After giving up on that flick, I still had a little more time, so I popped in F/X2 (1991), which is a tape I grabbed from Em's parents when they were cleaning out all the tapes. They used to own a video store back in the day, so I can only assume it's a leftover from those days (how I wish I was around when they were getting rid of their boxes and boxes of movies!). I actually thought F/X2 was a horror movie, so I was confused when I couldn't find it in my Creature Features book. It turns out that it's more of an action thriller than a horror movie, though. Bryan Brown (Cocktail!) stars as a Hollywood effects man who gave up the game after the events of the first movie (which I haven't seen). This time, the woman he's dating's ex husband asks him to help out with a case (making him look like a woman), but it turns out that the ex gets killed and Bryan stumbles upon a much bigger plot involving cops killing cops, mobsters and the Vatican. Bryan calls in his buddy from the previous flick Brian Dennehy and now they're on the case. It's a fairly standard plot from here, but what I really liked about the movie is how Brown uses his crazy special effects talents to go after the bad guys. At one point, a dude breaks into his house to kill him, but Brown's able to slip into this motion control suit that coincides with a robot clown, so anything Brown does, the clown does. Then there's this amazingly hilarious fight scene with Brown and the clown vs. the assassin. There's also all kinds of craziness at the end. Definitely worth checking out if you want to see the kind of movie that will never get made nowadays, one with a sense of humor about itself, but also takes itself seriously.

The aforementioned wedding interrupted my movie watching (it's okay, I forgive them). On Sunday, I caught part of Bad Boys II (2003) on TV and you know what? That movie's awesome. I think Michael Bay gets a bad rap. I don't know much about the guy aside from what he puts on the screen, but I definitely appreciate his love of big crazy movies with lots of action and explosions. Some people call him a hack for that, but I don't buy it. I've liked Armageddon, The Rock, Bad Boys I and II (though definitely II better) and Transformers. I haven't seen The Island yet and I didn't really like Pearl Harbor at the time, but would definitely give it another shot. I didn't get to see the entirety of BBII (I've seen it before though) and man, there are some awesome scenes in there. The 360 degree scene of Will Smith on one side of a room and dudes with machine guns on the other. The chase scene where the bad guys throw cars at them. You can't beat that kind of stuff. And, I didn't get to see it this time, but the absolute disregard for human life while driving through Cuban homes! This is what movies used to be like back in the 70s and 80s and it's awesome to see that again. (NOTE: I in no way support the ACTUAL disregard of human life in Cuba, just in the movies!) Also, I forgot how cool Will Smith can be when he wants to (and when the camera angels make him look so). There were a lot of fun similarities between how Rodriguez shot Banderas and how Bay shot Smith. Fun stuff.

Finally, I ended my weekend movie watching with the original When A Stranger Calls (1979). I've got a bit of a history with the remake. My first year here in New York, before I got married, I didn't really have a lot going on, so on my birthday Rickey, Ben and I (sorry if I forgot anyone else, my memory's fuzzy at best) I thought it would be awesome to go see a horror movie (Em was still in New Hampshire). WASC had just come out and Rickey and I had just seen the main girl, Camilla Belle, in Chumscrubber and had school boy crushes on her so it seemed like a great idea. It was not and I still get reminded of how bad of a movie it was. Soon after, I looked the original up in Creature Features to find out that the original actually split it's time between the babysitter getting terrorized story and then a seven years later story when the killer breaks out of an asylum. No wonder it felt like it was way too drawn out.

So, last night I finally watched the original and was even more surprised to find out that the babysitter portion only takes up about 15 minutes of screen time! Oh remake people, you're so crazy. Anyway, it's a pretty effective movie, the babysitter stuff in the beginning is definitely creepy and spawned the line "The call is coming from inside the house." You've also got a pretty creepy killer, he killed the kids she was babysitting in their bedrooms with his bare hands while she was downstairs. After the 7 year jump we end up splitting our time between the escaped killer as he wanders around New York trying to hit on (or kill?) some woman and the private detective who's on his trail. Here's another movie where we get to see things from the killer's perspective for a significant part of the movie. I'm not sure if we're supposed to feel sorry for him or what, which adds to my not loving this movie, but eventually he finds the babysitter, who now has two kids and a husband and starts screwing with her again. There are some creepy moments and the killer definitely walks the line between total creep and somewhat not-hateable. It's not a great movie, but definitely not as bad as the remake, though this kind of makes me want to watch it again. Somebody stop me...

Halloween Scene: Dog Soldiers (2002)

2008-11-08 12:21:17 am

I remember when Dog Soldiers came out, there seemed to be a lot of hype about it online. It came out around the same time as Ginger Snaps (or at least I heard about them around the same time). But I never saw it until last night and I wasn't all that impressed.

The movie, directed by Neil Marshall who also directed Doomsday which I had a great deal of fun watching and The Descent which I haven't seen, but have heard good things about, features a bunch of Scottish soldiers in the woods as they stumble upon werewolf attacks during a routine training mission. The movie ends up feeling very much like Predator, but with werewolves instead of awesome Predators. It's not a bad movie, but it just didn't feel all that original. I'm also not much of a werewolf movie fan. I dug Silver Bullet, but for the most part I don't really like werewolf flicks. For whatever reason they've never really resonated with me. Then again, I've never seen American Werewolf in Paris or the original Wolf Man movie.

In the end, it's a good movie if you haven't seen Predator or if you really love werewolves. Otherwise, you might want to pass on this one and check out Ginger Snaps which I remember liking at the time, but haven't seen since.

Halloween Scene: The Strangers (2008)

2008-11-05 8:30:49 pm

Wow. The Strangers was definitely a roller coaster ride for me. Let me walk you through it.

So I started out very confused because I was getting sleepy when I turned the DVD on the other night. Liv Tyler's "always whispering even when she's screaming" tone of voice didn't help matters any. I had no idea what was going on, why Liv and Scott Speedman (the dude from Felicity) were mad at each other because I couldn't hear anything (Em was sleeping) and I fell asleep by the first flashback.

Which leads me to last night when I couldn't handle one more second of politics and popped it back in. It turns out that he proposed and she declined. The first 15-20 minutes are basically them being upset and awkward around each other, a strange woman showing up, banging on the door and asking for a woman who doesn't live there and then the dude leaving. But, that being said, the whole time you know something is going to happen so it's still kind of tense.

But what really adds to the discomfort of the entire movie (which is a compliment) is the fact that the camera seems to always be moving just a little. According to IMDb, it's because it was all hand held and steady cams. To me, this is the direct descendant of movies like Halloween and Texas Chainsaw Massacre where there's so much going on on screen as well as the screen itself kind of adding to the ambiance. I think I mentioned this when talking about some kind of fake documentary, but this kind of camera movement, which could be done with film and digital, makes the movie feel more realistic, like you're a voyeur watching something insane going down without making it an actual video camera in the story.

So the dude leaves and Liv's left in the house alone and the people in the creepy masks start screwing with her. This is where the Halloween/TCM comparisons started (specifically Halloween) and basically didn't let up until the end. One of my favorite aspects of Halloween is when you can just see Michael in the background or when he's nearby, but the kids can't see him. This has plenty of that as the characters get incredibly close to Liv, Steve and the only other good guy character in the flick, Always Sunny in Philadelphia's Glenn Howerton (Dennis). There's even a scene where Steve's trying to get a car started when you see this hand just barely hovering over his shoulder. You're not sure what it's going to do, then it touches him and disappears!

At this point, I'm super into this movie. I felt tense the whole time (up to a certain point) and was definitely sucked into the flick. Especially because it got me really thinking about what it would take to be these killers. I'm assuming they're normal humans (there's nothing on screen to the contrary), so these people are actually putting themselves at great risk to terrorize these strangers (it seems to be just a random choice). You don't know who's in that house, maybe it's Rambo or a freaking ninja, anyone could live there! There's also got to be a fair amount of planning or at least non verbal communications you would have to work out (we only hear them speak once or twice though they could talk when they're in the woods or whatever). At various times they're at all the exists screwing with her and Steve, it's crazy! Those are some well organized psychos.

Okay, so the movie continues on and the dude gets taken out and I start to loose a bit of interest as Liv continues to make more and more mistakes. I get that she'd be scared and there's a lot going on, but she takes off into the woods and runs into something (my TV sucks, so I'm not sure if you could tell what it was or not) and it almost completely incapacitates her. She spends most of the rest of the movie (about 15-20 minutes) crawling and hobbling around. Wouldn't adrenaline kick in? Maybe I'm being too picky, but from there she continues to bring attention to herself by crashing into things and hiding directly under a light source in a barn while trying to make a call on an old radio (what?). It was frustrating to see the creepiest movie I've seen in a long time with an actually accomplished cast falling into the same old tropes you're used to when watching a slasher flick. Liv even hides out in a closet (or pantry) in the kitchen while the masks wonder around being weird. At that point it kind of went from "natural successor" to "I've seen this before."

But then, the last few minutes brought be right back in. SPOILERS follow. Liv gets captured and tied up along with Steve. They're sitting there in the daytime as the killers stand in front of them. Liv asks why they're doing all this to which one responds "you were home." Creepy, right? This could have literally happened to anyone with an out-of-the-way house. That sense of randomness is pretty scary to me, like it could happen to me (which is why I live around lots of other people). Anyway, they take their masks off (though we don't get to see their real faces) and then each take turns stabbing Liv and Steve. It cuts away, but you still hear the sounds of both the knife and Liv and it's pretty stomach churning. Good work on that, sound guys.

The finale really got me though. There's two Mormon boys walking their bike along the rode as the truck with the killers passes by and stops. You're not sure what they're going to do, but one of the girls just asks for one of their pamplets and they drive on, one girl saying to the other something like "It'll be easier next time." What? She was new to the gang? The boys then go on to discover Liv and Steve in the house and those bastards got a huge scare out of me. I lurched so hard that I felt it in my leg until I went to sleep about an hour later. I can't think of the last time a movie got me like that. Even I'm not going to spoil it for you though.

Seriously, go rent this movie. I know we're supposed to be getting into the family/holiday season, but dang man, The Strangers is a treat for any horror movie fan.

Halloween Scene: Mother of Tears (2007)

2008-11-04 9:06:42 pm

As regular readers will remember, my review of the first of Dario Argento's Three Mothers trilogy, Suspiria was a bit of a disaster. Well, I made it through Mother of Tears and, while I didn't necessarily understand it and it took me two nights to actually watch it, it was a crazy movie. Aside from Dario's daughter Asia running around naked for part of the flick (which has gotta be awkward, I'd assume) there's plenty of other nudity and gore, all the things you might expect from Dario.

I'm not going to get into the plot too much, but basically people start going crazy after some kind of evil gets released (I assume it's the Mother of Tears). The main parts I remember are the jerkiest monkey since Pirates of the Caribbean, a woman getting cut open and then strangled with her own intestines and then a woman getting impaled by what looks like the top of the Washington Monument. Oh and a witch girl getting her head smashed in a train door.

I completely admit that I wasn't really paying that much attention, but my expectations were pretty low after Suspiria. After reading up on the trilogy, I didn't feel like I missed anything by not seeing Inferno, so don't worry about that. But I'm also not a huge Argento fan, so I wasn't really looking forward to it. But it's definitely worth checking out if for no other reason than the crazy awesome gore. Plus the ladies are hot. What more do you need? A coherent, easy to follow story? Bah.

Halloween Scene: Friday the 13th Part III (1982) & The Final Chapter (1984)

2008-11-04 7:56:28 pm

As I mentioned before F13 is a weird series. Not until Part 3 do we get the world famous hockey mask, picked off the body of a dead jokester, no less! Three also doesn't take place on a camp (nor does 4, but they're all around Crystal Lake still).

As many of you probably know, part 3 was originally shown in 3-D, which makes me totally jealous that I haven't gotten to see a horror movie in 3-D (I can't wait for My Bloody Valentine 3-D!). I also wish they would have released the DVD in 3-D because it's very clearly shot with the 3-D audience in mind (the yo-yo dropping down towards the camera, TWO eye balls jumping out at you and countless ends of farming tools sticking out at the audience). The shots just look kind of strange without being in 3-D.

The basic idea is that a group of friends go to a cabin the day after the events of F13 Part 2. They run afoul of a trio of bikers and Jason and start getting killed off one by one. There's a few interesting characters. One of which is the main girl who had a run in with Jason in the woods a few years ago when she and her parents still lived in the house. She ran away from home and fell asleep in the woods only to be dragged away by Jason and end up in her own bed (?). Not sure what that's supposed to mean, but it was kinda cool to see Jason post Part 1 and pre 2. There's also the fat kid with low self esteem who keeps playing tricks on people to get a scare and (hopefully) a laugh. He's really freaking annoying. We've all known people like this in real life. And not only is his character annoying, but his antics and the fake-out scares that come along with them get real old real quick. And why the heck does he have a working harpoon gun? Or a hockey mask? Oh well, his one positive contribution is that hockey mask. So I guess that's cool.

The kills are fun, and the creative team really had fun with the kills, especially everything that happened in the barn. There's a scene towards the end where the main girl gets the upper hand and actually hangs Jason. She thinks everything is cool and opens the door to see Jason hanging just inches off the ground. He seems dead at first, but then he pulls himself up (and shows off his mutilated face) and continues to attack her. Great stuff.

It even looks like Jason might be done for as he's lying there at the end and the beginning of Part 4. Of course that doesn't last as he wakes up in the morgue as a dude's trying to make out with a girl. Creepy. From there we move to another group of kids renting a house, but with this flick we also get a mother and her two kids (one of which is horror mask and computer obsessed Corey Feldman) AND a hunter/woodsman who turns out to be avenging his sister who died in Part 2. Oh and a pair of twins who just happen to show up in the woods.

One of the soon-to-be-murdered kids is a young Crispen Glover! I love playing spot the future star in horror movies. And you get TWO in this one, which kind of makes up for the lack of big names in 2 and 3. Instead of the low self esteem guy you get the over confident smooth guy who never gets the girl. In this flick he ends up watching a stag film for the last 20 minutes of the movie while his friends get killed throughout the house. Until, of course, he dies.

What I like about this one is that you're not really sure who's going to survive. There's about three candidates towards the end and one of the potential survivors doesn't make which kind of surprised me (even though this is the F13 flick I remember most clearly, probably because it was the last one that Rickey and I watched when we lived together). The actual ending's pretty crazy as Corey Feldman's sister keeps running back and forth between her house the other one while Corey's up in his bathroom shaving his head (which he must have done at super speed) all in an attempt to distract Jason by dressing up like a young Jason. Make sense? I guess the inhuman killing machine is actually pretty dumb (he got tricked by a girl who put on his dead mother's sweater and pushed her hair behind her ears in 2). Anyway, it works for just enough time so that sis can stab Jason in his maskless (and gross) face with a machete which he then falls forward on and we see it carve through his face. Whew, glad that's over. BUT WAIT, his finger twitches and Corey goes bizonkers smashing him in the head with the machete. Awesome, thanks again to Tom Savini.

As you can probably tell from the title this was supposed to be the last flick in the Jason storyline, but they do end it with a weird freeze frame focusing on Corey as he looks creepily at the camera. I'm not sure what the plan was supposed to be for him, but I do remember the character comes back in a later flick. Oh, also, sidenote, no more kids in horror movies named Tommy please. I'm psyched to watch the rest of this box set. Yeah!